Suzukibiker68
My beloved dog Sally, a beautiful black, funny, happy loving Labrador died suddenly last week.She was only 8. She was epileptic however was medicated for this well. She had a normal day with me as I was off work and we played and went out as usual then after dinner she suddenly became ill. We thought it was a minor fit but she got no better therefore we took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with a heart issue and died in my arms the next day. I feel that my heart and soul have been ripped out. Everywhere I look I have reminders. No barks to get us up and make breakfast, no happy exited dog to greet me everytime I walk in the house. No more long walks on cannock chase or holidays swimming in the sea. She loved teddy bears and miss them strewn around the house so much. I have even sold my caravan in Devon already as I cannot bear the thought of going there without her. Yes I have a loving family but she was my absolute world and we were bonded so tightly that we rarely spent any time apart except for work. I feel sick, lost and empty without my precious girl and I feel drained of every ounce of happiness I had. I understand I have to go through a mourning process however the feeling of loss is unbearable right now. We have to collect her ashes after today which just saddens me more. I dreamt of her last night too. It felt so real.We were lying together as we used to and I was cuddling her and could feel her. When I woke I just cried again and wanted to dream forever that we are together again.
I will love you forever my angel
Quote 0 0
camunki
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Sally, and yes, she was young at 8 years. That dream was a visit from your Sally! And i know that the first few days, weeks and even months following are very hard.

I am going on 8 weeks today since i lost my precious dog Munki at almost fourteen years old. I still cry everyday, but i do try to think of good memories of her. I still sleep with the last blanket she was laying on, and hold her ashes every night as i am sitting on the couch, it makes me feel close to her.

Please know there are wonderful people here on this website who completely understand all of your feelings. And please know you are not alone...

Cam

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
Suzukibiker68
Thank you for your kind words Cam. We love them so much in life that once they go it seems unreal and unfair that they are taken away. I could not have loved my Sally more and I'm sure you are the same with your Munki. I found 2 teddies in the garden earlier which again has broken my heart. She loved bringing them up to me with a big smile in her bright eyes for me to play. I know I'm tearing myself apart but what can I do. Plus I'm sick of people at work saying 'get another dog'... She was not just a dog. She was family, she was our little girl and irreplaceable. We have her ashes now as of this afternoon. Yes I really hope it was a visit last night, especially as it was my birthday (which I cancelled any celebration). I hope you are coping well with your loss.x
I will love you forever my angel
Quote 0 0
camunki
I beleive it was a visit, my dog Munki visited me 7x in the 8 week period...the visits are to say how your pet is doing. And for your Sally to "visit" on your birthday, that must have been the best birthday gift ever. Keep those teddies near and dear to your heart, as I am sure your Sally would want you to.

Yes, people at work said the same thing, a few people, get a puppy, buy another dog.........its not that easy! and yes, my baby was just not "another dog". Glad you will have your Sally's ashes, close to your heart and you can hold the ashes anytime you want. I remember the day I picked up my Munki's ashes, the crematory had a "bridge" as in the rainbow bridge, and I brought the ashes over the bridge and said a prayer.

I am coping the best that i can, i have meltdowns, even today, just looking at old video's of my Munki, they bring a smile to my face cuz i love her, but also sadness, cuz i cannot physically be with her, and that is what hurts the most.

Best of luck when you pick up your Sally's ashes & i also hope you are coping, the best that you can, with your loss too.

