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JulieF
I think you will know when it is right for you.  Everyone is different.  I think it would give you something positive to focus on, but remember your other kitty is experiencing stress - although having another cat in the house might help to set things right with the dynamic.  My own girl, Roxy, is also experiencing some stress from not having Patch around.  I feel for her and am trying to shower her with love - she still looks for him.  I just think it is going to take time.  You are certainly a wonderful pet mom so any kitty you adopt will be very lucky.

In the end, you will make the best decision.  Good luck and God bless.
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Quincysmomma
Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences with adding a new pet to your families.

Julie - you are 100% right.  I've realized over the last several days that I am definitely not ready.  I am just too heartbroken and sad.  I need to take the time its going to take...however long that is. I can't even accept the reality that Quincy is never coming back yet.

Take care everyone.
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AngelsGift
Just my opinion... but the grieving process should take some time. Your loss hurt, and getting another pet just amplifies the expectation that this is a replacement and they are all special... you don’t want to put that kind of expectation on another when you haven’t processed the loss fully.
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codysmum102
AngelsGift,
I don't think I could have adopted another boy dog like Cody.  I probably would have had too many expectations for him to be a replacement but I read online somewhere that if you want to adopt another pet it is good to go with either a different type of animal or at least a different looking one.  I decided to foster kittens six weeks after Cody's passing.  It helped a lot and since Cody was a dog I had no expectations that they would ever be replacements for him.  Now that I've had them for 5 weeks I decided to adopt them.  I am just the type of person that needs to have an animal in my life.  They have helped me tremendously.  Whenever I am missing my sweet boy and am depressed I hang out with them and they can make me laugh and smile again with their funny antics.  I will never love another animal as much as my sweet boy.  He was more of a child to me than I dog.  I have had other pets and although I was sad when they passed it was nothing like the grief I experienced when Cody left.  I didn't even cry and grieve so hard with the passing of my parents.  I know my life will never be the same but since I could possibly live another 30 years I feel I am not only helping myself but other animals who need someone to love them.  Just my 2 cents.  Here is a picture of my kitties.  The orange tabby is Sadie and the calico is Sofie.     chair kitties.jpg 
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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camunki
Hi I went thru this so many times in my life and I do know its Personal when you are ready to adopt and YOU will know it. I lost my Jemma, Munki and Daizy from Jan 2015 to Oct 2016 (yes 3 pets in a 22 month period) and I thought about adopting after I lost my first girl Daizy, but I was so not ready, as I still had Munki and Jemma at home......then I lost Munki in Dec 2015 and was devastated, could not handle losing another pet.................I did end up adopting Rosalyn though in Feb 2016 about 2 1/2 mos after my Munki went to heaven and it was such a good choice for me..............I even doubted myself the week I was going to pick up my rescue, i felt guilty, I felt like i rushed things, so many things swirling in my head. Deep down I knew I was rescuing Rosalyn to love her and give her a real home and know what real love is...........it was never, ever, ever to replace my Munki...............as I took Rosalyn home I fell in love with her instantly. I still was always thinking of my Munki each and every day, yet expanding my heart o my new baby Rosalyn and giving her so much love. Our pets are Never replaced, however, our hearts are opened that much more to give love to our new pets brought into our home. That is my experience, again, the choice is yours and there is no right or wrong, go with your heart............even though my gut kept say NO don't do this a week before i was to take Rosalyn home......I am so thankful for the love we have brought eachother and I think if you keep asking yourself if the time is right, the answer will be there!! xo

Cam


 
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Moscow883

I don’t have a lot of experience in this but I would like to share my recent thoughts. We had to say goodbye to our old boy back in November, Auggi. He was the best first dog I could have ever asked for. He was completely trained and 7 years old when we got him. I had previously been afraid and/or annoyed by dogs but Auggi stole my heart and turned me into a dog lover. We got him shortly after buying our house, other than college my first time out of my parents house. It was the same year my husband and I got married, I started a new job (after ten years at my previous job) and my stepdaughter who previously was over one night during the week and every other weekend ended up moving in with us 5-6 days a week. It was a year of incredible change followed by several hard years and Auggi got me through all of it. He was my baby, the only one I didn’t have to share with another mom as I’m unable to conceive. Losing him was devastating. It still is. 

 

The house was so quiet, there was no wiggly stump when I came home from work, no contestant presence on my bad (Lupus) days. I was conflicted on getting another. My stepdaughter has depression and very high anxiety so I said we could start looking in December, only a month after losing Auggi. 

We rescued a two month old puppy, Kiri. She’s very sweet and beautiful. When I saw her picture something in my head just clicked and I knew I had to have her. I felt guilty for being so excited to have this new snuggly happy puppy. I cried each night missing my boy. The silence was gone though and that helped. 

