tinarealtor
January 21st my 10 year old dachshund laid down on the floor and wouldn't move. My first thoughts were that he hurt his back jumping off the bed because well, he is not exactly a dachshund who listens and stays put. I did the routine exam as instructed by my vet (I have 3 Doxies and volunteer for a Doxie rescue so this is a common problem for them) but nothing seemed to trigger any reaction. His eyes followed me and his tail wagged but he was completely limp and had no resistance to anything I did. I gently scooped him up and held him close until I could get in the car and get to the vet (it was 6 am when it happened). Half way there he started to 'come out of it' and began moving around almost normal. By the time we arrived he was still dazed but walking on his own. He was in no distress during the entire episode, very calm, rhythmic breathing. My vet did some radiographs and an ultrasound. My baby had an enlarged heart and fluid in the pericardium (sac around the heart) of which is caused by only two things......., idiopoathic (meaning no reason) or a tumor. They sent me to a specialist because the fluid build up wasnt significant enough and she was afraid to do it in her office. Tapping that fluid would tell them if it was idiopathic (clear or yellow fluid) or if it was a tumor (bloody fluid). I rushed him to the specialist. His cost to drain fluid was $1200 which I did not have. I left and called my Vet and she agreed to try the following week to the tune of $300.......the results were devastating. Bandit had blood around his heart which meant he had a tumor of the blood vessles and the fluid that was accumulating was bloody cancer cells. By this time, he had returned to normal. Running around as if nothing was wrong. 10 days later he collapsed again. He came out of his stupor a little sooner than the first time and once again, returned to his normal happy self. Julie tapped that fluid on Tuesday Feb 2 and he had another episode on Saturday February 6th, an even more short lived episode but again, bouncing around like a jack rabbit afterward.

Hubby and I had a cruise planned which we left on February 8th for. I gave Bandit strict instructions before I left that he was to be there when I returned. My son stayed home with him and sent me photos all week. We were to return on Saturday the 13th at 10am. Bandit died in my son's arms at 4:37am that morning. He went into an episode and didn't come out of it. His suffering was short thankfully but traumatic for my son. I arrived home to find him tediously tucked in his favorite blanket. I held him (not nearly long enough) and cried inconsolably for hours. I took him to Julie so that he can be cremated (happening today) and that my baby can come home to mama forever.

I've read extensively about this disease and there's no early detection, certainly no cure and honestly the three weeks he lived following his first symptom were a blessing. Julie hugged me the day she first saw him for this and we cried together. She knew he'd be gone soon and thought much sooner than he was actually. I am grateful I got the extra time......I will never ever get over him. I didnt have enough time with him, he had my heart and soul and I just cant stop crying.

These photos were taken during his illness.....
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LUCYLULU
What a cutie! Handsome boy, Bandit is looking right into you & then posing so well for his photo op. I am so very sorry for the loss of your boy. The pain and hollow feeling is so deep when we have these life, heart & soul connections. I wish I could write that it gets 'better' with time. Someone wrote here, that the sharp pain may dull with time. And someone else wrote that it comes in waves-- sometimes like a tsunami. Everyone is different...but it's wicked.

Your 10 y/o boy was so well cared for and loved by you. Then he was doing OK-- your son kept you up-to-date with his pictures etc. And when Bandit passed, he was in his loving arms. I am sure it is very hard for you, and also for your son. I hope that all of you can know that Bandit is @ peace, without pain and without crippling episodes, playing over the Rainbow Bridge. I also hope that he gives you little signs~ here & there~ it can help with the pain.   Hugs, Kasey

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tinarealtor
Thank you for your kind words. I pray the pain eases but when I look to my future without Bandit, it makes me nauseous and break down and cry. I cannot imagine my life without him and I see him at home everywhere I look and when I realize he wont be barrelling through the pet door or barking at exactly 5 am and 5pm to be fed or following me into the laundry room to check out the garbage can, it takes my breath away and I drop to my knees. He was soooo much more than a pet. 
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Beaglemomma
I certainly wish I could tell you that time would be your friend, but from my own experience I can't honestly say that.  What I can tell you is that you are at a site where we all TRULY understand what you are going through and do sympathize with the overwhelming pain you are experiencing.  Here you can say whatever you are feeling and no one will judge you or try to minimize what you are feeling.

