LexiRescuedMe Show full post »
Kasey... I'm so sorry for your loss, I can truly relate to your loss my dog Maverick also died from a heart attack 3 months ago each day goes by without him is worse than the day before... However this forum is the only place that helps my sanity. You amazing person you saved her life from the shelter & your dog "knew it"!! You & Lexi were meant to be... You related when you first met Lexi how she sat right next to you / leaning on you, "love at first sight" you were the "chosen one". Bet your bonding immediate & easiest relationship you've ever had. Your thoughts, feelings and experiences are very similar to mine; How your dog do did so much for you, living the dream... Dog had more car rides Didn't leave town for years, unless my dog could attend. My dog also cried, screamed out loud when he saw me & my heart melted each time. Our dogs were the same age, 9yrs What if I got him to the vet immediately Should have seen this coming, I blew it Did he have the right medication Guilt of not being able to save dogs life CPR failed, dying in my / your arms. Completely broken, pain won't subside I'm so envious to other people when I see them enjoying the day with their dogs, if they only knew how lucky they are... My thoughts are with you, Wendy Lost w/you Maverick, please come back to me....
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I can very much relate to your story. My pooch though was very elderly. I struggle sometimes with discussing age related matters here because so many pet parents on this site have pets that pass at a seemingly young age, so I know the age thing is a very sensitive topic. However, with that said, another struggle with age related matters is the ease of this part of the process for us who really care about our pet kids. I sometimes wonder how many people would feel if they got what they wished for. It's wonderful for a pet to live to ten or twenty, etc., but for us humans, who live to seventy or eighty, etc., it becomes just a number game that we can never be satisfied with. Does an extra year really matter to us, or to them? Not sure. Do statistics matter outside of comparisons to other peoples' pets who may not have lived as long? Still not sure. I'm not going to leave a response here giving advice because I'm suffering too, for months. I will however say that sometimes those extra couple of years, although truly a blessing, still do pose some very unique difficulties that are associated with them. I'm going to write a topic n this site tonight discussing some of these things. What I can tell you though is that you have a lot of company here on this site, including myself, when it comes to feelings of guilt. No matter how many wonderful things we've done, sometimes just one decision or indecision can mess it all up, and then we live out the rest of our seventy or eighty years wishing that we would've went first. Up until my kid passed, I prayed that I wouldn't go first, because if I did, then it would've been worse for my kid. I hold on to that memory in order for me to survive and carry on. I went from a completely functional person to an entirely dysfunctional shell of a person. My spirit is incredibly strong, though my body has aged ten plus years over the course of these months. I'm still praying though. My advice to you is to do the same. It's also really nice to read the thoughtful encouragement that is shared by all of those who leave such kind responses.
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