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Sollysmum

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Reply with quote  #1 
I’m struggling with the pain of this news and what it means- with chemo at best average 6 mths , without, 2-3 mths.
He was a healthy 11 year old ridgeback, my baby -
I will probably do chemo, does anyone have experience with doing chemo for this cancer?
I find it hard telling even friends, as I feel they cannot understand the pain I’m in and they are probably thinking” it’s just a dog”. The difficulty is in my friendship group, 2 friends have recently been diagnosed with cancer so I grieve at home silently with my boy and his ridgie sister . Hard to comprehend this love for our fur friends and what that does to us when we are told their time with us is coming to an end.....
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nosunshine36

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Reply with quote  #2 
Dear Sollysmum,
I’m so terribly sorry you’ve gotten this awful news. It’s very hard to process much less deal with. Your boy is a part of your family so of course it’s very, very difficult for you.
I had to write a reply because I did start chemo with my Sunny. He was everything in the world to me and my friends all knew how important he was. I had to stop the chemo though because he was so sad. Like you, I was told it would extend his life but it wouldn’t cure him. Once the chemo started, I saw him change before my eyes to being the “Sunshine” in my life to a quiet little dog who looked at me with such big sad eyes, I thought my heart would explode. I went to see his veterinarian and said I had decided to stop the chemo. She said she understood and respected my decision. I wanted my sunshine to live his last months on earth in happiness and he did! It was like someone flipped a switch, like he knew somehow. I concentrated on loving him to the fullest extent possible. I took sick time from work and just took him to the park and walked and played with him. I didn’t care about my work or anything. I was sick at heart knowing his time was short but when I saw how much happier he was it was well worth it and I knew I’d made the right decision.
I hope you can find peace with whatever you decide to do. It’s not easy for sure. Would you please post again and update how things are going?
Blessings,
Sharon
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Sollysmum

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you Sharon for taking the time to reply to me and sharing your story. There is no rationality in me at the moment at a time when you need it in terms of making decisions such as this.
You were right to do what you did and honouring your fur baby with the precious gift of time together was the greatest gift you could have given. I will update and for me, probably need supper as I’m looking down a path of deep heart ache . Thank you again , Deb
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CK1991

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Reply with quote  #4 
Sollysmum, I’m also so sorry for what you are going through!

Sharon, I’m sorry for your loss of Sunny. I agree with your advice. Chemo is very hard on anyone and animals can’t explain what they are feeling and going through so you made a wise choice. If our pets have a chance of survival from chemo I think it’s certainly worth a shot, but if it only prolongs their lives and suffering, my choice was also to make the most of the time they have with us and then help them to drift away peacefully.

Sollysmum, It’s true. It is a path of deep heartache and this forum is a wonderful place for you to visit because everyone will understand and empathize with your pain.
Of course it’s hard for you to make decisions right now. Being hit with news like this is just the worst and you’ll need some time to let this sink in. If you can find time to yourself to cry, yell, whatever you feel like doing right now you should do it. Don’t hold back. It’s very sad that your friends are sick but you are are also dealing with your own very real heartache. If you have any pet parents as friends you could share what you are going through because they will understand your pain. Anyone who would say “it’s just a dog” has no idea.
And as difficult as this all is try to rest whenever you can because having a sick pet is the same as having a sick child. It’s exhausting md you need your strength now. Above all once the shock wears off enjoy the time you have with your boy and his sister. Tomorrow is promised to no one, as the old saying goes, but you do have him today. Once your mind has accepted this sad diagnosis you can focus more on time spent with him and making every moment with him, and his sister, count. It’s not easy I know!
Hugs to you!
CK
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Sollysmum

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you CK,
Yes I have found this forum a place where kindred spirits can resonate with this horrible pain and experience and it somehow helps.
You have given some wise advise and I will certainly try to pass through the shock and disbelief phase and begin cherishing this time. Xx
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CK1991

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi again Deb!
I hope your day was okay. I wanted to check back with you because I remember so well being told horrible news and it’s devastating when you love your pet so much. As Sharon said they are a family member but unfortunately if people don’t have pets, or do not share that amazing bond that we have, it’s hard for them to understand. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to be sad and shocked. This was not news that you would have ever wanted to hear. It’s hard trying to strike that right balance where you feel like screaming at this terrible news but you also want to enjoy this time with Solly. I’m glad the forum is helping. I found that it helped to be able to talk with people who understand even though nothing takes that pain away. Hugs!
CK
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Sollysmum

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thanks CK,
Really appreciated you checking in!
Today was first day back at work after getting the news Friday night . I put on what I call my “ armour” to be who I need to be in my work but inside , I was just broken. However focusing on what I need to do was good but left me very drained and just wanting to get home to them.
I am listening to your advice from empathetic people like your self and trying to look at this as an opportunity to be truely present with Solly and Saphira and embrace every look, pat, play , hug. Sometimes I find him just staring at me and wonder if he knows. I look back at him with pure love. How long ago did you loose your fur angel?
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Sampson

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Reply with quote  #8 
Dear Sollysmum, I was reading through your story and you have my deepest sympathy on this horrible diagnosis. Cancer is such a miserable disease. I’ve heard that when our dogs stare at us they are hugging us with their eyes. Solly is letting you know how much he loves you. Good advice from Sharon and CK. I can’t add anything but I am wishing you peace and a lot of joyful moments with both your dogs.
Sam
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Sollysmum

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Reply with quote  #9 
Thank you Sam, I appreciate you connecting and it truely is such a horrible disease .

I sooo love what you say about when a dog stares at you. From now on I when I see him staring at me , I will breathe in the hug and all the love that goes with it.... thank you xx
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CK1991

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Reply with quote  #10 
Hi Deb, I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how things are going. I remember trying to be composed at work and how hard that was. I’m sorry!
I had 2 little dogs and they died almost 4 months apart. I found this forum and it helped so much knowing others felt as I did. I haven’t been brave enough to get another dog yet although I can’t picture my life without ever having another pet. This has to all be so hard for you but if I were you and could have even 1 week back or 1 day with one of my babies, oh the things that I would do! Ots all perspective though and of course you are still trying to digest this awful news and it will take some time. It’s good that you are trying to enjoy your dogs in the meantime. I’m not sure if you’ve decided on chemo yet. My own thoughts would be that if you focus more on Solly’s quality of life you can create happy memories now instead of memories of vet visits and Solly being even more sick. Later on those memories will be comforting for you but of course it will be up to you as to how you want to proceed. I wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and Solly and also Saphira. By the way, I love their names!
Hugs and peace to you Deb!
CK
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Sollysmum

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Reply with quote  #11 
Thank you CK ,
It’s been a draining week but Solly is doing so well post his splenectomy , I find it soo hard to look at him and realise how sick he is! I have started to just really try and connect and be present with him and you are absolutley correct- Iknow how blessed I am to even have him here after all we went thru last week. I am cherishing all that we get to do and share even just being able to sit beside him while he sleeps and stroke his belly which he loves.
I honestly don’t know how you pick your self up after losing 2 fur babies within 4 months of each other . You will know when you are ready to bring another fur angel into your life and heart as it will start to yearn and draw you in the direction of your next family member .🐾
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts.xxx
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