Lama

I lost my baby boy Roary yesterday. He was a house bunny with the sweetest and funniest character, so affectionate when he wasn’t being crazy or mischievous and was my best friend. I’ve had him since he was 3 months old and he was nearly 9 when he passed. I’m so emotional and can’t stop crying, miss his little furry face. He was such a gorgeous boy. 


I noticed that he was a little bit quiet on Wednesday so kept an eye on him. By Thursday evening he was worse so I gave him some medicine. Friday morning he was worse again so went to the vet and got antibiotics. Friday afternoon he collapsed and en route to the vets he started having a seizure in the car, he died shortly after arriving. I’m kicking myself that I didn’t take him to the vets sooner or pushed for more intensive treatment but the vet wasn’t totally sure what was going on with him. Feel so much guilt that I didn’t do more and if I had then he might still be here. It all happened so quickly, I needed more time and can’t believe how suddenly he went downhill. 


don’t know how to get over this, can’t sleep, haven’t eaten, I’m just crying all the time. I hope he knows how much he was loved and will be forever missed. I’m totally broken inside. 

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chilover
Lama

My condolences on the loss of your beloved Roary. Please don't blame yourself for anything that happened.
You did your best for your boy, you gave him some medicine & you had no idea what was to happen afterwards. It is so difficult when our pets fall sick as they cannot tell us anything & after we loose them we start to second guess ourselves. You loved your boy so much & he knew this & loved you too. You provided him with so much love & are a wonderful human being for doing so. I love rabbits, I had one when I was a child. They are such soft, snuggly, innocent & sometimes funny & mischievous little things. Allow yourself to cry, it helps to cry & although it takes time to heal you will in time.  It took me a while to start eating properly after I lost my beloved little furbaby Daisy'.. It has been 10 months for me & I am still broken but i'm better than I was when she first passed & that is because I am healing. I knew how I would be when I would be faced with this but that is because I loved her so deeply. She was my little baby. Please don't beat yourself up, you were a loving pet parent.  Be gentle with yourself & take care of yourself. The picture of him is lovely.. I have a scrapbook/research project/journal of my Daisy & am sticking in pictures. Doing thing's like this can be very positive & helpful as we remember our babies.

Thinking of you
Wishing you comfort & peace
Daisy's mummy 
Angelina 
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Lama
Thank you so much Angelina, your message really touched me. People don’t understand why I’m so upset over a rabbit but I had such a great bond with him and he was my family. I love the scrapbook idea, might do something like that when I get past the crying phase to remember him by. Every noise I hear I think it’s him and then I remember and it just cuts right through me. I know time is a healer but this initial raw phase has hit me hard, I’m sure you know exactly what it feels like when you lost Daisy. The photo was taken after he nibbled holes in the beanbag on the right of the pic, you can see the little balls on the floor! He looked so cute that I could only laugh at his antics though! I’ll try not to beat myself up too much but still struggling with the ‘what if’s’, I think I’ll always wonder but will never know. Thank you again for your kind words, I’m so glad someone understands how I’m feeling. 
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Patch_Mom
Love the pic of your baby Roary, so adorable and sweet. I'm so very sorry for your loss.  People without animals don't understand - they are part of our families and often better than some humans since they are pure love. We always feel (I do too) we could've done more or gotten there sooner, but we just don't know, or we would've done it.  I'm wracked with guilt but slowly realizing hindsight is 20/20. Don't beat yourself up - you did the very best you could.  We are not Doctors.  Even they don't seem to know much of the time!  You gave your beautiful Roary a wonderful, loving home. ❤ We all feel your pain here.  
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Lama
Thank you patch_mom, I certainly did my best for him and as you said hindsight is a wonderful thing. Non pet owners really don’t understand, pets provide unconditional love and I loved him just as much in return. He was very sweet but also very mischievous! I have holes in my sofa and shreds of wallpaper missing to prove it! I’ve spoken to a rabbit expert friend of mine for their thoughts on what happened and they also think there’s nothing more I could have done, I think the shock of the suddenness of his death is the worst part. That and any noise I hear at home I keep thinking is him. I’m just going to be very good to myself this weekend, cry lots and then try to focus on all the lovely memories I have of him. 
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Patch_Mom
That is cute with his mischievous ways. Fun memories for sure. 🤗 I've read many books and articles on grief the past few months and crying is a good thing - all part of our journey through the healing process. XO
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chilover
Lama

There are so many people out there who don't understand pet loss & don't consider it real. Thankfully we all have this forum to come to & share our stories of our beautiful beloved little darlings. People will always support you on this forum because they understand exactly what you are going through. ps - I can see the little white balls on the floor where he nibbled the bean bag, bless his sweet little soul. 


Patch_Mom 
I am sorry for your loss too
Animals are definitely better than some humans. They don't judge or hold grudges, don't deceive us or mistreat us in any way, all they know is love, unconditional & in the most purest form & they just love companionship. The actor from the movie 'Marley & me' described something similar at the end of the film. I think he hit the nail on the head!

You mentioned reading many books on petloss. If you haven't already read it, I really recommend one called 'Goodbye pet & see you in heaven' by 'Bel Mooney'. It's absolutely beautiful & so charming! 

Take good care of yourself.
Daisy's mummy
Angelina 
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Patch_Mom
Hi Angelina/ Daisey's Mummy.  I was looking for books on Heaven and recall coming across that one, but chose Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates (which was just ok for me) and the Amazing Afterlife of Animals, which was interesting but not exactly what I was looking for, and another that escapes me now but didn't like at all.  I will check Bel's book out since you recommend, thank you!  The one that's resonated with me most is Only Gone from Your Sight by Jack (Kate) McAfgan. (Last name spelling may be off now at 3am and I can't read last chapter on Acceptance yet.) That one and Goodbye Friend, not really spiritual, but from a dog mom who gets it.  I will look into your recommendation!! Thank you!  
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fvernon
Hi Lama,  
I have just lost my beloved cat so I understand how you feel about the 'what-if's' and not knowing what to do with yourself.  I have a house bunny who is 7 and she is my best friend so please don't feel that it is any different because your baby was a rabbit - they are truly the most amazing little creatures with such personalities and they are so affectionate. Anyone who says 'it is just a rabbit' has obviously never loved a rabbit. I know from experience how difficult rabbits are when they are ill and it's so hard to know when they are really poorly or just affected by a change in weather etc so be kind to yourself, you did what anyone would have done.
Your little boy is gorgeous and my heart goes out to you.
Fliss
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