chilover
Hello..

My beloved furbaby's 1st anniversary is approaching & I wanted to ask those who have reached this mark whether it felt any different from the usual days of grief ..It has been playing on my mind a lot lately & to be honest I am dreading it. Did any of you have these feelings too as your furbaby's anniversary was near?? I remember the day it happened so vividly & it all felt like it was yesterday. I stayed out the whole day & didn't come home until late at night just roaming the city crying, not wanting to face coming home alone without my baby there. The following morning I left my home at the crack of dawn, confused, calling out her name in a rural place, as if she would magically return. I sat on the grass reading about petloss & called a petloss hotline. I didn't find this forum until a little later. Some of you will be familiar with my journey and what I have  been doing to try to manage my grief, & although I function better than I used to in the beginning, my heart is still broken, as many of you can understand. I still cry and feel like I have no purpose in life. On my Daisy's anniversary I plan to visit a church to light a candle & pray that she is being taken care of & after that I plan to go to a big rural part of the city. I will no doubt need to call the petloss hotline & will be alone which I prefer. My father passed away some years ago and his birthday is the same day as my Daisy's passing. A happy birthday for him & a farewell to my baby girl. No matter how I am feeling about my girl's departure from this world, her wellbeing was far more important than my loss...

I would greatly appreciate to hear experiences of your baby's first year anniversarys, if it felt like day one all over again!

Sending everyone comfort & peace on here.

Daisy's mummy 
Angelina 
Quote 0 0
chilover
I also wonder - As her anniversary is the same day as myfathers birthday, someone said that this could be a good omen...I don't know what this could mean or how to balance the two in the future..

Daisy's mummy 
Angelina 
Quote 0 0
Memories_of_Marmalade
Hi Angelina,

I am so sorry that the 1 year anniversary of your beloved's passing is approaching. As you may recall my cat Marmalade's 1 year anniversary was on May 15th of this year.

I think anything that you do to acknowledge your beloved is enough. Lighting a candle, speaking to them out loud, saying a prayer. writing them a heartfelt letter / possibly posting it here on the forum, creating a new shadowbox display of their photos or memento's, framing one or more photos, creating a new video set to music, having a painting done of one of your favorite photos of them - anything. As long as you are remembering them on that important day.

And yes, I do believe that dates that have synchronicity of some kind and matter. And do symbolize something. They are mystical in nature.

I am now 1 year 2 1/2 months and although I am doing better than I was as far as stretches of time wherein I am not as devastated and able to function, my heart is still completely broken like yours is. 

I send you healing good wishes and prayers.

Kind regards,
James
Quote 1 0
P_Mom
Dear Angelina, I have not yet hit this milestone (6 months is fast approaching and makes it hard to breathe) and I can't imagine the year anniversary. I'm sure there are many emotions triggered on top of already being devastated.  I'm so sorry you're going through this - please know you were a wonderful Mum to little Daisy - taking her on your travels with you and showing her so much love.  I love the idea James suggested about writing a letter.  Caring thoughts are with you in this difficult time. 💖  
Jennifer
Quote 0 0
BorderCollieLover
Angelina: 

I will be coming up on the 1st anniversary in September. I can only offer advice from having dealt with this before when I lost Molly and Puma before her. On that day, plan to stay busy and have some kind of activity in place so you still memorialize Daisy - yet not be completely overwhelmed. Maybe, you might consider taking a short ride into the countryside (you said that you like the country, being out in Nature). and take a walk so you can stay active. I've often felt less stressed when I'm in motion. Afterwards, you could stop by the church that you go to from time to time and light a candle in Daisy's memory. Do you have a certain clergyperson (man or woman) that you can talk to on that day? Someone who is well versed in the fine art of listening. If so, maybe you could share a special story or memory of Daisy with them. That might be incredibly cathartic on this special day. And, of course, I am hoping that you will share with us just how you are feeling on that day. Please post your day's log. I am really looking forward to hearing about your day. You are a very intelligent, level headed person who will make it through that day. 

Warmest regards,
Jim
Jim Miller
Quote 0 0
chilover
JAMES

Thankyou for your ideas I appreciate them with all my heart.

As it is her 1st year, I will definitely write a letter to her, both on here & a handwritten one to store in her box of treasured belongings..I  would also like to go to a confession at the catholic church  too..Thankyou for you kindness - sending me healing, good wishes & prayers. I send them to you too.

JENNIFER

Thankyou also for you kind comments, I value them,  you are so very kind. 6 months isn't long at all & you were a wonderful mum to your beloved boy Patch! I understand it  being difficult to breathe, the pain can be overwhelming.  If ever I get like this I try to centre myself close my eyes & take deep breaths, it sometimes calms me. 
Sending healing & good wishes to you also Jennifer.

JIM

Thankyou for your support as always. I will start the day by heading straight to the church & will enquire about confession times for the near future. .After the church I will be heading into a rural part of the city, with acres of land, beautiful countryside & parks with deer. There is also a beautiful river & a long path overlooking a palace & there are  house boats, boat rides, lots of swans & a long path which attract joggers, dog walkers & cyclists & it is a place that I was visiting during the earlier stages of my grief. I love it because it is so therapeutic. I will definitely share my day on this forum...Sending healing, good wishes and prayers.

You are all in my prayers, as are Marmalade, Patch, Puma, Molly & Shelby.

Hugs
Angelina 
Quote 1 0