I'm sorry, Pavy. It's obvious from your post that you loved your fur baby beyond words and did everything possible to give him a good life. What kind of animal is your fur baby?
Loving our animals so much is why it hurts so terribly when we lose them. There are all kinds of wonderful folks on these boards - I hope that you can find some comfort and support from both them and the boards. We're all here for you, and we understand what you're going through :(