Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 4 of 8      Prev   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   Next   »
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #46 
Samson,

I wish i could hold you one last time. Remember when the gardeners left the gate open and we didnt know it? We let both of you out and dirk immediately started barking at our neighbor who was doing yardwork. Our neighbor knocked on our door and we opened it to him holding you in his arms (you looked mighty content) and Dirk behind him barking his little head off. He said you just sat there staring at him like a sweetheart but Dirk was a jerk. You were always so sweet and caring. I love you my big boy.
0
I_Will_Love_You_Forever

Registered:
Posts: 69
Reply with quote  #47 
Dear Samson's Mom
I'm so sorry about your sudden loss of Samson. What a sweet little baby. I love the pictures. Your letters to him are beautiful. How are your coping?  Are you doing okay?  It's hard to believe they are gone. We want to hold and hug them again. We want more time with them. It's not fair when we lose them so young. I'm so sorry you are missing your little boy. It's never enough time with them. I read you still have his brother, Dirk?  For me it helps a little having 2 other dogs (1 is a brother), but I still feel his absence. It's not the same for me without him here.  I've been writing letters to my little one.

Parker was a Chihuahua-Beagle. He passed at 6, tragically. I am still devastated and it's been 4 months. I have a great amount of guilt. I know it can be true we don't know what would have happened if we made another choice, but I am totally convinced in my case if I hadn't let him go to that vet that day or ever again, and kept him home, he would be here. The thing is I didn't want him to go there in the first place. Not even to that vet. It was all a mistake that cost my dog his life. He was healthy when he went there. I have this guilt all day long. I wake up in the middle of the night and it hits me again. I cry everyday. I had my first visit with a grief counselor. I was told it wasn't my fault, but I've only been there once, so I haven't yet let go of the guilt and my pain. 

I hope you are doing better than in the beginning. They say time is a healer.  I was told writing letters to our lost loved ones is helpful. Keep writing your letters and focus on memories. I'm trying that, too. Again, I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Samson. I wish you peace and comfort. 
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #48 
Thank you for your kind words. After a few months, the pain never seems to go away. In fact, it makes me crazy that the world keeps going after such a pure soul has died. Sometimes it feels like the world should stop after our pet dies but everyone just goes on with their lives. I write letters to remember Samson and get things off my chest about Samson. I'm sure it will help you as well. I'm sure your memories are beautiful if not more beautiful than mine. We found them and we were so fortunate to be in their lives. I hope you find some peace my friend.
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #49 
Samson,

I started this paint by number when you were alive. It was a "dream" picture. A pretty house by the creek with two chairs in front and water going by. Two dogs out front. I was going to hang it in the living room. I was going to paint the dogs to look like you and Dirk. I dont think I can finish it. I've tried and end up crying and wanting to throw it out. Jake has told me to keep it. In the painting there is a dog standing in the water and a dog sitting out of the water. I chose the painting because we always wanted our own house especially with a big fenced in yard. Also, the dog in the water is Dirk and the dog on the grass is you. Dirk is so crazy. He would run off a cliff after a squirrel. You are so sensible and hated getting your paws wet. It was perfect. I stare at that painting and feel so much pain knowing I painted those colors when you were next to me or at my feet. It feels wrong to finish it. I love you Samson the sensible.

Attached Images
jpeg 20181113_190434.jpg (424.87 KB, 5 views)

0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #50 
Samson,

I've been walking with Dirk a lot. He loves it. Tries to make me go every hour Haha. I wish you were here so I can see you both run and kick your feet out on the lawn. It would have been beautiful. I love you my big boy.
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #51 
Samson,

I wish I could smell your paws. I remember the little hairs in between then. It was so cute. They grew out as you got older. You were so handsome. I miss you so much. I love you.
0
Domo

Registered:
Posts: 9
Reply with quote  #52 
I have to tell you your story brought me some comfort last night when I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about my beloved baby and read your post. I am so sorry you are going through this, but our stories sound similar. We found out Gizmo was diabetic and we put him on insulin. He was having accidents a lot and just didn’t have as much energy. We were trying to regulate his insulin. He had a seizure Monday night. He also lost his ability to keep himself up. We took him to the vet Tuesday and he lowered his insulin. That night I felt him twitch at my feet. I quickly got up and he started to seize. My husband went and got honey as we were told to give him that by the vet. He went into a horrible seizure. When he came to, he wasn’t normal. We watched him suffer from 1-8 in the morning. We were waiting for our vet to open. We had thought about going to an emergency vet, but it was out of town, we were exhausted from no sleep for 3 days, and we were honestly just at a loss. We put him down at 8. I feel awful for the pain and suffering he went through. I have a lot of guilt and I’m worried he thought we were hurting him. We tried everything we knew to do. I totally understand everything you are going through. Stay strong. But thank you for helping me cope a little better knowing someone had a similar story. I’m my heart, I know our babies knew we loved them. It’s my head that is playing mind games.
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #53 
Thank you. The letters help me get it out of my chest. If I don't let it off my chest, I become so emotional about Samson. I'm happy it helps you as well. Im sorry about Gizmo. We have regrets but they lived happy lives. I remember Samson loved kids and would try to follow them when we went on walks. Now everytime we pass a kid, it makes me smile at the memory of Samson tugging on the leash. I try to think that Samson most likely would have passed regardless of what happened. Obviously how he passed was tragic but I never regret having him in my life. I just wish I did better at the end. I know Gizmo wouldn't think that you hurt him just like Samson knows I didn't. Try writing letters even if it's in your head before bed. It helps rest my mind. I was so used to cuddling with Samson before bed. I try to think of the letters as a cuddle. It actually helps! I hope peace finds you. I'm sure Gizmo would want you to be happy. Here's a bonus picture of Samson and Dirk under my desk.

