Chrissy
It was eight weeks on monday since losing my handsome boy Duke and the grief seems to be getting even stronger. I am having a really bad day today.  Cant stop crying.  I feel like my heart is breaking into a million pieces.  Felt really embarrassed yesterday went out for a meal with my hubbie and just burst into tears.  I feel like I'm spiraling down that slippery slope of depression and don't seem to be able to function properly.  This person is not me I am usually able to cope with anything that is thrown at me. I am dreading returning to work tomorrow after the easter break as I have a job that requires my leadership and at the moment dont feel that I can do that. My hubbie keeps saying it will get better but I am finding it really hard to believe that at the moment.  I loved my baby so much and dont know how I am ever going to move on from here.  All my beliefs I am beginning to question, I havent felt my babys presence since he passed although I did have a brief dream where he came through the living room door and then went back out again. After I lost my other rottie  I heard her tapping on the patio window as she did when she wanted to come back in from the garden, it was comforting to know she had come back to let me know she was ok. Please let your mom know that you are ok Duke as the sadness I feel inside will never  ease until I know that you are ok.  I love you baby X
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Baumert81
Have you considered seeing a therapist? Yesterday was my first time ever seeing one in my life and I was worried she was going to think I was crazy going to see her about my dog. She assured me that I am not crazy and I am perfectly normal. It will be a month on Friday since I lost my baby tragically. I thought I was slowly getting better until she told me I haven't even experienced the depression portion of my grieving. I am thankful I decided to go. She is giving me great coping skills. All of our babies went out of this world feeling a love like no other. As hard as it sounds, please try and find peace that you gave your Fur baby the best life you could and Duke still feels that love, he hasn't left your side. When you want him next to you just call his name and he will be there, in your heart.
Hogans Daddy
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JerseyNonna
Chrissy, what you are feeling as far as I think is completely normal as the 8 week mark for me was hard too and i'm just a wee bit past 12 weeks and I still have bad days.  depression...been there and for all I know might still be skating around that slope trying to avoid the fall again.  I think you will feel duke's presence around you once you get past the deep dark grief (omg been there too) as it is all part of the grieving process.  as much as we think we begin at the darkest point i'm not totally sure it's true because things get a wee bit darker a few weeks to a few months in but then it sort of lightens and we start to have "ok days" finally.  never ever apologize or feel bad for how or when your grief hits because you've gone through hell and back with duke's passing as we've all gone through with the passing of our loved friends.  duke's spirit is around you and the house because a love like the ones we shared with our fur-babies doesn't just end but passes/changes into a more spiritual love.  we all loved them to infinity and beyond, gave them the best we could and they know it and are grateful for it.  I am so grateful for the time I was allowed (though it was certainly not as long as I wished it to be) to care for my dear sweet roxie and I am now able to find peace most times when I think of her by looking into the place in my heart where she stored all the love she had for me to remember her and guard that love until we meet again.  hogans daddy was spot on in his post and they are great words to remember when we all are feeling down.  many many hugs to you sweetie
JerseyNonna
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Millie
I am very sorry for your loss of Duke. It will be heart wrenching at times. I found talking to people here, and in the chats rooms help me greatly. I found it very hard to talk to family members about my grief. I to thought I was going down hill. It will be a year soon for me and some days are better than others. I wrote a journal or on going letter to my Millie, daily, sometime 2x a day...and slowly very slowly my writings became less and less... and it helped me cope. I will love and miss her forever but at least now I can do it without crying and someday you will to. Peace and hugs.
Shari Ostrowski
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NormaT
Hi Chrissy and thanks for your earlier reply to my post.

I know what you mean about work and being able to function. I'm a professional person and I've been unable to hold back the tears sometimes when with clients who have dogs. Part of my job is going to people's homes. For the first couple of weeks after Spikes passing I just couldn't see the clients that I knew had dogs but luckily my boss was understanding.
It is clear how much Duke meant to you. I hope your work tomorrow is ok. I have actually found work is a good distraction but the worst part of the day is going home to a house that seems soulless now.
Thinking about you.

Norma
Norma 
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Evie123
Chrissy sweetheart, no need to worry about crying whenever you want to. People just see you as human and in need of a hug and conpassion, as you would feel if it were someone upset in front of you. All the lovely people above are spot on, the depression is a natural part of the grieving process and there is support out there to help us cope, like therapy, self help books and medication if needed. I am reading books about animal spirits and how to deal with pet loss at the moment and am on anti depressants but I still feel the pain as there is no magic cure. From what I've learnt we need to open ourselves up to how we're feeling and just feel and accept it. The book 'Healing pet loss' by marianne soucy offers great advice and practical steps which I have found helpful. I hope you find something to help you my friend. Sending love and hugs. Xxx
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