BoscosMom
A couple of weeks ago, the night after Christmas, during a blizzard, I was faced with the sudden death of my 12 yr old friend/companion/four legged child....Bosco. I had brought him home at the age of 6 weeks and instantly fell in love with his smile! At the time we had a beautiful Rottie named Nitro. Nitro suffered from separation anxiety so the Vet had suggested getting him a buddy. The day we picked up Bosco, Nitro tagged along. Nitro actually picked out Bosco from the litter. Life was so happy then! Sadly, Nitro became a victim to cancer thru the yrs. His last battle took him 5 yrs ago. We unfortunately, had to make that decision to put him out of his misery. As difficult as that was, we were prepared to say goodbye. Bosco on the other hand never showed any signs of being sick. That night he passed, he was sleeping on our bed...something he enjoyed doing. He began to kick his legs violently and within 5-10 seconds he was gone! My husband and I were in shock...still am! The Vet had told us that it may had been a brain aneurysm. Due to the blizzard that night, we had to keep him with us until the next morning after we shoveled out. Seeing him wrapped up in his blanket all that night into the next morning was horrible. I try to fill my thoughts with all the good times but instead of smiling, I cry. I look at pictures to help remember the happy times but it just makes me miss him more! As of last Friday, I started to eat and sleep again. I was actually starting to feel a little better. Then Saturday morning I received a phone call from my Mom. She delivered the news that my childhood cat Magic, that lived with them for the last 18yrs, was too sick to carry on. They had made that decision to put him to sleep. I arrived just in time to say my goodbyes. I know the stroke that Magic endured was bad and it was the best thing but I still fell apart. All too familiar memories of Nitro's final day became fresh again in my mind and the pain of the recent sudden loss of Bosco added to the pain. After that moment I felt as though I began to grieve for all of them! I had a bad night last night and today I'm feeling incredibly depressed. My husband is so supportive and I know on the inside he's grieving too. I feel guilty for losing it when he's around. It's been so hard at work to put on that fake smile when on the inside the heartache is ripping me apart. I don't have children so my pets have always filled that void. I miss being a Mom to our "fur children". I know someday I will be ready to bring another home but I just don't know how to get thru this now! I've read posts on here and see how supportive everyone is. Please advise..... I just don't know what to do :(
Quote 0 0
duffypalm
I am so sorry that you've lost you're beloved pet.  I am going through a tough time also.  My sweetheart kittykat Duffy, who I've had for almost 20
of his 23 years on earth, had to be put asleep on Jan 1, 2011 because of
real bad kidney problems.  (his story is on "the sadness goes on".)

Each day is getting just a tiny bit better, but he will always be there in a
special place in my heart that is only his.  I can never really get over his loss, but somehow we'll go on with our lives, knowing that we will all be
with them forever one day.

Quote 0 0
Meghanm
I am so very sorry to hear about Bosco and your childhood cat Magic. It is really true "when it rains it pours". I am not sure I have the words that will make you feel better but please know that you don't need to put on a happy face for anyone if you do not want to. It is OK to be sad. That is something I am telling everyone and myself as well. If you ever need to talk, I am here. I am wishing you the best and I hope you can find some comfort in the happy memories of your pets.
Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
Quote 0 0
tikibarb
I am very sorry about your loss.  Our babies endear themselves into our hearts and leave a permanent paw print.  It is a very difficult thing to endure and I truly understand your pain.  The suddenness of the loss exacerbates the pain and makes it very difficult to process.  Know that you are not alone.  There are many of us who have been in the same place you are right now.  I lost my beloved Ted 7 months ago and I still think of him every day.  Most days I can think of Ted with a smile on my face but there are still times I experience great sadness.   This site has been a Gods send to me.  I am not sure how I would have made it through the darkest days without it.  Here you will find kindness and understanding.  You will be able to talk about anything you need to without anyone judging you.  We are here for you.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
Quote 0 0
judylinn

I agree with all that was said. And I'm so sorry for the loss of Bosco, and Magic. you can come here anytime you need support. we will be here to listen. Judy

Quote 0 0
BoscosMom
Thank-you everyone for your kind words and support. It's so reassuring to know that they are people out there feeling the same way and understand. I'm taking it one day at a time. I still feel very angry inside. I replay that last night over and over again in my head. It's a memory that I pray will fade! I'm thankful that at least he passed in our arms and he wasn't alone. I just can't get the question of "WHY" out of my thoughts. I know in time it will get easier to get thru the days. I went thru this before with my dog Nitro and it took months before I could think of him without crying. It's just been so hard these last few days after losing my cat Magic just 2 weeks after Bosco. I like to think that they're together now with Nitro waiting at Rainbows Bridge. I just miss them so much!
Quote 0 0
duffypalm
Thank you for the reply about my kitty Duffy.  I believe that Bosco was
giving you a sign that he's okay, just like the birds did for Duffy.  I hope so much that there can be more smiles than tears someday.  They touch us in so many ways that people can't.  

From what I have read about other people's stories, I know we're not alone.  People I've talked to tell me how they still have problems dealing with the
loss of pets that they had to let go years ago.  The pain is so hard to deal
with, but I sure hope that it won't be as bad in time.  I may one day get
another kitty, but I need to mourn the loss of Duffy for awhile yet.  I believe
that we will all see our pets again forever.  I hope that the loss of our
sweethearts can someday be easier to deal with.
Quote 0 0
duffypalm
I hope that things are going good for you boscos mom.  It has been just under 2 weeks since my kitty Duffy went to heaven.  There seem to be so many ups and downs every day.  One minute I'm so thankful for all the times
that we have had together, another minute it can be so lonely.  I know he is in a much better place healthy and happy, but I sure wish that they never had to leave us.  The grief seems to sometimes subside a little, and then it
comes back again.

The pictures that I also have around the house of Duffy really seem to help.  I still say Hi to him every time I walk into the house.  Hopefully they can
send us an occasional sign that they are okay.  The birds really helped us
feel that Duffy is okay, but hopefully there can be additional signs for him.

I look so forward to seeing Duffy again in heaven and hope that all of us can
see our furry babies again forever.

Hugs

Quote 0 0