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Reply with quote  #46 
JaspersMom,

Thankyou so much for your very kind words. I hope and pray that each day brings you some degree of relief no matter how small.
I'm so sorry on your three babies. I had no idea you had suffered the loss of two others before Jingles. Oh my dear how my heart is with you in prayer and thought.
Our lives become an empty void running only on pain and sorrow it seems.
For myself, everything I do and everything I see has my dear gentle Henry in the foreground. I can't even fix a cup of coffee without seeing Henry sitting there watching me, hoping he may get a kitty treat when I reach into the cupboard for sugar. He was such a sweet smart kitty. I taught him to shake hands(paws)lol.
It's very hard for me to vaccuum too because I would tell him 'Henry mommy has to vaccuum' and he would run like the wind to hide behind the curtains in the bedroom window. Now when I get it out I still tell him ..but he's not in the window anymore.😔😔
Just breaks my heart over and over having every little thing take my mind to brighter days.
In time I hope those thoughts will bring a smile instead of heartbreak. I just keep trying to remember that each day that passes is a day nearer to being with him once again, and for eternity💖☀️

This forum is a Godsend I must say. It truly does help in our darkest hours of grief and despair...full of wonderful and understanding people such as yourself.
I am so pleased and happy to talk with you JaspersMom. I hope your babies and my Henry are good buddies at the Bridge and talking excitedly about waiting for their Mommies to join them once more.

Love and Prayers,
Carol


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Reply with quote  #47 
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Originally Posted by 155
JaspersMom,

Thankyou so much for your very kind words. I hope and pray that each day brings you some degree of relief no matter how small.
I'm so sorry on your three babies. I had no idea you had suffered the loss of two others before Jingles. Oh my dear how my heart is with you in prayer and thought.
Our lives become an empty void running only on pain and sorrow it seems.
For myself, everything I do and everything I see has my dear gentle Henry in the foreground. I can't even fix a cup of coffee without seeing Henry sitting there watching me, hoping he may get a kitty treat when I reach into the cupboard for sugar. He was such a sweet smart kitty. I taught him to shake hands(paws)lol.
It's very hard for me to vaccuum too because I would tell him 'Henry mommy has to vaccuum' and he would run like the wind to hide behind the curtains in the bedroom window. Now when I get it out I still tell him ..but he's not in the window anymore.😔😔
Just breaks my heart over and over having every little thing take my mind to brighter days.
In time I hope those thoughts will bring a smile instead of heartbreak. I just keep trying to remember that each day that passes is a day nearer to being with him once again, and for eternity💖☀️

This forum is a Godsend I must say. It truly does help in our darkest hours of grief and despair...full of wonderful and understanding people such as yourself.
I am so pleased and happy to talk with you JaspersMom. I hope your babies and my Henry are good buddies at the Bridge and talking excitedly about waiting for their Mommies to join them once more.

Love and Prayers,
Carol



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Reply with quote  #48 
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Originally Posted by 155
JaspersMom,

Thankyou so much for your very kind words. I hope and pray that each day brings you some degree of relief no matter how small.
I'm so sorry on your three babies. I had no idea you had suffered the loss of two others before Jingles. Oh my dear how my heart is with you in prayer and thought.
Our lives become an empty void running only on pain and sorrow it seems.
For myself, everything I do and everything I see has my dear gentle Henry in the foreground. I can't even fix a cup of coffee without seeing Henry sitting there watching me, hoping he may get a kitty treat when I reach into the cupboard for sugar. He was such a sweet smart kitty. I taught him to shake hands(paws)lol.
It's very hard for me to vaccuum too because I would tell him 'Henry mommy has to vaccuum' and he would run like the wind to hide behind the curtains in the bedroom window. Now when I get it out I still tell him ..but he's not in the window anymore.😔😔
Just breaks my heart over and over having every little thing take my mind to brighter days.
In time I hope those thoughts will bring a smile instead of heartbreak. I just keep trying to remember that each day that passes is a day nearer to being with him once again, and for eternity💖☀️

This forum is a Godsend I must say. It truly does help in our darkest hours of grief and despair...full of wonderful and understanding people such as yourself.
I am so pleased and happy to talk with you JaspersMom. I hope your babies and my Henry are good buddies at the Bridge and talking excitedly about waiting for their Mommies to join them once more.