I wish I could take your pain away, but since that isn't possible, just know that you are not alone and I truly do understand.  Your baby's beautiful eyes tell the whole story as did my Molly's.  You see such love in those eyes and how do you  recover from the loss of a love that great???
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janice
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tinarealtor
I dont know that I will ever recover. I've had many pets in my life and I still have two wonderful little doxies at home that I rescued BUT Bandit was hand picked from a litter and has been with me since he was 4 weeks old. He is the youngest and the was my baby and the thought of going home each day and him not being there as well as watching his brothers search for him is absolutely unbearable. Thank you all for your support.
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tinarealtor
The day after we found out he was sick :(

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deereay33
What a fabulous photograph. Im so sorry for your loss. Ive just lost my 13 year old lab, soul mate, best friend in the world to lymphoma. I miss him every day so know very well your pain. How blessed we are for this love with our animals.
Dee
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jonancy
I am so sorry for your loss. I have tears reading your post, we lost our 12 year old dachshund suddenly a little over a year ago. (ruptured spleen from a tumor we didn't know he had). I wish I could tell you time heals, but for me it hasn't, I miss my Scooter more than I ever thought possible. He was my baby. Yes, I don't cry as much but the emptiness is still very much there. My heart truly goes out to you. This forum has been a source of comfort for me, it has he!ped me more than anything...we all understand what you are going through. I do know that I ride a roller coaster of emotions dealing with his loss.

I loved reading you belong to a Dachshund rescue. My Mom rescued one when I was only four, many, many years ago. That is what gave me my love for these dogs. (I've had four in my life). Scooter was and is the love of my life, so I understand how special Bandit is to you. We love all the others but there is one that is just that...the one. I hope you know that you did everything you could for him, he knows the love you have for him. I am so sorry it had to happen when you were away, I feel so bad for your son, how hard it must have been for him.

Bandit is a handsome guy and I love the black and white picture, I love the expression on his face...what a sweetheart. Again, my heart goes out to you.

Take care,
Jonancy...Scooter's Mama
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tinarealtor
Thank you, it's so nice to hear from folks like you knowing I am not alone.
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Catawampus
I'm so very sorry for your loss. He is such a handsome little man. I know all too well the special bond we forge with our furry companions. Clearly the love you and Bandit shared was one-of-a-kind and beyond what words can fully describe. 

I understand deeply the grief you're experiencing. The tears that won't stop. The nearly unbearable sense of loss. I can only hope that each day is a little better than the day before. For all of us. Please know that my heart and thoughts are with you.

John
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CarlyLottie
Tina: The subject of your topic broke my heart as I just lost our sweet Jesse to the same thing, hemangiosarcoma.  This just occurred this past Saturday, Feb. 13th.  Jesse, a GSD/Chow mix that we adopted with her "sister" Jasmine in 2006 when they were 11 weeks old.  My husband and I were unable to have children (the human kind) so Jesse and Jasmine filled that void in our lives and brought us so much joy.  Back in '06, our house was newly built and after being in the house for about 6 months, we (at least I did at first), knew it was time to adopt some furbabies.  I found Jesse first.  She was a light cream baby and that face of hers just flipped my heart upside down.  I emailed my husband her picture and subject was "Can we??"...he emailed me back and said "We'll see."  Three hours later, we were driving back home with our 2 babies (Jasmine is more of the GSD coloring, black & tan...we got her too because "you just can't one", right?). 

Last Friday, Jesse wasn't acting herself.  She wasn't interested in her toys, treats, table food, and was sleeping and tired for most of the day.  We thought maybe it was bug and her belly was upset for whatever reason (her stool was pretty soft most of the day).  I decided to make an appt. to see her vet the following Saturday morning.  We hoped to get a script for some antibiotics and she'd get to feeling better in a few days.