Cam

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
jimmy17
So very sorry on the loss of your beloved Sally, you really can not have come to a better site than this one. We on here have all gone and are going through the same thing, and everyone is  so kind and caring. 
   When I lost my dog Jim almost 7 weeks ago, it felt like the end of the world - he was 17 and as we have no kids was like our baby. I couldn`t eat or sleep, I felt like someone had punched a hole right through me. And well meaning friends saying `get another one`, as if it`s just like replacing a piece of furniture. I`m now at the stage where I`ve accepted he`s gone, but every now and then it comes back in a huge wave.
  A few days after we lost him I started to write a memory book, just little things that he did, things from years ago that I thought I`d forgotten - everything gets written down. I even  write to Jim, telling him how I feel - it just seems to help me. I`m so glad you dreamt about Sally, like Cam I think she was visiting you. especially being your birthday. Big hugs to you, Jackie. xx
J Taylor
Quote 0 0
JerseyNonna
so sorry about the loss of your dear sally.  sounds wonderful that she came in a dream to wish you a happy birthday and even better that you recalled the dream itself.  8 years old is so young to us that sometimes we forget that our canine buddies age differently than we do (don't worry, I find myself telling myself this fact over and over since the loss of my sweet roxie who just turned 9).  it's hard to lose them at any age but when it seems younger than we expected life turns unfair to us.  it will be 5 weeks this Saturday for me since roxie's passing and that first week I could barely function - couldn't sleep or eat, walked around in a fog like a zombie and because it was so sudden I was in a state of shock.  my heart felt like a huge chunk of it had been torn out of my chest and honestly, it still does.  only difference is since being here and reading so many comforting thoughts and knowing that every single person here knows what i'm feeling makes each day going forward just that wee bit easier.  you may find that after week one your grief comes at you in different ways from like a gentle wave lapping at your feet (these are the healing days where we can begin to smile when we remember our dear friends) to huge tsunami waves of despair (ya, these are the days we slink back a few spots where we simply can't bear being without them and the tears fall frequently and almost like a faucet is open). 

talk to sally, try to visualize her still around you but in spirit which she is still around you and hears/sees everything.  you may see a movement in the house from the corner of your eye and no you aren't crazy but it would be sally giving you a "hi, i'm still here for you".  it does get easier on us but our love for them will never cease.  you have found a place where everyone is going through the same nightmare hoping to wake up from it because we loved them so deeply and fully.  always know you can vent to us, cry while typing something but mostly you are free to grieve as you will because we all are.  many many hugs and prayers to you.
JerseyNonna
Quote 0 0
stellasMOM
Suzukibiker68: First of all, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your Beautiful Sally. I know your grief is so deep and profound and I feel for you. And such a sudden death adds to the pain and loss. My husband and I lost our 11.5 yr old Magnificent Black Lab Stella 4 weeks ago quite suddenly (although she had been having issues) from a probable spleen rupture and we had to let her go due to her pain. We have no children and are 54 and 58 yrs old. Stella was the love of my life and I am completely and utterly lost and heartbroken. I cry daily and for me, it is not getting easier, but more difficult, because she was intertwined completely in our life. We had said good bye to her brother just over 1 year ago and he was only 6 yrs old. I wish I could hug you and let you know that there are so many who understand and are traveling this road. I wish I had the magic words, but I don't. My Stella visited me the night of her death in a dream and I never remember dreams and just this morning when I came into the kitchen, there was a piece of her kibble on the floor & we have not had her food out at all for any reason?? And there it laid, in the middle of the kitchen floor. However it got there, I felt her with me. I miss everything about her and mostly just cuddling with her and singing to her. They are ABSOLUTE PERFECTION! I keep you in thought and can only tell you to be kind to yourself and allow yourself any and every feeling and walk through it all. I cry as I write this, because I would rather be with My Stella, then with anyone or anything in this whole world, and now she is gone. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but her love (as with any dog) was pure, unconditional, and spectacular! My wishes for you are minutes, then hours, then days, then weeks, than months, then years of a healing heart, for the loss of your Dear Sweet Sally. May peace and light guide you!

Stella's mom (((hugs)))

My dear Stella, I will Love You All My Life....as I told you every single day.  xoxoxo