Love and Prayers,
Carol




Dear Carol,
Thank you so very much for your very kind and sweet words which mean so much to me. I can only hope that each day that passes by brings me some relief from the sadness and sorrow, and I so wish the same for you. I so appreciate your thoughts and prayers, as I need them now more than ever before. I also feel such comfort when I realize that each day that passes by, brings me one day closer to my babies. You are so right that this forum is a Godsend in every sense of the word. I can come here and read the stories, and the wonderful replies filled with such compassion and understanding, and for just a few moments, I do not feel so all alone.

Your baby Henry sounds so sweet with such a sparkling personality. I can just imagine him watching you and waiting for a treat as you make coffee. I can just picture him running like the wind behind the curtains in the window when you start to vacuum. That is so cute how you taught your sweet little boy to shake paws, how absolutely adorable. I know how much you must miss him. When Jingles was younger, he used to fetch those little plastic milk rings. I could buy him the best of toys, but the rings off of the milk were always his favorite to fetch and bat around with that dear little paw of his. Even though my Jingles was older, he would often almost run to meet me in the evenings when I would come home from work. He would love to lay on top of me at night, and I miss that little bit of weight on me, as he had lost some weight over the last few years, and was not as big as a minute. He would purr ever so softly at times, and I would always hate to have to get up and disturb him. I could have laid like that with him forever. 

I am so thankful and happy to talk to you Carol, and I want to let you know that your words have given me such hope in my heart. I am so sorry for the hurt and pain you are going through, but I thank you so much for reaching out to me, and helping me, in the midst of your own grief and sadness. I do dread waking up in the morning, because he is not here, I do dread going to bed at night, because he is not here, and I do dread coming home from work in the evenings, because he is not here. It used to be that I could not wait to come home. to be with him. It is unfathomable and unbelievable to me still that he is not here, as we have not been separated in seventeen years.

I can imagine you are right, and that my Jingles and your Henry are best of friends right now. I am sure they are playing together, and telling everyone about their mommies, and how much they are loved. I am sure they are so happy and content because they know that this separation is only temporary, and we will all be together again one day. I so want to remember the bright and shiny days, the happy and joyful moments, instead of the last hour of struggle, which keeps replaying itself over and over again in my mind. His life was not that last hour, but those 17 precious years, filled with such sweetness and light. Thank you again Carol for your lovely post and for your warm and wonderful words which have given me such hope to hold onto to keep going. I will be keeping you and your Henry in my thoughts and prayers always. I am so grateful for your kindness, your understanding, and most of all for your friendship. Your words are like a lighthouse in the raging storm for me. Please let me know how you are doing. Hugs to you my sweet friend, JaspersMom



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Reply with quote  #49 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey15
Hi JaspersMom,
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I agree with you about leaving Jingles’ food and water dishes out. You need to do whatever gets you through this terrible time. I remember putting Bailey’s favourite bed away, only to take it out again because it made me feel better.
I do think that you will feel better when you get Jingles back at home with you. You’ve mentioned his paw print and a lock of his fur. You may want to start working on a box for Jingles. You can place his fur, paw print, favorite toy, pictures, etc. in it just to have him right there anytime you want to feel even closer but ~ it has to be whatever feels right for you.
When you think of Jingles last hour try and remember that he was so comforted to be in your arms. Bailey laid with his little head in my hand so I literally felt him leave after the vet put the neede in. Sometimes it bothers me but then I realize that he was right where he wanted to be when he left.
I’m so glad you liked the kitty picture and poem. Somehow it reminded me of you and Jingles. I do believe we will see them again; Jasper, PT, Jingles, Bailey and all of their friends and I enjoyed the poem as well.
It’s getting late here but I wanted to check in.. I know this is such a pain filled time for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Your friend, MJ


Dear MJ,
Thank you so much for thinking about me. I do think that you are right when you say that I may feel better when I have Jingles back home with me. That is such a lovely idea for me to start working on a box for my boy. Setting up a memorial for him so to speak with his pictures, paw print, favorite toy and such is really a wonderful way to honor him and it is so healing. Doing these things in remembrance of him will be so therapeutic and will certainly give me a peace and calm within my heart. The only time I feel the sadness subside somewhat is when I am reading or writing to and about my beautiful boy on this forum. I do not want this grief to consume me, and my Jingles would so not want that for me.  

