Hello there, don't really know what to do, but ill just explain what happened.
When I was 7, I got a cat named Sams, eventhough I never really considered him a typical cat, for me it was just always my best friend. I was his favorite person and he was mine.
I knew it would be hard for him, when I moved out of the house to go to university, I thought about taking him with me, but it would have only made him sad to loose his territory and the rest of his family (my mom, dad and dog), so me and my family decided it would be best if I go without him and just come back home every couple weeks.
When I started packing all my boxes, he was already weird, either being gone for days, or sticking around me like crazy. There was also a time when he didnt eat much, but that time was over, even before I left.
So I moved out, and for about one or two weeks it was fine, my parents told him I would be back in a couple weeks and he excepted that. But then about the third week he stopped eating (not entirely, but most of the time). Everytime I came home, he ate mostly normal again. And when I left, he was missing me for a couple days, not eating and peeing into the house (even into his litterbox, which he hadnt done in years - I knew this wasnt a good sign) but then later during the week he started eating again. After a couple times of coming back home, he was really weak and stopped going outside, there were ups and downs with his health (for 12 years he was a very healthy kitty), and my mom was trying everything to get him to gain weight. He started eating again (fairly normal) after he understood the frequency in which i came home.
The last time I saw him, really scared me. He didnt come rushing towards me, like he usually did, and just slept on a chair, I kept calling his name and saying im back, but he only opened his eyes a bit and fell back asleep. He didnt even recognize me. Even after I had been home a couple days, he still didnt seem to know I was there.
After it was time for me to leave again, I couldnt wait until christmas break, when I would have 2 weeks to spend with my family. My mom said I could pamper him back to health in that time, so I was really excited.
But that never happened, because a couple days after I had gone to university again, I called my mom like everyday, but this time asking : "I am scared to ask, but how is Sams doing?" , she told me he had passed away the night before. My dad said he went outside one last time, wondering around for a couple hours, and then came home again, to die.
Eventhough he was eating again, the weak shape he was in must have made him vulnerable to sickness, which must have been to hard on his weak body to cope with. Actually its surprising how long he survived on his hunger-strike.
Well, this was now about 3 months ago (he died 7.12.17), but I still feel horrible (at first it was of guilt), now it is just the fact that I miss him so much, and just want my best friend back, I was looking forward to seeing him everytime, and now when I come home to my parents, he's just not there, and I just wait for him to scratch on the door, jump in bed with me or something like that.
The biggest joy in my life is gone ...