Brielle Show full post »
Samf
I think youve been my therapist, really has helped me when i talk to you :) I know the guilt is what is holding me back from healing , and i know in myself that i dont have it in me to forgive myself . And yes ive been told over and over that it wasnt my fault, But i just don't believe or accept that . I hope something changes in the future and i can forgive myself but till then i am doing the best i can. I really do appreciate your support during our journey and im very glad you are on your way and healing . xxxx
Quote 0 0
Brielle
Samf,

I'm glad I can help you in any way possible!

Past few days have been rough for me. I don't know why but all of a sudden in the middle of nowhere I get this huge rush of sadness. Wether I'm in the middle of driving my car or a eating or when a slow song starts playing on the radio or when I'm just watching t.v. Chance has been on my mind a lot this past week more then usual.

Home doesn't seem like home to me anymore since she has been gone. I dont get that happy feeling anymore when I pull up to my house. As soon as I walk into my front door I feel like my heart sinks.

I been also having a hard time sleeping. Every time this past week once I lay my head down on the pillow Chance pops right into my brain and for some reason it keeps bringing me back to the day when she passed. I remeber every single detail of that day and the night before it happened like it was yeaterday. I remember what I was wearing what I ate what I was doing and how Chance was. The night before she passed was new years eve. Me and my husband went out to a late dinner and came home to watch the ball drop on t.v. I regret every minute of it! If I knew that would have been my last final hours with my precious girl I would have never went to dinner or left her in the living room to sleep. I would have been by her side 24/7. I beat myself up for that every single day.

If I only could have a glimpse of her now and if shes really at peace or at rainbow bridge I would feel so much better. I wish she can somehow tell me that she is okay and that I did everything I could for her.

I loved and still love Chance like she was my child. My world is a lot different since she left it.

As I write this now a tear is rolling down my face.
I miss my girl so much I would do anything to rewind time.
Quote 0 0
Samf
We really are putting ourselfs thru an emotional roller coaster. I am going thru exactly the same.
I got really sad and upset in the shops the other day as i was walking around i came to the dog bed isle, it was like someone kicked me in the gut.
And when going food shopping i avoid the last 2 isles where the dog food is.
The emptiness of the house is mentally draining , the silence when you come home . Home is where the heart is , and my heart is gone.
What's your opinion on physchics, have been looking at some that say they can communicate with your lost pets. Got a bit suspicious though as i had to answer a heap of questions first , the questions asked were so much detail about Bonnie, her whole life basically , pictures of her , info about everyone who knew bonnie etc . If they were the real deal then they shouldnt need all this info .
Felt like i was getting played :(
Quote 0 0
Brielle
Samf,

Ugh food shopping is the same for me! I avoid even passing the pet aisle. When Chance first passed away and I needed to go food shopping I was in a random aisle and I just started crying. My husband had to finish the shopping for me because I just felt like a lost zombie.

At this moment a family member is getting work done in there house and asked me if I could watch there dog for 2 days and of course I said yes. She is here now at my place and though it feels nice to have a dog around it literally just breaks my heart cause it reminds me of Chance. All the routines and the way I talk to my Chance came rushing back to me while taking care of my family members dog. I was cooking dinner yesterday and the dog came into to kitchen to beg for food and I couldn't help but cry cause that's what Chance did. I even find myself slipping up and calling the dog Chance by accident.

I just miss my girl so much and I get very frustrated because I know Chance is never coming back to me!

About the psychics I'm all for it but the psychic should not be asking you anything about Bonnie before you go. Sounds like the person is a scam! I feel like a real psychic might bring you some comfort in some way. Let me know how it goes!

Xo
Quote 0 0