When I think of Jingles last hour, I will try to remember that he was so comforted to be in my arms. Aww that is so sweet but so sad, how your Bailey laid his little head in your hand so that you were able to literally feel him leave. That is so true that Bailey was right where he wanted to be when he found his light, as was my Jingles. I know how much you must miss your sweet boy. I remember wrapping a soft towel around my boy, and I held him and I rocked him. He was breathing heavily the last few moments, and he looked so scared for a few minutes, but truth be told, I am not sure he was even completely aware of what was going on.

But right before he took his last breath, he did come back to me, and he looked into my eyes, and when I told him he could go, he just seemed so at peace. It just happened so suddenly, there was no time to get him to the emergency vet. Now looking back, I am not sure it was even an hour, but it felt like forever to me, maybe it was only 20 minutes. Time just stood still for me, it was like I was on the outside looking in. He had been fine one minute, then the next minute, his dear little body was shutting down. I am so thankful that I did not come home from work and find him passed, but that he felt safe, warm, and loved in my arms.

 Thank you MJ for your sweet words and for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers, as I have never needed them more. Your posts always seem to make me feel so much better, and reading your words is helping me to find that elusive little light at the end of the tunnel. I know I will get through this, but it is going to take some time. I do know that my Jingles is so worth every single tear I shed for him, but that he would not want to see me so sad. I am so grateful for your support, encouragement, and your friendship, and once again, you have been my lighthouse in the storm. Hugs to you, JaspersMom





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Reply with quote  #50 
Hello my good friend Jasper’s Mom! I had to get here for you! You and I have traveled this well trodden path of grief together a few times. My heart is with you as if it were one of my own my friend. I’m so very sorry for the loss of another one of your precious souls, Jingles, a brave, sweet loving spirit, your comfort and light.
Loosing my Siamese, Ben, was indeed a dreadful time for me. Time dulls the intensity of pain, especially those last few days, visions and moments, It is a very traumatic thing to go through. Yet we face it with them because that’s where we should be! Jingles knew you loved him! He went to his light taking your light with him. You didn’t fail him in any way.my friend.
Sometimes I think our highly sensitive natures find a way to torture us. It’s very hard to let things be without knowing the reason. You will have your boys ashes back soon. He will be with you where he belongs. I hope you feel more peace in the days ahead, I know you love Jingles as you loved Dear Jasper and Pootang. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you! Take care my friend!
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Reply with quote  #51 
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Originally Posted by ahartofilis
Hello my good friend Jasper’s Mom! I had to get here for you! You and I have traveled this well trodden path of grief together a few times. My heart is with you as if it were one of my own my friend. I’m so very sorry for the loss of another one of your precious souls, Jingles, a brave, sweet loving spirit, your comfort and light.
Loosing my Siamese, Ben, was indeed a dreadful time for me. Time dulls the intensity of pain, especially those last few days, visions and moments, It is a very traumatic thing to go through. Yet we face it with them because that’s where we should be! Jingles knew you loved him! He went to his light taking your light with him. You didn’t fail him in any way.my friend.
Sometimes I think our highly sensitive natures find a way to torture us. It’s very hard to let things be without knowing the reason. You will have your boys ashes back soon. He will be with you where he belongs. I hope you feel more peace in the days ahead, I know you love Jingles as you loved Dear Jasper and Pootang. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you! Take care my friend!


Dear Andrea,
Thank you so much for coming to the forum, and for your beautiful and caring words of sympathy and understanding. Your coming here, and writing this lovely post truly means the world to me. Yes it is true, we have traveled this well trodden path of grief together a few times, and it has not been an easy journey, but we did make it through to the other side a few times, when I did not think that was possible. We are kindred souls united in our grief, sadness, friendship, and hope in knowing that we have made it through the darkness and the pain before, and just maybe I will be able to make it through again. I was just doing so well. The dark cloak of sadness had lifted for both my Jasper and my Pootie Tang, and I was focused on my Jingles, and making a new life for ourselves in our new home. But no matter when the angels called him home, I know that I would always want more time, one more moment, one more hour, one more day. 

I used to have to be strong for the ones left behind, now the one who is left behind is me. I know I am in the very early days, and I cannot expect to feel anything but how I am feeling right now, which is totally and absolutely broken. I know that losing your Siamese kitty Ben must have been such a devastating time for you, but you did come through it. You are so right when you say that it is such a traumatic thing to go through, truer words were never spoken. Just holding my sweet boy, and watching death take him away from me, is something my worst nightmares are made of. I am grateful though that I was home and holding him in my arms, because as devastating as it was, I can take the heartache, as long as he knew he was safe and loved, and I have no doubt of that. The instant replay of those last few moments is becoming less frequent. Those first few days were just horrible, and those images would come into my mind over and over again. Maybe the healing has begun, I can only hope so. I still can feel him all around me, he is so close, yet so far away.

