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twinkl93087

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Reply with quote  #1 
My family has been wanting a new dog since we lost ours in October. My dad is the only one holding us back. My brother's girlfriend brings her dog with her when they come to visit and having him run around here makes most of us want one even more. My dad gets so emotional though, that he ends up leaving the room in tears. We mention dogs around him and he tells us he can't talk about it. 3 out of 4 people in the house want a puppy, but until we all agree, it's just not going to happen. Another one of my brother's girlfriend's dogs just had puppies too and one of them looks just like how our old dog did when she was a puppy. That dog has stolen my heart but I'm not gonna be able to do anything about it. It's frustrating, but I'm hoping my dad feels up to having another dog soon. It's still so quiet here without Brandy to play with.
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Susie_Squillions

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You Can Find Love Again

by Susan "Susie Squillions" Lynch © October, 2004

 

After being sick for about a week, my schedule was turned around. So one afternoon when I hadn't been able to sleep the previous night, I decided to lie down for a long nap.  I thought I’d watch a little TV, hoping it would lull me to sleep.  I tuned in to Animal Planet to watch Adoption Tales. I figured that would be a "feel good" show, and I would either drift off while watching it, or turn off the TV to go to sleep.  That day’s story was about a mother cat and her four babies who were being fostered by a kind family. It was, in fact, a "feel good" show, with a very happy ending.

 

What I wasn't prepared for was the closing shot of the mother cat in her new home. The camera zoomed in on her face, and (with the exception of her eye color) there was the face of my beloved Bingo looking directly at me through the camera! I instantly felt a bittersweet tug at my heartstrings, as if Bingo had just paid me a visit more than 11 years after making his journey to the Rainbow Bridge, and I began sobbing into my pillow.  I felt the same sorrow I had felt when my grief for Bingo was new.  Oddly enough, I welcomed the feeling  because it showed me that Bingo's place in my heart has never been filled by anyone else, and that I still love him as much as I ever did (if not even more).

 

We lost Bingo (aka: King Bing, The God Cat) on September 23rd, 1993 after 14 wondrous years with him.  On that morning, while my son was at school and I was at work, Bingo ate his breakfast, went downstairs to use the litter box in the basement, and then fell asleep on a pile of our laundry which had yet to be washed. There, surrounded by the smells of our family, he peacefully left for the Rainbow Bridge.

 

When I returned from work that evening and found him, I knew my heart was broken and it could never possibly heal. Bingo was the defining cat of my life (and my son's), and he had the biggest heart ever. He lived for my son and me, and when my husband (then boyfriend) came into our lives, Bingo accepted him with open paws.

 

It’s true that Bingo had a big heart.  His enlarged heart contributed to his journey to the Bridge.  He had been diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy five years earlier, so we knew that every day of his last five years was a gift. Every time we went to the vet, he told us what a remarkable job we had done caring for Bingo. Treatment for feline hypertrophic cardiomyopathy was pretty much in its infancy then, and up to that point, our vet had not had a patient who had survived more than a few months at best from that devastating diagnosis.

 

Just one month after Bingo left, on October 23rd, we brought TJ into our lives, and we fell, instantly and hopelessly, in love. TJ seduced us through the grief, and showed us that we could love again. In June of the following year, Buddy joined our family.  Many of you know that TJ is still with us, and that Buddy joined Bingo at the Bridge in early April, 2004.

 

Both TJ and Buddy found their own places in my heart, never intruding on Bingo's spot. I have now learned that no one else will ever intrude on their places in my heart either.

 

Please believe me when I tell you that it is possible to love again, and to do it well. Don't feel guilty for bringing a new animal into your home and heart. The new one can never take the place in your heart that is held by your Bridge Kid. Your heart will grow to make room for the new one who will snuggle into their own space. No matter how deeply you have loved, you can do it again -- and you should, for your sake, and for the furries who need good homes.

 

When the time is right, honor your Bridge Kid’s legacy by allowing another animal to make his (or her) own place within you. You'll enjoy every minute of it.

 

Post Script, March 22, 2008:  Since losing Buddy in 2004 we have opened our hearts and home to three more kitties; Stevie Raow Vaughn, Haiku, and Gidget.  Haiku was with us for two years and is now back with her original people, but Stevie and Gidget are here to stay.  Each of them has enriched our lives and brought us joy as only they could.

