Anua
I have two sweet boys...and my Asterisk stopped eating dry food about a week and a half ago, then wouldn't eat wet food...so we got him to the vet almost immediately. We hoped it was a dental issue...I mean, he's not quite 11...and we didn't even consider that something more serious might be going on...we were wrong.

His teeth were fine...but his kidneys were failing...badly...while the vet said she would categorize him as Stage 3 kidney failure, the numbers seemed more inline with Stage 4 (BUN was 164, creatinine was 6.4, phosphorous was extremely high, and he was anemic). So diet change and subcutaneous fluids...we figured we would try. And he feels better the day after the fluids...but it doesn't last and Thursday (after we gave him his first at home treatment) he was so miserable and just kept looking at me as if asking me to fix it...to help him feel better. He sat on me all evening, but didn't purr- this isn't like him- he and my other boy are purr machines. Today he is doing a little better- seeking love/comfort, able to purr...but I know these good days/moments won't stay.

We are scheduled to put him to sleep on Tuesday at 3...and my god it hurts...I feel like I'm giving up on him...but I can't watch him descend to the point that he was on Thursday night over and over again...I don't want that for him and he's not going to get better...I'd go through hell itself if it could fix it and make him better. But its so hard to remember that when he 'seems' like his loving, cuddly self. To be fair, he isn't playing anymore, he isn't seeking my husband out anymore for love/attention, he doesn't get super excited to see us or get food or be snuggled like he used to, and he doesn't go to bed with me every night like he used to...he spends most of his time sitting in a chair under our kitchen table. And i KNOW that he is a shadow of the kitty he used to be...it all just happened so fast...three weeks ago I never thought I would be here...and I hurt, right down to my soul.
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pannklaus
I am so very sorry that your precious Asterisk is so sick and you are facing "the decision".  It is the most difficult one that many of us ever make in our lives. As has been said many times in this forum: You give your fur baby relief from suffering but you exchange it for your own pain, grief and suffering.  The health problems you describe make the decision necessary.  When a precious baby stops  eating, playing, being active, being involved with the family he is very sick.  

It will be extremely hard for you to go through with what you are facing but you need to give Asterisk the loving gift of relief from suffering.  It will not be painful for him; he will just go to sleep.  But it will be very painful for you.  I know that you love him enough to give him what he needs even though it is so very difficult for you, as it is for anyone who makes the decision. In the time you have left spend every minute you can with him and give him anything that he wants. 

You will be in my thoughts.  Stay in this group and write about your experiences and your grief.  We can't "fix anything" but we can be there for you and let you know that others have also experienced everything that you are going through.
Patsy
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Anua
Thank you pannklaus for the response- trying not to feel lost. We talked to our vet this morning and she was reassuring about our decision- it helped...not completely...but I trust her expertise. I will try to take comfort in his suffering ending before it could get really bad. (One good thing...got the bloodwork back for my other baby and his looks perfect)
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Bigcatsdad
My heart goes out to you, it's a very painful decision to have to make.
A month ago we had to put down my 16 year old buddy Albert, my big black cat. He developed an inoperable mass in his abdomen and we had to the painful decision to end his pain. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was there with him in my lap, holding him through it all and long after he passed. I was glad I was there with him even as heart breaking as it was. I was glad he didn't have to go through it alone or with strangers. I take a little comfort in knowing we didn't prolong this and wait until things really got worse. It has still been a very painful and heart breaking experience. There is such an emptiness now that he's gone. Giving Asterisk a good loving home and life for so many years and being with him for the end as painful as it will be I hope it can bring you a little bit of comfort. To end their pain is so hard to do but deep down in our hearts we know it's the right thing to do and they would understand this.
Good to hear your other companion's blood work is looking good.
This forum is very good and has helped me so much. So many people here understand the pain and sadness of an experience like this. It maybe really hard to do but keep posting your thoughts and feelings when you can.
Deepest sympathy to you and Asterisk
Bigcatsdad
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codysmum102
Anua,
I am so sorry you have to go through this but from what you said I believe it's the right decision. I was in a similar position with my 18 year old cat Moneypenny. Same symptoms and diagnosis
 We could have prolonged her life with extreme measures but when I looked into her eyes I knew she wouldn't want that. They don't understand why they feel so bad and why you keep doing painful things to them so it is better for them to end the suffering. As it's been said it's not good for you but we love our babies and I would rather the pain be on me than them.
God bless,
Julie 💔
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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Achilly
Anua
You are doing a brave act for your kitty. Putting her quality of life in front of you wanting more time. Its so hard to make these decisions and to say goodbye. No matter the age. Sending you positive thoughts and strength tomorrow. 
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