Thank you with all of my heart Andrea for your beautiful words that I did not fail my Jingles, and that he went to his light, taking my light with him. What amazing and healing words those are my dear friend, and just what I needed to hear tonight. I am sure that my sadness will ease a bit when I have my Jingle's ashes back home with me. I also am going to receive his paw print and a lock of his fur, and I plan on buying a locket soon with his picture in it, so I will carry him close to my heart always. These little memorials and remembrances of them are so very important for us, I do believe. I know my sweet baby does not need it, but I do. When our loved ones pass, we always seem to have memorial services and it is a way of celebrating their life, and saying goodbye. We do not do this for pets as often, but I believe that we should. I mean how can they be here one moment, then gone the next, and the world just keeps going, I will never understand that. I want to celebrate his life, and let the whole world know of his sweetness and light, and how much he mattered. and how he always kept me going, through the sunshine and the rain.

Yes it is true that our highly sensitive natures sometimes find ways to torture us, be it the instant replay of the struggle, or that awful word guilt. I have always been a very sensitive person and feel things so deeply. No matter how much we love our dear little ones, no matter how much tender loving care we gave to them, no matter how we would have traded places with them in a heartbeat, there will always be that little doubt inside of us telling us that we could have done things differently. Deep down inside, I do know that I did the very best I could for my Jingles, and most important of all, I know he knew how much he was and is loved. I suppose that when all is said and done, feeling loved and cherished is what we can hope to send them to their light with, nothing else matters quite as much. Maybe I shouldn't have moved, maybe I should have taken him for more blood testing, maybe I should have tried a different type of food, and on and on it goes, it is those conflicting thoughts that try to steal away the joy of our sweet memories together. The should have, could have is an awful thing. Bottom line is, for 17 years, he knew I loved him with all of my heart and all of my soul, and that is really all that matters.

I still talk to him everyday and it just helps me to feel close and connected to him. I have often written that the bond cannot be broken, and I totally believe that. I remember feeling so scared that after my dear Jasper passed, that the bond we shared would fade, and the memories would become distant. Well he is as close to me now, as when he was physically here. And the same goes for my sweet PT, I can still feel my little pocket kitty so very close. So I do understand that no time or distance could ever keep us apart. I just miss my Jingles so much. He was always my little energizer bunny, he just kept going and going, but now I know he kept going for me. It was so terrible when I saw him struggling to breathe, so that is when I told him he could go, and that he was my best boy ever, and to wait for me on the other side. I know he heard me, and I know he understood. After I said that, he finally closed his eyes, and he looked so peaceful. That is one thing about loving someone so much, sometimes we have to love them enough to let them go. Sometimes we have to help them find their light, then we are left in the darkness. I just miss him so much, more than words could ever say. I just don't know how to exist in a world where he doesn't. I just don't know how to live without him.

Thank you again Andrea for your heartfelt words so filled with warmth and compassion. You always know just what to say to help me stay strong, and find hope, and be as brave as my dear little kitty was. I so want to be able to celebrate his life, instead of mourn his death. I know I will not always feel this way, and one day I will even be able to look at his pictures without crying. One day I will be able to say his name without my heart breaking all over again. One day, but not quite yet. I thank you for being so sweet, so caring, and such a wonderful and special friend, and I just know my Jingles is looking down from the Heavens, and thanks you too, for being so good and so sweet to his mom. Thank you for being there for me, and for helping all of these broken pieces of my heart come back together again. Once again, you are truly my lighthouse in the storm. Hugs, JaspersMom



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Reply with quote  #52 
Hello, JaspersMom. I’m so sorry for your loss. Our cat Mollie, who was also 17 had to be put down four days ago. I’m not one to talk much, but this forum has at least shown me that I am not the only one feeling so much grief and despair over their pet. I hope things get better for you in time.
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Reply with quote  #53 
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Originally Posted by MarkC
Hello, JaspersMom. I’m so sorry for your loss. Our cat Mollie, who was also 17 had to be put down four days ago. I’m not one to talk much, but this forum has at least shown me that I am not the only one feeling so much grief and despair over their pet. I hope things get better for you in time.


