BeachieGirl33
Another Wednesday morning.  5 weeks ago this morning since Little left for the Rainbow Bridge.  You would think the ache and pain would be getting some better.  But no.  Here it comes again.  Just as strong and hurting just as much.  My husband lit Little's candle this morning, as he has been doing, before he left for work.  When I got up and saw it, there it was, like a slap in the face, that pain and sick feeling.  Knowing this morning is 5 long miserable weeks since I lost my baby.  Wednesdays will forever be tainted for me I guess - that's when I lost both of my babies.  I just need to get through today and maybe tomorrow will be better.  If only I could get a sign.  If only I could see him one more time - but that will have to wait until we meet again at Rainbow Bridge.  Run free with the Angels my sweet Little and Batman.  I love you always!
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Bizbol
It hurts, doesn't it?

Your words express exactly what I feel as well, when the pain comes back: it feels like "a slap in the face". And the wave comes when you least expect it. I have lost my Tsuk in September and the waves keep coming, less frequently and with less intensity, maybe, but they do still happen. Hang in there. Be patient with your feelings.

I hope one day, memories of Little bring feelings of joy instead of pain and sadness. I don't think I have yet accepted Tsuk's passing, but I know that, now, whenever I talk about him or think of him, I can smile and remember how wonderful our relationship was and lucky I was to have him in my life. They give us something life could not give us in any other form.  

Take care of yourself.

Sending you thoughts of healing and peace,

Eric
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Baumert81
I know what you mean. I was fine today until I read an article on yahoo about "how to tell your dog loves you". One of them was they share their treats with you. I never thought much about it until now. My Hogan would always bring me his new bone when we would get back from the store even though he loved them and would chew on it til it was gone in a matter of minutes. He would sit it on my lap unchewed and go lay on the couch. I would just pick it up and toss it to where he was sitting. I had no idea he was just trying to share it with me because he loved me so much. Now I just had to crawl under my desk at work and have a hard cry. Geeez.
Hogans Daddy
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BeachieGirl33
Thank you Eric for your kind words and encouragement.  I'm sorry for you loss too.  Little had just turned 18 on Feb. 4 so I had him for a long time and he lived a good life until cancer struck.  I guess I thought he would live forever since he had been with us for so long.  It's just hard - you know?  I hope things get better for you too. 

Betty
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BeachieGirl33
To Hogan's Daddy - it's ok.  Now you know and that will be another special memory that you have of your sweet baby.  So sorry for you loss. Peace and hugs to you.

Betty
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Beaglemomma
Oh my.  It was last Thanksgiving for me that my Molly went over the Bridge.  That Holiday has forever been changed for me and I am sobbing daily.  I just want my baby back.  Have considered another pet, even though I said never again and nothing seems right.  My world isn't right side up and I don't think it ever will be.

Don't think there is any time limit on this grieving business.  There isn't.  I too have a little "thing" for my Molly.  It is an angel with a battery operated candle in it and I see it every morning when I get up.  Just seems right.  I only wish we could all meet somehow.  Everyone here is beyond WONDERFUL and the best of the best ever.
angel.JPG 
janice
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ricemanstm
It's been 48 hours for me.  I walked my Delenn to the Bridge and then I set her free.  I know the pain you're feeling.  Everyone says "It will get better."...and I'm sure it will...but for now it just hurts.  I won't give you any cliches, but I will send prayers your way. God bless!
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

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BeachieGirl33
Thank you so much for your kind words.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your Delenn.  The reality probably hasn't set in yet for you.  It's been 5 weeks for me and the pain is still as raw as day 1 even though it did take a while for the reality of it all to set in.  Today has been particularly hard for me for some reason.  I have cried off and on all day.  I have cried for my Little and I have cried for the ones on here who have lost their babies.  I can't get that song "How Do I Live Without You?"  out of my mind all day.  Maybe it will get better - someday.  But for now that wave just keeps washing over me, over and over again.  Thank God this day is almost over.  Maybe tomorrow I can do better.  Your Delenn is a beautiful kitty baby.  She is with my Little and Batman at the Rainbow Bridge running free with the Angels.  Peace and hugs to you.  I will pray for you also.