Quote 0 0
seymoremommy1
I am so sorry for what you are feeling. I completely relate to the not being able to not be reminded. I don't want to be at home, because it's a waterfall of memories :( hoping you feel better soon, it's sounds like she had the best care possible, and would want you to be happy <3 but I know that doesn't make it easier right now.
Quote 0 0
Suzukibiker68
Thank you everyone. I'm sitting here in tears (again) full of hurt and also sorrow for your losses and mine. StellasMom, your well versed words are so correct. The love we have for them is unconditional and spectacular and no human can replace that special love. I have a family too, however the grief I feel cannot be abated. My wife is also devastated and we try get through it together but nothing fills the gap as she was literally by my side everywhere I went for all her life except for work when she was with Liz. I try to remember she never knew sadness, lonliness, very little pain apart from her infrequent epilepsy and she was loved unconditionally and completely. Her ashes now sit on my mantelpiece and when I am strong enough some will be scattered on Cannock chase, her favourite place in the world, where I took her all the time. I only had to say the words and she would leap about with excitement and joy at the prospect of us having another adventure together. I miss that so much and would probably have been there right now. Again thank you everyone. I have uploaded a picture now so you can see her. Breaks my heart. 
I will love you forever my angel
Quote 0 0
deereay33
So sorry to hear that you, like me, have lost your black lab. Your words echo all my own feelings . I am married with kids but my lab is without question the love of my life and my absolute best friend. I'm in the UK and can't face to walk these fabulous paths without him by my side.  I just put one foot in front of the other feeling so blessed to have loved and been loved in such a way. I'm so sorry for your loss .
Dee
Quote 0 0
Suzukibiker68
Thank you Dee. Yes it is absolutely devastating. I'm sure your lab had many of the traits mine did but in their own unique way. I'm in the UK too. Staffordshire on the outskirts of Cannock chase forest. I miss taking her there so much for our happy times strolling around together. I would rather be with Sally in a wet cold forest than be anywhere else in the world. My friends consider me 'rash' to have sold my holiday caravan in Devon so quickly but I am adamant that I could not go there without Sally. I find my days are so lonely and empty and I'm sure you are the same. I work for the emergency services therefore I work shifts and when I got home at 7am this morning my heart sank knowing she was not around. Although I am sick with pain and tears it is comforting to have found this site and know how many lovely people there are here and overseas who genuinely understand and care about what we are going through. One other thing I find difficult is (apart from everything at the moment) is that I rhetorically ask 'WHY'... I work very hard to help people (and animals when I can) directly and indirectly on a daily basis. I am not materialistic, not a bad person and the only thing that I needed in my life to keep me happy constantly was the thought my Sally was here for me and all she needed was me to love her. I did not deserve this, and she most certainly did not at her age, her heart suddenly becoming ill, and after she had battled through epilepsy so well. Again, thank you everyone for all your thoughts of kindness.
I will love you forever my angel
Quote 0 0
LukeyBoy
Suzukibiker - I'm truly sorry for you loss. I'm in USA (Florida) and just lost my 9 year old chocolate lab on Jan 11th. I completely understand what your going through, as I'm dealing with the same questions too.

Hang in there and cherish those wonderful memories with Sally!! She sounds like she was quite a wonderful lab.
Quote 0 0
LUCYLULU
Sally sounds like she was the soulmate, best bud, dog that makes the loss of your beautiful black lab so unbearable. And then to have her pass suddenly @ just 8 years old. I am so very sorry for you. The empty house mimics the hollow feeling inside your heart. I hope you get 'signs' from Sally or she comes to your dreams or anything else that can ease your pain-- even for a moment. Hugs, Kasey
Quote 0 0
Camiz
I am so, so, so, very sorry for your loss. My heart feels for you. I just lost my lab as well, a week from tomorrow. She looks so much like your Sally.
Quote 0 0
Suzukibiker68
Thank you Camiz. I'm so sorry for your loss too. It is so cruel and awful as we love them so very much. It is 3 weeks tomorrow for me and I'm still in bits. I miss her so much and my home feels like a strangers. I have to go to Devon tomorrow to clear out our holiday caravan as I have sold it as I cannot bear being there without her. I was going with her on 12th for a few days, just the two of us as my partner Liz was working that weekend and it is breaking my heart that I'm now going to clear all her toys out. I just feel so lifeless and empty and everything has become a chore. It must be the same for you and I feel for you. I have had a few dreams of Sally where I just hold her and stroke her and I really hope these are visits from her. I don't think I'll ever be the same again. Thank you again for your message. I hope you are okay.x
I will love you forever my angel
Quote 0 0