Dear Mark,
Thank you so much for your kind words, and for reaching out to me in the midst of your own sadness and grief. I am so very sorry that you had to say goodbye to your Mollie. Your sweet girl and my boy Jingles were both 17 years old, so I know you really can understand how it feels to lose someone so precious, that has been such a big part of your life for so long. It is just so difficult and it feels so wrong. When I wake up in the morning, he is not here, when I go to bed at night, he is not here, when I come home from work, he is not here. He is not here, and it feels so bad, and it feels so wrong.

I miss him more than words could ever say, and I know how much you must miss your Mollie.  You are most definitely not the only one feeling so much sorrow and despair over a beloved pet. They are our babies, and they are part of our family, and when they leave, they take a little bit of our hearts with them. I wish I had the words to help ease your sadness, but I can hardly keep going myself. I keep trying to keep hope and faith in my heart, as I know that is what my Jingles would have wanted.

I am just trying to stop replaying his last moments in my mind. I want so badly to remember our wonderful and happy times together, instead of the last moments of struggle. Maybe it is the mind's way of processing it by going over and over it again. I am just glad that it is starting to subside, and I am seeing bits and pieces in my mind of our bright and shiny days together. I suppose that we just need to take one step at a time and keep walking, and keep moving forward with hope in out heart, but it is just so hard, especially when they have been with us for so long.

Thank you again for your kind words of sympathy and support, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for comfort and healing. Try to remember that it won't always be like this, that is what I keep telling myself. We have had our beautiful kitties for seventeen years, and they have been such a vital and important part of our lives. They have been the little light and love of our lives, so no wonder we are hurting. This is definitely going to take some time. Take care, stay strong, and always remember that your Mollie knew and knows how much she is loved. That is what is most important of all when they go to the light. One day you will be able to celebrate your Mollie's life, just as I will my Jingles. My thoughts are with you for brighter days ahead filled with the special memories of your beautiful girl.  Hugs, JaspersMom

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Reply with quote  #54 
I thought I would share a picture of my sweet boy Jingles. I can still feel him all around me, but I cannot reach out and touch him. I just don't know how to exist in a world that he is not in. It has been nine days, and I cannot fathom going through years like this. I would give anything for a sign from my dear little one to let me know he is safe, and that he made it to the light. I still worry about him and I always will, after all, I am his mom, and he will always be the little love of my life. I hope he can still feel my love for him even now, as I know he is only a breath and a heartbeat away. I miss my sweet baby more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. jingles rainbow.jpg

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Reply with quote  #55 
Hi JaspersMom my friend. What a beautiful boy he is. Absolutely a little darling!
I know you are suffering a lot missing dear Jingles. I know words don't mean too much when you are in such despair and distress but maybe it's not the words so much as just knowing there are people here for you. We all know what you're going through and want to offer support and comfort. You are not alone. We are right here for you feeling our own pain as well as yours and praying for your baby that he is well and happy on the other side and most importantly that you will be reunited one day and it will be for eternity.
You MUST watch for signs. I had a huge sign from my Henry one Sunday where a stationary object in my house actually moved. No wind, no draft, no doors or window open. There was no way on the face of the earth it could possibly do that . It actually startled me at first.. and then I realized it was him. The very next day 2 more signs . Not as prevalent as the first one but they were definetly Henry's doing.

It's so hard to cope ..I know my dear. But once you get past the RAW pain, there comes a light of relief and hope. You have to be strong and give it time to get to that point. Try not to get rundown and try to keep as busy as possible. And above all know that your little boy would find joy in seeing you doing better.


Your friend always
Carol
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Originally Posted by 155
Hi JaspersMom my friend. What a beautiful boy he is. Absolutely a little darling!
I know you are suffering a lot missing dear Jingles. I know words don't mean too much when you are in such despair and distress but maybe it's not the words so much as just knowing there are people here for you. We all know what you're going through and want to offer support and comfort. You are not alone. We are right here for you feeling our own pain as well as yours and praying for your baby that he is well and happy on the other side and most importantly that you will be reunited one day and it will be for eternity.
You MUST watch for signs. I had a huge sign from my Henry one Sunday where a stationary object in my house actually moved. No wind, no draft, no doors or window open. There was no way on the face of the earth it could possibly do that . It actually startled me at first.. and then I realized it was him. The very next day 2 more signs . Not as prevalent as the first one but they were definetly Henry's doing.

