shantismom
My name is Marlene, I had to put my cat Shanti to sleep last Thursday.  Shanti had health issues for quite a while but he did all right and was so good about any medication I had to give him.  In September he went to a specialist and she thought he had pancreatitis. They gave me a plan for recovery but he didn't seem to make much progress.  A week ago yesterday he had some blood work done and the vet called to tell me they indicated he had pancreatic cancer.  He was given some pain meds but he wasn't eating and he seemed pretty unhappy.  I had to let him go so he wouldn't suffer any longer but now I am so heartbroken I can barely stand it.  I missed my little boy.  I feel like I will never get over losing him.  I just don't know what to do.
Marlene Wagner
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loft2111
Hi Marlene,
sorry for your loss, you came to the right place to find support and understanding.  Your loss is still new and you will struggle with a lot of different emotions and feelings.  I lost my dog Little Man on 10/1 and he also struggled with illness.  You will never get over the loss but learn to move forward with it.  It will take a long time but hang in there and visit these boards for help.
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shantismom
So many years I cared for him.  He had asthma, arthritis, inflammatory bowel disease, and was diabetic but even so he seemed to be pretty happy.  He was loving and patient and took all his meds without giving me any problems.  When the vet old me he would not be able to recover I knew I had to let him go, had to love him enough to put his welfare above my emotions but I am grief stricken.  I have lost my cats before and grieved for them but this is worse.  We were so close, I loved him so much.
Thank you for your encouragement, it is nice to share with people who understand.
Marlene Wagner
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shantismom
Woke up this morning and feel so lost without Shanti.  I used to sing to him everyday when he came into the bathroom with me.  I made up a song for him and sang it to him.  
I have gotten rid of some of his medications but I don't want to get rid of them all because then it means he won't be back to need them!
I am not young, I have lost my mother and father and many others who meant alot to me but besides the death of my mother this is the worst.  I feel as though I can't live without his cute little face.  
We have another cat, she is very sweet but she is not Shanti.  No cat was ever like Shanti and no cat could ever be like him.  He was just the best cat ever.
Marlene Wagner
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