I don’t know if this is part of the grieving process but has anybody else thought if the urn of your deceased pet contains the correct ashes or even if it does contain any ashes at all as my urn is sealed and I cannot help but thinking negative thoughts when I look at it is my boy actually in there and I’m now looking back when I left him in the vets when he passed how was his body treated leading up to the process of cremation as it fills me with horror the thoughts going through my head.Has his passing slowly tipped me over the edge or is this normal?

Love Runningman xx
Quote 0 0
I had exactly the same thoughts. About the ashes & how they treat her tiny body afterwards & the whole cremation process. I even became suspicious as to whether or not she had already passed when they brought her back into the room with the catheter in her paw ready for the injection. These thoughts were torturing me & I was becoming obsessive about it. My little Chihuahua weighed just under 2kilos when she passed & her ashes were placed in a small sealed plastic bag which was securely placed inside a little box which was inside a larger box. Inside was a card with her name & the date of the cremation! Seeing this almost killed me. She had an individual cremation. I looked at the company's website to see how they organised things. I didn't have reason to be suspicious & in time, the thoughts that nagged me just went away & they will with you too. You are feeling this way because you loved your boy so much but these thoughts will just go away. I don't think there is anything abnormal when it comes to grief. There is no right or wrong & no time frame for it. Our own bodies heal naturally. 

Your boy is at peace.
Please be gentle with yourself & take care.

Daisy's mummy

Quote 0 0
Thank you for your kind and compassionate reply.Yes the catheter also had me thinking as you had as he didn’t even have his eyes open when I said my goodbye so it must have been a very strong relaxant so maybe he didn’t even hear anything I said which is even worse that my boy didn’t hear my last words to him.I’ll leave it at that as I’m now balling my eyes out at that thought.

Love Runningman xx
Quote 0 0
Dear runningman,
I am sure, if you had an individual cremation, not a communal one, then the ashes of your boy are in that urn. I don't think reputable companies would try dirty tricks. They could be found out, maybe by scientific analysis, and sued.

As for how your boy was treated before he was cremated, I have noticed two vets now in my life who burst into tears when a dog was put to sleep. I know they are not all like that. Some are more practical and unemotional. But what I am saying is many of them have normal human emotions, maybe have dogs and cats of their own, and do feel it.
The likelihood that your boy was treated with respect is high. They didn't know him like you did -maybe you may have done things  differently, but I feel they do have a basic respect for the body of someone's beloved companion.

I honestly think that dark thoughts are part of the grieving process. I had them too, I remember. I suddenly started wondering -was my girl really dead when I buried her, a few hours after she had been put to sleep?
The vet had checked for the absence of a heart beat twice, with a period of time in between. But of course on that fateful morning I had a strange appreciation of "time". But he pronounced her "dead" twice before I brought her home.

Then her body remained in the car for a few hours before her grave was dug and I was ready.

But for a while I kept having horrible thoughts...."what if I'd buried her and she came back to life and couldn't breathe......woke up and suffocated to death??"

Only one thing helped me to let go of such things and that was sensing her contacts and how free, happy and full of love they were.

Another thing was..... the beautiful flowers which grew on her grave during the next few weeks. They were such glorious flowers -food for so many species of bees.

Your boy isn't a box full of ashes anyway. He is a lovely Soul in a finer dimension -as my own dog showed me.

The dark thoughts are all part of grieving I think, and are kind of to be expected. The worst thing has just happened to us, and we are deeply upset.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer

Misty's life after death:
Quote 0 0

I believe he heard every word from you.  My little boy also had a sedative and his eyes were closed, but his little ears were at full attention.  I know in my heart I was the last voice he heard.  I would bet everything that your little boy heard you as well.  It has been 6 weeks since I lost my American Eskimo boy to cancer.  Take care.
David...aka....Cody’s Dad (Cody- an amazing American Eskimo dog April 2009 - May 2020)
Quote 0 0