It's so hard to cope ..I know my dear. But once you get past the RAW pain, there comes a light of relief and hope. You have to be strong and give it time to get to that point. Try not to get rundown and try to keep as busy as possible. And above all know that your little boy would find joy in seeing you doing better.


Your friend always
Carol


Dear Carol,
Thank you so much for another sweet post filled with such wonderful words that touched my heart. I know you are in so much pain after having to say such a sad goodbye to your Henry, and I so appreciate you thinking about me and my boy. I really do know I am not alone, and that so many are with me in spirit and praying for my comfort and peace, as I am for them, and of course, for you. Your reaching out to me at this time just means so much to me, and when I come here to this forum, and read the stories, I feel such a calm come over me. It is like this is my refuge from the storm. The forum has truly been a Godsend for me, and my friends here seem to be angel sent.

I am waiting for a sign from my baby. After Jasper passed, the very first night I was laying in my bed, sobbing and totally wracked with grief. All of a sudden, I felt him jump up on the bed right beside me, and not only did I feel it and hear it, I saw the sheets ripple a bit, as his dear paws made contact with the sheet. I could not believe my eyes, and I was fully awake and in tune with my surroundings, but never have I felt such relief from the despair, because I know that he was letting me know he was safe, and that he would always be with me. I felt his presence so strongly, I know he was there, and even though I could not see him with my eyes, I could feel him with my heart.

I have heard sometimes that our deep and strong emotions of grief and sorrow can sometimes prevent them from coming through. Well apparently that is not true, because my Jasper made it through, and he let me know loud and clear that he was there. There was no absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was him. I also had a lovely dream about him, where I was searching for him, calling his name over and over, and I finally found him, and he was laying in the sunshine, looking so healthy and vibrant, and I ran to him and reached out my hand to touch him, and then sadly, I woke up. Suffice it to say, I so did not want to wake up, but when I did, I felt so refreshed, and so ready to carry on with hope in my heart.

 Now I sit here and wait, and hope, and pray. But I have heard nothing, and I have felt nothing, it is like absolute silence, and absolute nothingness. I know it has not even been two weeks, so maybe I am expecting too much. I have always believed that our beloved pets can send us signs, but you are so right that we have to watch for them. So many times we may have received one without even knowing it. So if and whenever he is ready, I will be here waiting patiently, and I will always remain open and aware.

I was so happy to read about your signs from Henry, how absolutely wonderful and amazing. I went back and read your post about the artificial tree plant moving, that he always liked to play with, and how there was no wind or draft to cause that to happen. He was right there with you, letting you know he was just fine. That must have given you such peace in your heart, to know that he had found his way back to you. Then I heard that you had two other signs from his as well, how joyful you must have been to know that he is still so close and watching over you. He made his way back to you, and I could not be happier for you. I am going to purchase a book soon which I heard is very comforting called  "Signs from Pets in the Afterlife",  just so I will be able to  stay receptive and aware.

You are so right that I just have to get past this raw pain, and that my Jingles would so not want to see me so sad. I want to make him proud of him, and I want to be strong and brave, just like he was and is. I have to give it time and get to the point when I do not feel this cloak of sadness around me, but instead feel the sweetness and light that he gave me every single day, every single moment. I am not there yet, but I am trying so hard.

Thank you again Carol, your beautiful words have lifted me up and made me smile. Just imagining that tree plant moving and swaying, and your dear little Henry playing with the branches, letting you know he will always be with you, just warmed my heart and soul. I am so ready for my sweet boy to let me know he made it to the light okay, but I just know he will when he is ready. I know that it has to be his  timetable, not mine, and they always seem to have perfect timing. Thank you for keeping my baby in your thoughts and prayers, that he is safe and happy on the other side, I cannot tell you how much that means to me. You have made me feel so much better, and I am so grateful for your friendship. You are so very kind, thank you for being there, and my Jingles thanks you too, for being so good to his mom. Hugs to you and your little angel Henry, JaspersMom