On Sat. morning before our appt. at the vet, we (my husband and I, followed by Jasmine) were upstairs getting ready.  We called out to Jesse to come upstairs.  She finally appeared but once she got to our bedroom, she essentially collapsed on the floor, like she was winded and exhausted.  My husband wrapped her up in a blanket and we brought her downstairs.  She just looked at us with peace and love, like she usually does.  We were about 1/2 hour away from our appointment but we decided to arrive early in hopes her doctor would see us sooner rather than later.  Her doctor was her vet from day one of having Jess and Jazz in our lives.  We described and listed the symptoms of what Jesse had been experiencing for about a day.  They took a blood sample and check her gums (hindsight...the look on the vet and her staff's faces said it all).  That's when the doctor broke the news that Jesse had hemangiosarcoma of her spleen and that it appears to have ruptured and she was bleeding internally. Her belly was filled with blood. She was also anemic (hence her difficulty in breathing) and her gums were white when they should have been pink. All the while, my sweet girl laid on the floor because she just couldn't manage to stand, eyes alert and watched our every move and action.  Our heads were spinning at that point but we were given options...options that weren't really going to prolong her life, just prolong her discomfort and pain.  We did not want to watch our sweet girl suffer.  I felt like someone was reaching into my chest and tearing my heart out.  What should we do, we ask ourselves and each other?  Of course the final and most painful option was to say good-bye and let her go, humanely and unselfishly.

It's the 5th day now without Jesse.  I feel empty and lost without her.  My heart hurts to be without her.  It's been difficult watching my husband cry; he works from home and spent more time with the girls than I ever did.  It's been difficult watching Jasmine; clearly she knows her sister is not around and it kills me when I see her looking for Jesse.  My outburst of tears and pain have somewhat subsided but when it occurs, I cannot seem to stop.  We received her ashes yesterday and felt that she's finally home where she belongs.  The strength we get is knowing that we have to keep an eye out for Jasmine now.  To make our home as normal as it could be, take her out for as many walks as she wants, give her extra hugs and kisses, and let her sleep on the bed all night if she wants.  The strength we also find is knowing and remembering the insurmountable amount of joy that Jesse brought to our lives. 

I'm glad to find this forum and find a place where I can join others and talk about my Jesse.  Thank you all for listening.  My heart goes out to all of you.

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Hinchclj
I am so glad I found this. I lost my baby girl Mackenzie to the same disease 8 days ago. She was acting strange on Saturday February 6 and my boyfriend brought her to the vet that day while I went to work. He took x-rays and blood, gave her a shot of antibiotics and steroids. From the x-rays that day he said it looks like an infection but would call us with the blood test results the next day. He called, on a Sunday, and said the results showed nothing specific, but that her red blood cells were low. He asked that we bring her in Monday morning for fluids and further blood tests. After that set of x-rays showed blood in her abdomen, he ran fluids and the bleeding stopped. We were able to take her home with instructions to bring her back in the morning for a possible splenectomy. However, later that night she went downhill. We noticed she was having trouble breathing and was very very weak. I ran her to the ER and they said they were going to take her spleen out immediately but because she was so unstable she might not make it. They asked me to stay during the surgery. After about an hour the vet came out and said she made a complete turnaround after he gave her some oxygen and fluids. He told me he was going to give her some blood, and I could pick her up in the am and bring her to our vet for further monitoring. I got a call at about 3am and they said she was doing great and responding well. I showed up at 7:15 to pick her up. They said she was going to have a tough road to full recovery, but she was doing good. They had me wait a few minutes for her to finish her transfusion and they brought her to my car and said to go directly to my vets office. Mackenzie looked so much worse than she had the night before, I was baffled but they wouldn't answer any questions, just told me go straight to my vet. My poor baby girl passed away not 10 minutes later, in the car while I was driving. I was petting her with one hand and talking to her and that was it, she was gone. I was still about 10-15 minutes away from our vet.
My vet called me later that day and said her blood test results showed the hemocarcinoma. He told me it's virtually undetectable until the tumor burst at which time it's too late to help her.
I don't understand why the ER didn't tell me, and why they let me take her. I am trying to take comfort in knowing at least I was with her.
She was the first dog we adopted and we had her for 11 wonderful years, but the shock, loss and pain is so astronomical right now I just don't know what to do and where to turn.
Jen
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Camiz
I am so sorry for the loss of such wonderful family members not only in this thread but in this entire site. It is really heartbreaking. They are such innocents.

Tina, the way you describe him, immobilized one minute then active the next. Such resilience.

I hope we can all hug each other, we really do need it.
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