ThomasCatsMummy
I thought I had started to turn a corner, yesterday was the first day in the three weeks since losing Thomas that I hadn't cried.  I knew that I was still upset but thought I was starting to get over the raw, painful feeling but today and especially tonight has been horrid.  I have been crying non-stop for several hours and just want to have my baby back.  I know I can't have Thomas back, but I wish it would stop hurting quite so much.
Thomas Cat
In our lives 14/4/2009 - 18/05/2013
In our hearts forever
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harmonica
Every time you cry, it releases a little more pain, so that you heal and some sunshine will come back into your life. Just give yourself time. I hold onto my baby's blanket.  I don't care what people think. It gives me comfort, and I'm not going to wash it. If you have something of his to hold onto maybe that will help you. But i understand, as I was doing much better and then today, a wave of pain.

xoxo
Lisa
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ThomasCatsMummy
Thank you Lisa, that's a lovely way of looking at it.  I'll try to remember that each time it hurts.
Thomas Cat
In our lives 14/4/2009 - 18/05/2013
In our hearts forever
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PeteyLover
I feel for you as I'm going thru the same thing. It was May 13th I lost my boy and still all I want it to hold him again. I feel numb and like there is a hole in my most of the time, the other times I cry.  Very hard to want something so bad with all your heart and then logically think, its never going to happen. Your not alone.
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firelace
Lisa said it all. Tears release "some" pain. Thank you Lisa. It hurts so often. What I find strange is when those short periods of time of normal hit and the mind says ah ha, I am beginning to accept and something triggers another painful episode. We feel how we feel for as long as we will. It is different for each of us but the same. If that makes sense. I don't care what others think we should and should not feel when we are in pain. I care about all of you here going through the same thing as I am and helping you get through it no matter how long that might take.
RIP our beautiful shining Star. We love you and will miss you always and forever.
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Baileys_mum_01
I am sorry for all your pain.  I lost Bailey just over two weeks ago.  The first few days were really tough then I started to find a kind of peace between the tears like he was still with me.  But the last few days have been alot worse and I find myself crying to sleep at night.  The house is so empty and lonely.  Some people have said I should be moving on now.  Lisa - I do actually feel better for a little while once I have had a good cry.  I think it is because I try to keep it bottled up at work because I don't want to cry in front of the children I work with.  Then it all comes out when I get home to an empty house. 
Not many people have really mentioned Bailey at work.  At first I found it difficult to talk about him without getting upset and I think some people didn't want to upset me.  A lady I work closely with actually asked me what happened when they put him to sleep.  I was actually able to talk to her without crying.  I think she was surprised I didn't take him home with me.  I live in the UK and my garden isn't very big.  I am moving house soon and I couldn't have left him here anyway.  Bailey was cremated and I have his ashes in a casket in my living room.  I still feel he is here with me and I talk to him like I always have done.  It is just the not seeing him that is hard.  Firelace - I do understand what you mean when you say it is different for each of us but the same.  Thank you to all of you for your kind and comforting words.  It really helps that there are people here who don't judge and understand our pain.
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