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MarkC

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Reply with quote  #57 
He was a beautiful cat, JaspersMom. I think sharing pictures can help give some comfort. I’ve been looking at photos and videos of my Mollie constantly since she passed.
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Reply with quote  #58 
JaspersMom,
My goodness your posts always bring tears to my eyes. Tears of the pain you are now going through and of the pain you've been through in the past and tears of your kindness and warmness in responses.
Your kitties all had a wonderful Mommy that's for sure!
I'm so sorry though because I had forgotten you had told me about a sign from Jasper after he passed... how you felt him jump onto the bed and the ripples in the sheet. That would be the most amazing ever!
I have no books on the afterlife of pets however I did email an ' animal communicator'. She has a practise and one on one in person communication sessions, but she also answers emails . Many people might scoff but at this point after Henry's visit, I'm not one of those people.
I was concerned as to what form we meet our deceased pets on the other side. I wasn't sure if it would be in spirit form or 'in the flesh' so to speak. Heck, I want Henry to be the real deal so I could kiss and hug him and pick him up and hold him.
She told me he would be in physical form so that was a relief lol.
You take good care of yourself. You have been through so much. The forum truly is a great place and it draws you to it's all encompassing warmth and understanding.

HUGS as always..
Carol

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Reply with quote  #59 
Jaspers Mom,
            Your words couldn't be any more true!" We help them to find their light, as we are left in darkness." Sometimes it does seem like there is a lot of darkness where our precious babies once were. I know how hard the loss of Jingles must be for you. He was your flame taking you into a new life, your last lovely kitty, you love and reassurance. That's what Ben was for me. He was with me when I lost Coco, when I lost Vadie, when I lost my Mom, my 28 year old Nephew. Ben was the most courageous cat ever. He stood up to the paws swiping and intimidation of two big dogs to be by my side, and he was, to the very end.
             My guilt was tremendous my friend. I should have seen signs of his failing health sooner. I should have had the funds to get the tests needed. I thought he would pull through as he did in the past. I know you feel all these things about Jingles. Yet you are facing it and I firmly believe in facing grief, no matter how painful it may be. This forum was my savior and I think you know that. Loosing my special girl Coco was the most devastating time of death dealing grief ever!  Being here, in this loving place was the best thing for me. The thing is, as we know, guilt only serves to delay healing and can complicate grief on many levels. Its so imperative to deal with the guilt early and I know you are. I am so sorry Jaspers Mom. I can tell you not to feel guilty but it is normal and part of the process. Its one of the hardest things to move beyond. Being here helps a lot with that. 
         I totally agree in doing things to keep our special ones close to us. I have Bens ashes in the dining room. Can you believe I still haven't brought him into my bedroom to be near me and Coco? I still feel that I cant totally accept him that way, as ashes. Sometimes I think it does take longer as we get older and face yet another loss. You are in my prayers and thoughts friend. I know I will face more loss in the future with Rudy and Lola. I cant even imagine. My dogs are such a big part of my life and heart. I do feel that God has his timing, his reasons for how things happen in life. Please let this comfort you my friend. Jingles is wrapped in his loving arms now. Having faith is believing in what we cannot see. It is so difficult isn't it? Hugs to you my friend.
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Originally Posted by MarkC
He was a beautiful cat, JaspersMom. I think sharing pictures can help give some comfort. I’ve been looking at photos and videos of my Mollie constantly since she passed.


Dear Mark,
Thank you so much for your kind words about my Jingles, he was and is my beautiful boy. I agree with you that sharing pictures can give some comfort. It is like showing the world how precious and dear your beloved pet was, and how much they mattered, and what a difference they made in you life. I know how much you miss your Mollie. As I have said before, 17 years is a long time to have our precious little ones here, and then one day they are gone. I know they will always live on in our hearts and memories, but I don't want these memories, I want him, and I know you must feel the same way about your sweet girl.

This is so hard, and I know I have heard many say this and then something happened down the line to make them change their mind, but as God is my witness, I will never have another pet again. There just comes a time when you have to protect yourself from ever feeling this hurt and pain again. I have gone through this three times in five years, and I know that I could never take another loss. I am having trouble enough just trying to function after this one. I go to work, I come home, and that is it. There is no more joy or happiness in my life, at least for now, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Thank you again for writing, and please know that I am sending your my very best wishes for comfort and peace. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will be able to find hope in your heart, and that the healing will begin. Take care, stay strong, and know that your Mollie is still so very close, and is still with you, in every way that counts. You are going to be just fine, and so will I, but this is definitely going to take some time. My heart goes out to you in the  loss of your sweet girl, and I so appreciate your support. Hugs, JaspersMom

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Pamela Lynne Crawford
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