Once she was potty trained I started pushing for another puppy. I had always hated that Auggi was alone so much of the day while we were at work. He was dog aggressive so we couldn’t get him a friend. Two weeks ago we brought home yet another two month old puppy, Jax. He’s great. He’s cuddly where Kiri was not. He plays with Kiri all the time and most of the time they curl up in the same bed at night to sleep.  The feelings of guilt were worse for me with Jax and I don’t know if it’s because he cuddles with me more or because he is a boy like Auggi. 

having both puppies has been a wonderful distraction as we are staying at home during the pandemic. It has helped lessen the stress in our house and helped our kiddo focus on happier things like ball and tug rather than wanting to hurt herself. I still feel guilty but that feeling has started to lessen. I miss Auggi terribly, more so because his “Gotcha day” is coming up next week. Tonight I started crying which led me here to this forum. The new puppies help me to not focus on him so much so yes it does help. Does it make that pain go away completely? No, absolutely not. How long will it take for me to stop crying for him? I wish I could say. 

follow your heart. If it speaks to you and say that little ball of fur needs you and you need it, listen to it. I like to think that Auggi would be happy we are giving some fur babies the love we showed him. 

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BoxerMomForever
Julie, codysmama, aww, your new kitties are so cute. I’m glad you decided to welcome them into your home. 
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Buddy_Mama
I've been wrestling with this question too. It has helped to read all of these responses; thank you all. I don't know if I'm ready to adopt again yet, but I've thought about it, and I mentioned fostering to my husband a few weeks ago (though I started sobbing before I could finish). I lost my Buddy on March 7, just over 6 weeks ago. It feels like a lifetime since then... yet also like it was just yesterday.

I still cry every single day. I feel like I haven't fully accepted that Buddy is gone. I haven't been able to do basic things like put away his empty food & water dishes or his toys - and I haven't even touched his litterbox. I can't even look at his litterbox, because when I do, I burst into tears. Like Quincysmomma, I work from home, and Buddy was my constant, all-day companion. My house is too quiet and sad, I have almost no motivation, and my grief feels even bigger due to the stress of this virus pandemic and being cooped up for weeks, which started right after Buddy died.

Even though I lost 2 cats before Buddy - both female, both lived to age 19 - I'm having a harder time now. Buddy was only 9 years old (he would have turned 10 on May 4), and until just a couple of weeks before he died, he seemed absolutely fine and healthy. My 2 previous female cats lived long lives and gradually declined with old age. So when they passed it wasn't unexpected, and I felt a little more prepared - even though I was devastated each time. But the devastation of losing Buddy feels much worse. His loss was sudden and unexpected, his life was cut short far too soon.

(I'm sure that my grief has been compounded by having lost my job a few years ago - my work from home is freelance consulting, which pays nothing like my previous full-time job - then losing my dad 18 months ago, then losing Buddy 6 weeks ago. Plus, just like Moscow883, Buddy was my baby, the only one I didn’t have to share with another mom, as I too am unable to conceive. My husband, stepkids and I adopted Buddy not long after my infertility was diagnosed, and my biological clock ran out.)

I've only ever had one cat at a time. After my first cat died, I adopted my second one just 2 months later. Then after my second cat died, I adopted Buddy 5 months later. I ache to be able to love & care for a precious 4-footed companion again; my love for Buddy feels all bottled up with no place to go. But when I start thinking about giving that love to another cat, the guilt kicks in. I know I'll adopt again at some point, but I need to make some progress in healing first.

Sorry for this very long, rambling, frequently off-topic comment. I need to come to this forum more often to express what I'm feeling.
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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BoxerMomForever
Cindy,  yes it helps to talk about it.  I too understand how you feel.  Yes healing is needed in order to move on to another.  I feel I’m getting there at 6 months but sometimes not.  My hubby definitely not there yet. We do discuss it.  I am home 24/7 so it’s harder for me, empty house.  I will wait till the time is right. But won’t consider getting another dog till this pandemic is over.  You can’t take your animals to vet like normal now.  If your cat or dog has health issues you pray all okay. I know another person whose dog got sick.  Apparently suffered a seizure, took in and you have to stay in your car.  They came out and said it passed most likely from brain tumor or hemorrhage.  So heartbreaking.  You’ll know when it is time but please don’t rush into it unless you are absolutely sure.  Hugs to you 
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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codysmum102
Boxermomforever,
It was a hard decision that's why I decided to foster first.  But after having them around it did take away some of the sadness and loneliness we were feeling since Cody was our last baby to pass and we didn't have another.  We did have Vinnie, who was a guinea pig, but he just passed away on the 11th of this month and my cat, Moneypenny passed in 2017. I think we are just the type of people that need animals in our lives and feel incomplete without them.  They will never take the place of Cody or Moneypenny but we will form a new type of bond with them.
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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