codysmum102
I posted under Lost the Light of my Life here on the forum yesterday and thought I was doing OK but since then the feeling of loneliness is overwhelming.  Maybe I was just numb still when I posted or maybe it's because I got Cody's ashes back. I don't know what to do with myself.  I'm just holding his blanket and crying. It's been 6 days and it seems to be getting worse instead of better.  I just want my boy back.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Brightstar
Sending you lots of love and I know the feeling I’m struggling after having to say goodbye to my beautiful Akira only yesterday and I can’t stop crying I feel sick I miss him so so much it’s killing me the pain. I’m trying so hard to think he’s out of pain with Jesus and happy and it’s just us that suffer because we miss them so much but I do believe we will see our loved ones again 😢💖
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pannklaus
I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious Cody and the deep, intense grief which you are experiencing.  You want someone to fix it and somehow make it go away.  Unfortunately, none of us can do that.  The depth of your grief shows the depth of your love that you had for Cody.  The only way to avoid extreme pain and grief when we lose a precious baby who you cared so much about is to never love or care.  But, of course, you do care as does everyone here in the forum.  All we can do is share our pain and let you know that you are not alone and the things you are experiencing are normal.  But that doesn't help much does it?  

I can tell you that for me, the extreme pain that I felt last February when I lost my precious Lenny has eased.  I can function and live my life again--something I couldn't do in those first days and weeks when all I could do is cry.  Trying to make decisions about what to do with Lenny's things was impossible.  I dreaded getting his ashes back.  When they came back it took a long time before I could decide what to do with them.  (I eventually placed them on a shelf by a window he liked to look out of along with a beautiful plant.  Later my granddaughter made some additional things to add to the memorial.)

So I am better now than I was.  But no other cat will ever replace Lenny and the feelings of loss are still there.  Sometimes I think about getting another cat.  But then I realize I just want Lenny back.  

Right now all you can do is feel whatever you feel and just continue to let the grieving process go on.  It is so extremely painful you probably feel you can't make it another minute.  But you do make it through the next minute and the next one after that.  You can continue to write your feelings here and ask for help.  Different people can describe their grief journeys and how things developed for them.  The people who move on usually leave this forum.  Those of us who are still not there completely are still here.  You can look through the various resources on the Rainbow Bridge pages.  Again I am so very sorry for your loss and for the fact that you have had to join a group that none of us would choose to be in.
Patsy
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codysmum102
Thank you Pannklaus. It does help to know that others understand how hard it is. I don't know if I will ever want to love another furbaby again. It's just so very hard I don't think I could go through this another time. I don't think I've ever cried this much in my whole life. 💔😭
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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codysmum102
Bright star
I do believe we will see each other again and I know that should be a comfort to me but right now it's really not. I know in my head letting him go was the right thing to do but my heart is broken 💔 I hope we all can find some peace
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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