DBarg

Last July, my 8 year old maltipom Maddie got sick very suddenly. She was completely fine and then at the beginning of the week on like a Monday she stopped eating and a few days later I noticed her gums and tongue were extremely pale. My mom took her to the vet and they ran blood work and said she had a very low red blood cell level. While she was there she started having mini-strokes. My mom had no other choice but to put her down. It was absolutely devastating. We've owned dogs before. We had a bearded collie named Molly that lived to be 13 years old. We had another dog Maggie who was an airedale that lived to be 14. But losing a dog so suddenly at only 8 years old was absolutely devastating to us.

We still had our wheaten terrier Macy. And about a month after Maddie we found a shih tzu at a pet store that we fell in love with immediately. I named her Maxine/Mad Max after the character in Stranger Things.

We were just getting used to Maddie not being here and having Maxine and Macy. And then a few weeks ago we noticed Macy was having some trouble walking up the stairs. We took her to her vet in February and he was telling us how amazed he was that at 10 years old Macy was in such great shape. So we were really concerned when she started having trouble walking up the stairs and looking like she was going to collapse. So we took her to the vet a few weeks ago, the vet said her front legs were good but her back legs weren't responding fast enough when he flipped them over. He said it could be a pinched nerve. He gave us painkillers and said don't really make her exercise a lot and let her rest. I carried her up and down the stairs and put her on and took her off of my mom's bed every night and morning. She seemed out of it but that was because of the painkillers.

Last week she stopped eating. She had actually stopped eating her regular food on a regular basis a few weeks before that. We told the vet when we brought her in and he just suggested mixing her regular food with other food. We started giving her hot dogs and turkey and chicken. She ate that up right away. Last week she wasn't even really eating that anymore. On Saturday morning, my mom noticed Macy's gums and tongue were very pale. Just like Maddie's. We called the vet and he called back later that day and we made an appointment for Monday. Sunday morning, Macy was doing really bad. Her regular vet was closed on Sunday. So we took her to the vet we take our puppy Max to because that was open. The vet ran blood tests on Macy and came in the room and said that Macy's red blood cell level was extremely low. Again, exactly like Maddie. The only difference is that the vet took an x-ray of Macy and found that Macy had leukemia. We never had Maddie get an x-ray so we don't know if that's what she had. But everything else was the same.

Unlike Maddie though, Macy still seemed fine except for the not eating. We asked the vet how long he thought Macy would live and he gave her a couple of days. She was still alert and drinking water and walking around. My mom and I talked about it and said we'd like to bring her home and have her pass away in the comfort of her own home.

My mom had work on Monday and Tuesday so most of the time I was laying in my mom's bed with Macy because that's where Macy was most comfortable. I was glad I got to spend that time with Macy. On Tuesday night we started talking about how she was still hanging in there and at this point it might be getting cruel to keep her around. She hadn't eaten anything since Saturday night. She was still drinking water though. So we talked about it and said we'd see how she was on Wednesday.

Tuesday night was extremely hard for Macy. My mom called me in her room on Wednesday morning and said she thought it was time to take Macy back to the vet. My mom took the day off of work and got an appointment at 9:30. Any doubt I had that we were making the right choice went away when I was carrying Macy outside to the car and put her down in the grass to see if she had to pee and she just collapsed. Even Tuesday night before she went to bed I took her out and she was still able to stand and pee.

I decided to go with. My mom took our other dogs Molly and Maddie and Maggie to be put down. I wanted to go with to take Macy. I went with my aunt back in 2009 to pick Macy up from the breeder's house and took her home. She slept in my bed from the first night until she was about a year old. So I just really wanted to be in there for her. And for my mom. Because from a year old until now Macy had slept in my mom's bed every night. So I knew my mom was going to be a wreck. I stayed in the room with my mom and Macy. I had my arm around my mom. We talked to Macy more, told her we loved her, told her what a great dog she was and gave her kisses. Right before they were about to do it my mom begged me to leave the room and said I didn't want to see it. So I left for about 20 seconds. The my mom said it was done and she was gone. I went back in the room to get my mom and gave Macy one last kiss. It was so hard seeing her body there knowing she was gone. Years ago (I'm 35 now) when we lived with my Grandma and Grandpa (on my mom's side), my Grandpa got sick around 2002/2003. It was slow. He was at home and hospice was coming in and that final week was just so hard to watch. I was 18 at the time. I'm the one who found him right after he passed away. This was just like that seeing Macy's body just laying there knowing a minute earlier she was alive.

