I was doing ok but since yesterday its been hitting me strongly that I will not get to see my macky again , i hate it when that realization hits it makes me feel very anxious and my mind feels like it will not cope .
It's not right that we have them for so long then they go , how am i supposed to live my life when macky was my in my life for over 15 years my world revoled around macky and now it's over .
I had to take my other dog hank hes 4 years old to the vet this morning for a check up , its the first time since macky left that ive gone in the vets . It was hard leading up to going i was very anxious and sad , i did it but i was looking at the last place he payed down in there and even had to go into the same room that my macky went in to last . Macky was put to sleep at home but the vet visit to the vets was hard cause it's the last place my boy went to 😓😓😓.
My family is going away in 2 weeks so I'm going to alone mostly , I'm already dreading that because my family have been my support these few weeks .
I can't go with cause i have 2 other dogs to attend to and I don't want to put them in a kennel .
Sorry i post so much it helps me writing my feelings down and the support too .
Here's another picture of my special macky my beautiful old boy
He is eating a yougurt here this was maybe a year ago when he was not to bad on his legs.
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Yogurt, eh? I had a kitty who loved Greek yogurt.
Try not to hang around by yourself too much when everyone is gone.

In my experience, my brain is not my friend when I'm feeling blue.

Good to hear you've got canine company, though.

Bertie's Daddy
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Hi yes he loved any thing dairy and its Greek yogurt in this photo hahaha he was a funny boy.
I'm glad to have my other dogs it helps i hug them harder and the first week i spooned my boy hank like I was a child ' hope that doesn't make me seem strange ' .
The break ftom everyone may help me process what to do now , i gave up alot of things the last few years to care for macky , which i don't regret at all.
Thank you for your reply
I hope your ok
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Dear Mackysmum,

I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time lately.  Everyone says that grief comes in waves, but who knew what kind of waves and how large some of them would be.  I, too, had a really hard day on Saturday for some reason.  And I'm still struggling with guilt, but a little less now.  I called Scout's vet last week to see if she could help answer some questions and at least help me understand what I could/could not have done differently. I wonder if it might help to call your vet if you still have questions about the dosage (responding to your earlier post about dosage and weight).   Though I understand that a lot of what we're going through (questioning, guilt, etc.) is how we cope with the enormity of the loss. I still don't know how to cope with that, other than taking things one day at a time, one moment at a time, letting tears come when they may.  

Be kind to yourself especially when you are alone.  I'm glad to hear that you have your dogs to spoon and hug.  My thoughts are with you. 

p.s. my kitty, Scout, loved dairy too!  Butter was his favorite, but he loved yogurt, good cheese, sour cream.  but he wasn't fond of plain milk 
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Hi sds
Thank you im sorry you had a really hard day on Saturday its so hard isn't it i had no idea it would be like this . I think I'm going nuts right now I just can't get it put of my head that macky was under dosed .
Calling my vet is a great idea thank you for suggesting that, i will call first thing tomorrow morning and ask to talk to the vet that came to my house , i feel a tad embarrassed asking though , but I need to ask or ill go crazy thinkingabout it .

I haven't had much guilt thank god other then tonight after reading the final bill , ypur right about the waves it comes like a massive stab in the heart . It feels like ive gone backwards the last 24 hours .

It's funny i think most animals love dairy ive never met a dog or cat that doesn't , my mums cat Charlie loves vanilla ice cream gunny boy he is .
Thanks for writing me I appreciate it
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