Attached Images
jpeg 20140402_033127.jpg (142.45 KB, 5 views)

0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #54 
Samson,

It has been gloomy lately. It makes me miss you. You always looked at me when it was gloomy out like I could change the weather by flipping a switch. You were so cute. Love you Samson.
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #55 
Samson,

I was really depressed today. I cried a lot. Wondered about life and why we are here. How a pure sweet soul can be torn from their family in such tragic circumstances. It was turning into a very depressing day. When I turned on YouTube and checked out the last video I have of you. It made me smile. I also saw a video of a YouTuber trying to get their chihuahua to sit for 20 mins. He looked like a smaller version of you. He is an older chihuahua and had the same coloring and patterns. It made me feel really good seeing him. I pretended it was you at an older age. His tongue stuck out cause he didn't have all of his teeth and he had lots of white hairs coming in. I kept wishing it was you. I wish you could have grown into an old dog Samson. You deserved that. I love you and I always will my big boy.
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #56 
Samson,

We walked Dirk a lot today. It was rainy but we walked between the rainy times. It was so cute watching Dirk run around. It would be complete with you. I miss having you lay next to me. You always had the best eyes. Such sweet beautiful eyes. I felt like we had whole conversations together just looking at each other. Remember when you ran off and Jake got scared and chased you. I finally caught up and he came back with you in his arms. He said you ran off to eat poop. Haha. You had a poop stained mouth and you looked really happy. What a silly dog. I bathed you and gave you a treat to help rinse your mouth. You were always so funny. I miss you and love you always. Forever.
0
Living_with_tragedy

Registered:
Posts: 132
Reply with quote  #57 
Dear Samson's mom,

How has Dirk been since Samson passed away?  Can you tell if he misses him?  My Chihuahua mix, Parker passed away and I have his brother, Porter. He has another brother, Leroy, a Beagle. I can tell they miss him. They seem quieter. Nothing's the same without Parker. He was the pack leader.  He got the party going. It's a great loss here.

I'm sorry about Samson. I've written to you before and I know what he went through. I know what you went through.  I hope you are doing better. They say time is the key to healing. It's taking me a long time, I guess I'm a slowpoke. 

If there is a Rainbow Bridge or some kind of afterlife, I hope Parker has met up with Samson and they are playing together and that someday we can hold our beloved dogs again.  Both Samson and Parker are watching over us.  Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Take care,
Parker's mom
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #58 
Parker's Mom,

Thank you for asking. You are so sweet. Dirk is very clingy. He doesn't want to be alone. He freaks out if we close him off in a room which he didn't used to before. I guess he had Samson to be with him. He licks Samsons favorite blanket a lot which I am actually trying to get him to stop. Its covered in Samsons hair and I dont want to wash it so he keeps licking little hairs. I know he misses his brother. Everytime we go out for walks, he is so excited to try to see another dog that he basically chokes himself AND he has on a harness so he is pulling so hard when he sees another dog. I usually have to pick him up or make him sit down to calm him. I am feeling guilty about not getting another dog for Dirk. He just turned 9 this last month and he is such a follower. He just wants a dog to follow, play, walk, and sleep with like he did with Samson. The thing is, I have major PTSD about that night. I am scared of Dirk going through a tragic horrible death. I love them both so much and one of them already died. I dont think my heart can stand another. I still have nightmares of Samson and I just want the best for Dirk but another dog might be too much. Have you had any similar issues? I hope you are doing well friend and thanks again for stopping by. Make sure you give the dogs a good cuddle for me :)
0
Samsonisthebestdog

Registered:
Posts: 91
Reply with quote  #59 
Melsa,

I am so sorry you had to go through that. Ending it yourselves is just as traumatizing. I also questioned if I should have done that although it didn't cross my mind that night. It is hard to accept a dog with health problems and you did. That is such a brave thing to do. I'm sure your dog lived a great life while she was with you. Thank you for helping me through this with your kind words friend. I hope you find some peace.
0
BrandonTS

Registered:
Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #60 
I feel guilty right now because our 3 year old cat just died and a stray cat was around he was not ours he just followed me home we found our 3 year old baby on the porch dead and we don't know if this stray cat killed our pet cat I feel so guilty for leaving her alone with him I was gone and couldn't get in time to save her we don't know if he killed her or anything there was no blood or missing fur on her I think there would have been if he killed her unless cats can kill another one without blood. This has been really traumatizing for me because she was only 3 and we wanted her to grow old with us we didn't think she would die before she got old. It's horrible and I know how you feel about missing your dog I feel guilt that I couldn't save my cat from her death we didn't know if that cat killed her or if something else killed her and she just died. It's just awful not knowing how she died. I hope you feel a little better and grieve properly for your dog don't regret just smile because you gave your dog a life they might not have had if you hadn't adopted them.
__________________
Brandon Tyrel Stallard
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.