My mom and I went out to the car and cried. I'm so glad she took the day off of work and we some stores are open around us (in Illinois) now so we went to Kohl's and a couple other stores to take our minds off of Macy for a little bit.

Since then I've just gone back and forth between being sad and shocked. Shocked that this happened again less than a year later to another dog of ours. A dog that seemed perfectly fine up until a few weeks ago.

All I think about is it just seems way too soon. I remember clearly going with my aunt to the breeder's house and picking Macy up. The next two days I couldn't even put her down. She was about 3 pounds. She was so cute. She was supposed to sleep in her cage in my bedroom. My mom told me not to give in and let her sleep in my bed. So the very first night I put her in her cage and shut the door and right away she let out the saddest sound. I turned around and opened the door and put her on my bed. She slept with me every night for about a year. Until we got Maddie and then they didn't want to be separated so Macy and Maddie slept in my mom's bed after that.

She was by far my favorite dog. I've loved all my dogs including my current dog Max. But Macy was just so special. I was able to train her pretty much all by myself. They say that wheaten terriers are tough to train. Macy wasn't for me. I had her giving me her paw (or I would said give me 5 or give me a high 5 and she knew what I meant) when she was just a puppy. She was the most energetic, fun, loving dog I've ever had. The first year I had to wear shoes especially during dinner at the dining room table or else Macy would be sitting underneath the table playfully biting my toes and feet.

Macy absolutely loved winter especially when it snowed. She played in the snow all the time. She was so friendly to other dogs and to people. When we first got her it was about a month after we put our dog Molly down. We still had our dog Maggie. Macy played with her a little too much. When we got Max last summer Macy found out what it was like when she was a puppy playing with Maggie. But just like Maggie, Macy put up with Max.

Anyway, I just wanted to get on here and share this. I have very bad OCD, anxiety, and depression and I'm just hoping this doesn't make it worse.

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NadiaC
Hello,
My thoughts are with you during this hard time. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. angry,devastated, sad. I lost my 13 years old fur baby may 18th to a major stroke. It was so sudden and i couldn't believe it was real. It was so hard for me to let go of her body, knowing i will never see her again. First two weeks was the hardest for me.  I kept thinking about her . Just like ur babies,mine slept in bed with me all her life. The most helpful thing for me was to keep busy. I have two other senior dog's 13.5 and 9, so i give them as much attention as i can and it helps. I have made a picture collage of my baby and hang it on the wall. I tell her good morning and goodnight. Trust me,i know how u feel.....
Please  take care of yourself during this difficult time. Give it time and your heart will heal. 
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NadiaC
Hello,
My thoughts are with you during this hard time. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. angry,devastated, sad. I lost my 13 years old fur baby may 18th to a major stroke. It was so sudden and i couldn't believe it was real. It was so hard for me to let go of her body, knowing i will never see her again. First two weeks was the hardest for me.  I kept thinking about her . Just like ur babies,mine slept in bed with me all her life. The most helpful thing for me was to keep busy. I have two other senior dog's 13.5 and 9, so i give them as much attention as i can and it helps. I have made a picture collage of my baby and hang it on the wall. I tell her good morning and goodnight. Trust me,i know how u feel.....
Please  take care of yourself during this difficult time. Give it time and your heart will heal. 
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Pecan_mom
I’m so sorry for your losses.  I know how you feel. My beautiful dr of Pecan passed away unexpectedly 11 weeks ago and I will never know what caused it.  She was happy and healthy but wasn’t herself on the evening March 19th And passed away as soon as we rushed her to the emergency.  The vet said most probably strock, aneurysm or heart attack or cancer.  She was my soulmate and I miss her so much.  I still cry everyday and since her passing was sudden I blame myself for possibly missing the signs and feel guilty.  Please take care of yourself and know that you did your best and gave you pets the best life and the most loving home.  My dog was only 9 and I am so mad that she left me so early and all the other dogs are still here.  Even though I love all the animals and I’m happy that they are here but I wish my sweet girl was still here too.  Take your time to grieve and be kind to yourself!  I’m here if you need to talk 💖🙏🏼🐾
Sp
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LaurenceReno
DeBarg:  I fully understand your sadness and depression.   I had to have my beloved little cattle dog Charly euthanized on April 30.  It has been over a month since his death and I still feel so sad and heartbroken.  The house is so silent and empty without him.  The death of a loved pet leaves a void in your heart that only time will heal.  You love a pet for 10 years and then suddenly they are gone forever.  Utterly heartbreaking!  The sadness just clings, day after day. 
Laurence
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