Betty
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winstonsmom12
To Beaglemomma.  funny you should bring up the fact you are thinking about another pet, when you said you wouldn't.  I am in much of the same situation.  I am Definately NOT ready to adopt, but have been thinking about Fostering for a week or so now. My need to give my Love and Care to another animal is overwhelming me. This is the very first time since I was 12 that i didn't have a dog.

I am 61 now. I think My Winston would applaud me.  I certainly hope he would.  My Daughters are both in their 30's with families of their own.  My need to take care of a living thing is Huge.  I have been in touch with a few places about Fostering, and they are so grateful.  Winston can Never be replaced, nor am I trying to, but my heart tells me this is right.

I'll keep you all posted, if you don't mind.  This is very important to me.  Love and Peace to all of you wonderful, caring people   XOXO
Susan
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BeachieGirl33
Well it's almost 6 weeks now and I can see that wave gaining momentum again.  Yesterday my husband and I went to the animal shelter to look at kitties.  Just to look because I know I'm not ready yet.  I thought it might help us to just look at the kitties.  But needless to say, it did not help.  Maybe made it worse.  My heart went out to the kitties in the cages even though it was a really nice place for what it was - very, very clean and no smell at all.  The lady there tried her best to interest me in a kitty.  I told her I wasn't ready yet and there wasn't one there that spoke to me.  As we were leaving my husband told me to look and there was a black and white tuxedo cat under a bush looking at us.  It was one of the feral cats they feed there.  It's face looked so much like my Little and it was looking at me like Little looked at me.  I started crying.  The one cat there that spoke to me was one I couldn't have. We both agreed that we aren't ready yet.  Still hurts so much.  Wednesday morning will be 6 weeks.  In a way it seems like yesterday and then it seems like forever since I kissed my baby good bye.  My question is - how do I live without my baby?
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Sadiesmom061308
I am so sorry for your loss. We are all wondering how to live without our babies. It is so extremely difficult. Our grieving is a testament to how much we loved.
Wishing you peace and healing
Tammy
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bonzobaby
winstonsmom12 wrote:
To Beaglemomma.  funny you should bring up the fact you are thinking about another pet, when you said you wouldn't.  I am in much of the same situation.  I am Definately NOT ready to adopt, but have been thinking about Fostering for a week or so now. My need to give my Love and Care to another animal is overwhelming me. This is the very first time since I was 12 that i didn't have a dog.

I am 61 now. I think My Winston would applaud me.  I certainly hope he would.  My Daughters are both in their 30's with families of their own.  My need to take care of a living thing is Huge.  I have been in touch with a few places about Fostering, and they are so grateful.  Winston can Never be replaced, nor am I trying to, but my heart tells me this is right.

I'll keep you all posted, if you don't mind.  This is very important to me.  Love and Peace to all of you wonderful, caring people   XOXO
                                                                                                                                                                                 Lost my beautiful boxer baby Bonzo on 16 feb to a brain tumour . He was my universe. Like you i cannot imagine a new baby in my life so thought i would foster in 
his memory. As it turned out a day after applying we had a beautiful 7 month boxer boy
in our home on 18th march. He was with us for 10 days. What a joy he was. Can honestly say it was a blessing to share in his journey to his furever home. Updates from his wonderful new family make it so worthwhile. So many beautiful babies waiting for your love. I truly believe Winston will guide them to you. He will be watching over you
and be so proud. hugs Moyra x
moyra
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BeachieGirl33
Well here it is ... 6 long weeks since Little left for Rainbow Bridge.  I sat in front of his things, looking at his candle and the spot where he left us, holding his "baby" and smelling it.  Trying to hold onto his smell.  It really doesn't seem like 6 weeks though.  Wasn't it just today that I kissed Little good bye?  No it wasn't, but I wish I could bring that day back so I could hold him one more time.  It still hurts so, so much and I miss him more every day. 

I love you Little and I will always miss you until I see you and Batman at Rainbow Bridge - from your Mommy

In memory of Little - Feb. 4, 1998 - Feb. 24, 2016


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