Footnote:  T.J. took flight and went to the Rainbow Bridge on Tuesday, March 9th, 2010.  Again, my heart is battered and bruised, but I know now that I will love again.  That love will be different, but no less precious.  I already love two others who survive T.J..  No matter how many I Iove in my lifetime, none will ever take the place of another within my heart.  I hope your dad will come to a point where he is ready to take the leap of faith that is required to open his heart again.  Then he will learn that it's possible to fall in love with a new one while still missing the one who has gone ahead.


__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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twinkl93087

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Reply with quote  #3 
Susie, thank you so much for this heartwarming story. I was getting teary-eyed reading it. I'm sorry for your recent loss of TJ. My best wishes and prayers are with you. I just talked to one of my professors yesterday about my dog because I found some pictures of her when she was younger. I was crying all over again. Just talking about her like that makes me understand why my dad wants to wait. We talked about it again today and I was upset this time too. It will take time for him to want someone new, but I know no one will ever take Brandy's place. As with all pet owners, we believe she was the best dog ever! We're all biased when it comes to our wonderful friends. Thank you again for the kind words and I hope you're enjoying your kitties!!
~~Heather~~
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Susie_Squillions

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Reply with quote  #4 
Awww, Heather ~

She was the best Brandy ever for your family, and no one can ever take that away from you.  When the time is right, your dad will come to realize that it's time for another dog to the the best dog ever for exactly what it is you all need now, which is comfort and healing.  Brandy will guide you to the right dog at the perfect time.

I always say that this situation is like when a close friend moves far away and you miss them.  You don't stop living your life.  You make a new friend to spend time with, but your affection for the one who moved away isn't affected the slightest bit.  You still love them, and you still miss them. 

There are so many other dogs who need loving homes, and I know Brandy would want one of them to know the same kind of love that she knew being a part of your family.  She spent her life teaching you what you needed to learn, and one of those lessons was how important it is to face each brand new day with happiness and hope.

Thank you for your kind words about T.J.  This has been a difficult day for me.  I can't believe it's been two weeks.  This time warp that always follows a loss really gets me every time.

xoxoxo



__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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River

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Reply with quote  #5 
I really hate to suggest this, a lot of people will disagree with me. If you had your mom on side, what about bringing the new puppy home with the pretense that it is just for a few days to help out your friend. I don't know of anyone who can resist the charms of a puppy for very long. I understand how your dad feels. It sounds as though he is still grieving deeply and if he avoids talking about it, it may take him longer to process his grief. We brought home our first new puppy 9 days after River was killed to help our other dog with his grief. We brought home another new puppy just over a week ago that is River's nephew. They are all precious to us. It helped to know that River would have loved them to. I still love my little River dearly and miss him terribly and think about him all the time, but I think the new puppies have helped us all. Good luck. I read another posting about this topic somewhere that I will try to find. The author put it beautifully. Maybe you could write a letter to your dad if he is uncomfortable talking about it.
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River

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Reply with quote  #6 
I found it, it was authored by Golddog, here is the excerpt from the posting that I found touching:

Our pets are only on the earth a short time and we get very emotionally attached to them. Their loss is hard to bear but we need to understand that as animal lovers it our privilege to be able to provide good homes, love and care for our animal friends during their stay with us. Don't feel guilty about getting a new pet. You have shown you have the capacity to love and care for a being who completely depends on you for their existence.
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twinkl93087

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thank you all for what you have said. It would be wonderful to have a new puppy here. The option of getting one of my friend's is out now because her dogs have all been promised to others now. It's a little too late! I've realized the past couple days reading responses on here that it will be okay to wait a little longer. I'm not completely sure I want a new dog at the moment anyway. We really need to flea bomb the house first anyway because we don't want whatever new dog we get to have the same bad flea situation every year that Brandy had. I'm kinda hoping I can convince my mom to get a German Shepherd. Those are my favorite by far! Thanks again for your comments and support in this time. Susie, you especially. It is so nice to know that there are people here that care and can help others even when they're going through such a hard time like you are. You have been terrific since I first came here in October. I appreciate everything you've said and will relay the messages to my family. Take care of yourselves everyone!
~~Heather~~
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