achievegold10

Hi so I’m new to this and I was looking for somewhere to seek help for what I was feeling and found this. 

I had to put my baby down this weekend and I’m struggling. I had 13 years with copper and he had many health issues. He was on medication for his thyroid, his gallbladder, his liver, he had chronic bronchitis and was on an inhaler, and just a couple weeks ago he was hospitalized for a few days and diagnosed with diabetes. They were able to get he sugar levels stabilized so he could come home, but the trouble with diabetes is he had to eat twice a day in order to administer the insulin. I tried everything to get him to eat I cooked him various things, bought all types of fresh foods and treats and never could get him to eat enough to administer a full dose of insulin. In just a few days he was throwing up and I had to bring him to the vet. They said I could readmit him and do the same thing all over again. I was faced with the difficult decision to put him down bc I didn’t believe I would be able to get him home and eat enough. I was in the room when they put him down and I can’t get that vision out of my head, he was so happy to see me, now I’m left with guilt and regret that I made the wrong decision. I would have risked my own life for him and the fact that I chose to take his life is killing me. My life revolved around him, everything I did involved him and to not have him home is so hard, I can’t do anything without crying bc he’s suppose to be here. Anyone have advice? I don’t know how I’m going to ever get over him. I feel broken and miss him more than anything....

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claudia812

My heart aches for your loss. I went through the same as you with my 12 yr old boy cat. He was diabetic and developed anemia as well and possibly cancer. I made the hardest decision to let him go 4 days ago and he also passed in my arms purring loud because i was there as he always did. He was a happy sweet boy. I feel guilty too but the doctors keep telling me I did the right thing. We gave them a better life by letting them go. I haven’t stopped crying since he left. My house feels empty and I do too. Read the article below. It gave me comfort knowing he is in a better place playing happy and healthy. I’m sure your boy and mine are at the same place. I pray for you to receive comfort!

http://

https://imaginespirit.com/where-do-pets-go-when-they-die/

 

Claudia Cruz
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BoxerMomForever
I’m so sorry for your loss.  You were a great pet owner and did all you could.  Grieve as long as you need. Maybe do something in his memory for you.  I made a photo collage of my two girls that passed. My Lily passed almost 6 months now. It was a very difficult loss for me and my husband; we have no children. I had a deeper connection with her than my husband, I was with her 24/7. She was diagnosed with cancer last July. I started to mourn that day.  I still cry for her every day, it’s worst at night, not sure why?? This community is great here, actually helping me a great deal.  Now I’m trying to support others who are grieving just like me.  Hugs to you. 
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Quincysmomma
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss and I feel your pain...we had to make the same difficult decision for our dog, Quincy almost 1 month ago and sometimes I feel like I am drowning in my guilt.  The logical part of my brain knows that he was so sick and in pain, but my heart won't accept that.  We have no children and I work from home and our home almost doesn't feel like home anymore without him.

I definitely don't have any words of wisdom right now, but please know that everyone here understands how hard this is and please share all about your dog if you feel ready.  Hugs!
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grievingmama

@achievegold10:

I know you posted your very sad experience and loss some months ago, but I wanted to reach out because we have almost identical stories. I said goodbye to my boy of 13yrs on June 5th. Like you, he was my son and I would have done anything for him, absolutely anything, and for the past year I did just that - 100% fur-mom heroics. He also had chronic bronchitis (inhalers, pred, theophylline ++) and took liver meds, GI meds, joint med etc etc and was suddenly admitted/diagnosed with diabetes. In the end for us, it wasn't that he wouldn't eat (he was starving to death from GI malabsorption and constantly hungry, so 12hr feeding was a cruel new reality for him) it was a sudden onset of coughing blood, 1.5 weeks out of hospital for diabetes. I'm overwhelmed with guilt and grief and miss him more than words can truly express -he was my everything.From what I've learned, although diabetes is treatable, when combined with many of the chronic health issues our very senior dogs had, it can be lethal and quickly.

I posted my boys story here: https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post/guilt-amp-grief-i-said-goodbye-to-my-best-friend-of-13-yrs-10585960?pid=1311946818

I just wanted to say I feel you and I'm so sorry for your incredible loss. Thank you for sharing Coppers story and your love for him. My very best to you. xx 

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