After having my beloved dog for 6 years I had to make the tough decisions to put him to sleep. He was perfectly healthy but he had agression issues and became dangerous to himself and others. Although he had his issues I loved him and he could be the sweetest baby. He was my ex boyfriend's dog but we lived together so I watched him grow and play until he got a bit older and started developing those issues. He ended up attacking a few times so we had to be extremely cautious but we decided to work with his issues. Eventually me and my boyfriend didn't work out so I moved out of his apartment and he kept him. One day he decided he didn't want him anymore so he threw him out. I was attached to that dog and decided I would keep him and try work with his issues of my own. He started making progress and finally was able to play with two dogs from the neighborhood with supervision of course, but evey time I though he started making progress he would end up having an agression episode. He would be so happy and things would go great for a while and then he would take some steps back. It got to the point where he tried to bite me when I tried to take him a bath(he had bit me in the past) I decided it was best to put him down. I know he didn't want to be that way. He was so sweet and full of love most times. A lot of people don't understand how I kept him so long but I really had hope he could change. I wish I could of gotten him help sooner and maybe he could be a happy normal dog still here with me. I will always love him and I miss him. I feel incredibly guilty but I just couldn't risk putting anyone around him or myself in danger any longer. I honestly don't know of I'll ever get through this. I feel like a horrible person. He deserved much better.
Anyways, After I got home yesterday from the vet after putting him down. I went to my room and sat on the floor and started throwing away old pictures and letters and stuff. Out of no where my light started flickering and turning brighter and lower than I had ever seen it, then it just went out. I don't know if it was a sign that he was there or what it meant. I don't think I can move on till I know he is happy and at peace somewhere. I light up a candle for him and wrote him a letter and put it under his candle. He thought me understating and patience that I never knew I had so much of. He gave me so much love and showed me how much love I had in me.
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I can feel your uncertainty because my family just had to put down our 3 1/2 year old malamute because he got sick within 24 hours.  His large intestine was twisted and the vet said he probably wouldn't make it through surgery.  So we decided to put him down so at least our 3 kids could get to say goodbye to him while he was still alive.  This just happened this Monday, April 27, 2020 and I sit here and wonder if we should have just given the surgery a chance.  He was still a baby and hadn't even gotten to truly live.  This isn't fair.  The vet can't even tell us how or why this happened to him.  My husband and I keep wracking our brains trying to figure out what happened.  He was perfectly fine last Friday until later that night.  He was acting a little strange.  But we took him at 8 the next morning to the vet and it seems it was all for nothing.  We had to put him down 48 hours later.  I'm really struggling right now because I did everything for him.  My heart is so broken that all I can do is cry.  I can't sleep, eat or do anything because I worry that he's lonely and sad where he is.  I wish he would give me a sign that he is alright.  Honestly, I would rather be with him than here without him.  I pray God gives me strength but I feel this pain will last forever.  
Michelle Santora
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I am sorry you had to make that difficult decision for your dog.  Unfortunately, just like humans, some animals brains become damaged and there is very little we can do.  His aggression was a mixed-up signal somewhere in his brain.  You made the right decision and I know he is in a better place where he is happy all of the time and at peace.   He knows you did everything you could for him and gave him a great life and a lot of love while he was here.  You are not a horrible person at all.  You did so much more than many other  people would have done and tried your best with him.  Sometimes things just happen - no one knows why.   I know it is hard but try not to feel guilty.  You put his needs above yours and that is what love is.

Bless you and hugs to you.    
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I believe you made the right decision. A dog with aggression issues is like a ticking time bomb and sooner or later another dog, or God forbid, a child could have been injured or worse.  That aggressivenes leaves him when he crosses the bridge. God healed him and welcomed him into his world. Now he is running thru green meadows, with cool, clean water to drink, rabbits and squirrels to chase, but never catch.  You did your best with him and at a certain point, that decision has to be made.  Trust me, he forgives you and is waiting for you on the other side. He will see you coming one day and run to greet you, his face and eyes it up with joy.
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I know the guilt you are feeling. My dog bit my little girl I'm the face last week and I had to put him down Monday. Miniature dachshund, he was 12.5 yrs old. He was sick, battled health problems for 8 years. He had some aggression, mostly territorial with food and my father. He bit my daughter out of nowhere. She didn't touch him, she wasn't jumping around. She was just talking to me. He was a special dog, more like a baby. Could never be left alone. I would get him babysitters or he would cry and not stop. I'm heartbroken. I keep praying for a sign that he understands and is okay but I don't think I've gotten it yet. 😥
Jennifer A
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I feel moved to hear what a loving, patient life you gave him. I'm so sorry for the guilt that you're feeling. When no one else would take a chance on him, you did. I'm sure he knew that.

Take comfort wherever you can. If it feels right in your heart that the flickering light was him, then trust that feeling.
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