DBarg

Last Friday I had to put my 8 year old dog down. She was a mix between a Maltese/Pomeranian. Her name was Maddie. Last week my mom and I noticed she wasn't eating or drinking a lot. And she loved to lick people and I saw when she opened her mouth her tongue and gums were all white. It didn't look normal at all. We thought she might be extremely dehydrated. We did everything we could to get her to eat and drink on Thursday night when we noticed it was getting really bad. She did eat and drink a little. We got her some ice cream treat for dogs. Her and our other dog Macy (a Wheaten Terrier) both loved them. My mom had to work on Friday but told me to keep an eye on her. So I brought her upstairs into my bedroom and she fell asleep in my bed. She literally fell asleep while in my arms when she was laying on my stomach/chest. I tried to get her to eat and drink. She took like two sips of water. She did eat a biscuit. My mom made an appointment at the vet for that afternoon because I said she still wasn't looking good. So my mom came home and I had her ready. I stayed back with our other dog Macy. I'm thinking that Maddie will go to the vet and they'll give her something to help get her hydrated and maybe she's just not feeling good and they'll give her something to take to get her appetite back. My mom called from the vet and said they hooked her up to something to get her hydrated. They were running blood tests. About an hour later I find out she has extremely low red blood cell level and there was pretty much nothing they could do. She was having mini strokes while she was there. They were going to have to put her down. I've been completely devastated since Friday. We've had dogs that have been put down before but this was just completely different because up until last week she was a healthy and happy 8 year old dog.

And what makes this even harder is since last October we've pretty much been attached to each other. I was watching Hill House on Netflix and it got scary especially watching alone at night. So the next night I'm like yeah I'm bringing Maddie in my room with me. Lol. She slept in my bed while I watched Hill House. And then I started spoiling her. I would go downstairs around midnight when she woke me up to go outside and we'd get snacks. From then on she'd want to come in my room every night. I would go say good night to my mom and the dogs and the dogs slept in her bed. But every night Maddie would get up and almost follow me as I'm leaving the room and sit on the edge of the bed and whine until I took her. Last Thursday night I had my bedroom window open finally because it was cool outside and there was a nice breeze coming in and the local fest was going on and I could hear the band clearly in my room. I could hear them play "Come On Eileen" and "Living On A Prayer". And I was just laying in bed listening to that, enjoying the breeze and Maddie is curled up next to me sleeping. So yeah the past few nights I have gotten no sleep. Especially in my bedroom. I'm just finally now able to go into my bedroom and watch TV, sit on my chair, go on my laptop.

My uncle who was in the room when they put Maddie down brought over her collar on Monday. I made the mistake of picking it up and it still smells just like her. I just want to pick her up and pet her and have her curl up next to me in bed. I've struggled with depression and OCD and anxiety and I don't want this to make that worse. I was finally starting to feel better before this.

Here she is in my bed

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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear DBarg,

I am so sorry to read of your recent loss of your beloved dog Maddie. By your kind and caring words and the tone of your writing you can easily tell that you truly loved, cherished and adored Maddie.

So many of us here have also recently lost one of our beloved pet's. There are some very compassionate, loving, understanding, gracious, empathetic and wise people who post here. They have helped me through my grief, guilt, remorse and regret. I believe they can help you too, if you visit when you are up to doing so.

I too suffer from Depression, Anxiety, OCD (and PTSD.) My cat Marmalade (an orange & white Tabby cat) became my ESA (Emotional Support Animal) by accident. He was never certified, but he truly helped me through all of my issues. He made me happy. He taught me joy. He taught me how to feel grateful and blessed and to live in the moment. This little cat. He had such a profound and positive impact on my life. Like your Maddie sounds like she helped you. : )

We are both so fortunate to have known such love in our lives. I am glad that your and your family's paths crossed with Maddie's when they did and that you had 8 wonderous years together. And that she became such an important part of your family. I am sure that made Maddie happy and content. 

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
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DBarg
Thank you so much for the response. I heard about this forum on Reddit and signed up right away. 

I'm reading so many sad stories on here but it helps knowing that there are people on here who know how I'm feeling and know how to help people who are going through losses like this. 
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Yes, you are not alone. It is important to remember that at all times. We are all going through this together, even if many of us are miles apart.

James
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CK1991
I’m so sorry you lost your precious Maddy! Did the vet ever give a reason for her low blood cell level and mini strokes? It’s so sad to lose a beloved pet especially one that you’re extremely close to as you were with Maddy. I’m glad you signed up for this forum. Everyone understands the heartache you are feeling so you can write about how you feel and know that you will be understood. The picture of Maddy on your bed is so cute. I hope you write more about her. Hugs to you!
CK
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Rosanne777
We all been through the terrible time
of losing our beloved pets.

And,we will always miss them
but in time our broken hearts
do heal with each others help.

Write again letting us know
how you are doing?


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