lynnhec
I let a relative care for my dog when I was away and she was killed in the relative's care. The whole situation is awful but my guilt over letting her go there is overwhelming me. She had gotten loose from the relative recently but I didn't immediately go get the dog when I got back to town. The dog was killed while loose again 2 days later. Ive read the articles about guilt but I cannot get those tips to work for me. I knew there was a problem and I didn't immediately take steps to solve it. And now she's dead. I can't stop crying.
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jimmy17
I`m so very sorry, you must be heartbroken. I know you`ve read all about guilt, but we all still feel it whatever the circumstances.  Even though I had to have my dog put to sleep - and we had absolutely no choice, as he had health and age related issues - I still felt as guilty as if I`d killed him myself.   Ok, you knew there was a problem, but for whatever reason you didn`t go and get her.  Sometimes life gets in the way of things, and we end up left with all the "What ifs " What happened to your dog was one of those things we just  have no control over, so although I know you do feel guilty, really there`s no need to - life just deals us some very tough cards at times. 
  Be kind to yourself, and just take it a day at a time, and come here as often as you want - this forum helped me more than I can say, especially during the first few weeks. Everyone is so caring, even though they`re all grieving so much themselves. 
                                      Take Care, Jackie

J Taylor
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lynnhec
Jimmy--thank you for responding and your thoughts.
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Sampson
Dear lynn,
It's all about hindsight. What were the chances that your dog would get loose again in your relative's care? If you could go back to that time you would likely still think it was just a one time thing - these things happen and generally the pets are found or return themselves. I know that if you had ever thought it would happen again you would have gone to pick your dog up sooner. You need to cut your self some slack here and realize that it was just something you had no way to foresee or ever thought would happen again. An unfortunate, tragic accident. I'm also thinking your dog knew how much you loved him as it is quite obvious from your post.
I am very sorry though for your terrible loss!
S.
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elliemeewiz
I'm so sorry for your loss of him and for what happened.. please try to go easy on yourself.. this is a tragic event and he wouldn't blame you. It is going to take time for you to come to terms with this. Our beagle used to escape frequently and once was hit by a car as a pup- she had a broken tail... fortunately she learned after that to stay away from cars etc. Once she was kidnapped by two children into their tent when she was roaming but eventually my father found her... this was years ago. 
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018
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lynnhec
Thank you for responding. The hardest past is that I had a feeling I should go get her and the night before I dreamed she was hit by a car. I leek like I missed warnings that so few get. I can't stop going over it in my mind.
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elliemeewiz
Hi Lynn,


That must be so hard... you are going to go over everything for  a while.. and then the grief will numb you so that you start to feel the pain less. I have been through some traumatic losses in my life... my mom, Byron and Angie... Byron was the most horrific... I guess I just blocked it out eventually.. it was so awful. I did feel a lot of guilt for what happened to him too. You will get through this, just come here to express your feelings and take it one hour and one day at a time. Talk to your family, hug them.. go easy on yourself. If you need it get something to help you sleep. I wish I could have some wine at night but due to meds I'm on it would not be a good idea. (((((hugs))))))
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018
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EM
Lynn, I'm going through the same thing. For weeks my pooch was showing indicators that there was something awry, and at the time I did think that there was a problem. However, due to his age and my mistrust for most (not all) vets, I was reluctant to take him for a second opinion after the initial vet visit. The vet said it was arthritis and then they called with the blood test results saying they looked great. My pooch though continued to lick his belly area, balk at going out to the bathroom, and show other signs that now were indicative of his ailment. I was suspicious but felt reluctant to follow up further, other than passing it off as old age and general allergies, whilst maintaining a healthy diet. If I think rationally about it, I'm quite sure that there is nothing I could've done any different. However, I don't know that for sure, so that's why I keep suffering from guilt. In other words, regardless of the circumstances, I feel guilty and ashamed that I didn't do more. I even pretty much deduced it to the point where there is really only one thing that I could've done differently that may have given us an opportunity to correct things; but even that is more speculative than conclusive. Now with all of that said, using your situation as an example, and those of many others here on this site who've struggled through similar experiences as yourself, it seems like no matter how old or young, no matter what the circumstances, we are all here now at this point with this same kind of difficulty.
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