Mackysmum
Does anybody else have feelings of guilt if they find themselves enjoying themselves at times ?
Last night i had a good night me and my partner had date night which we had one other time since macky passed but the thing is the first date night we had i did not enjoy myself at all but last night we went out and I enjoyed myself .
Ever since I'm feeling guilty that I had a good time and it must mean I didn't really care about macky my minds playing these tricks on me .
The last week ive been dealing with guilt more then I have done since macky left , i keep questing myself if I smile or laugh or enjoy myself , my mind then tells me that I must not of really cared that macky passed or maybe I was waiting for him to pass away because he was quiet high care those last month's my heads playing on that now . Agggggg sorry I'm just doing my head in right now I have ocd so i don't no if it's ocd doing this or if it's what everyone goes though?
This is hard its like a constant battle inside my mind
As if loosing my boy wasn't hard enough
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Olgita256
Omg!! Yes... I still feel like that but not as much as b4. It’s been six months now. Just today I was speaking to him... and told him I was going to try hard to move on and be happy but that it didn’t mean I didn’t love him anymore. Been trying to adopt another puppy but feel guilt about that too. My boy was 15.5 and anyone would think that’s a long time but it’s never enough.
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Snowfire
Aww such an adorable face. No you are just beginning to heal and not wrong. I'm trying to get there but way to go. I am watching old western Laredo which was comedy too. Trying to learn to laugh again too. Happy date night. I hope to have that someday again. Just my dog and I for now and spending time with her as she misses our family member.
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Snowfire
My Timber was almost 20. Miss that wonderful cat. Just love your photo.
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Mackysmum
Olgita256
Thank you for posting back
Sorry about your boy he is just gorgeous

Omg it's terrible this guilt every time i feel good or just ok , my mind tells me im happy mackys gone and maybe the stress of the last 6 months of caring for him was to much and that's why iam happy . It's driving me crazy i loved my boy very much but my mind keeps throwing these terrible thoughts in to my head .
I'm not gonna lie it was stressful the last month's before macky passed and at times I felt so very totally overwhelmed and anxious and so scared of loosing him that now because I felt these feelings or thoughts it plays on my mind now and I feel so guilty.
I want to move on but at the same time i don't want to as i feel it would be saying to mysrlf its ok mackys gone and that I'm ok with that it feels very disloyal to him , i dont know my brains a mess .
I hope we both get to were we need to be in both our hearts and mind .
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Mackysmum
Snowfire
Thank you he was a beauty very handsome boy

Sorry you lost your little one i hope you can enjoy the simple things again soon

I do feel I'm healing which i want but don't at the same time , the guilt kicks in all the stuff that wasn't perfect before he left and now cause I'm finding myself smiling or being happy it feels plain wrong and like its ok mackys gone .
I did not think I would have guilt after macky passed , boy was I wrong its eating me up
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Mackysmum
Snowfire
I forgot to say how lovely you had your little one till 20 , a credit to the wonderful life you gave him , though no time is long enough, if only it was forever .
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Olgita256
Mackysmum.
We will heal. I still cry but I cry differently .. more like an acceptance cry. The first few months were guilt...anger ...denial cries. But I see my progress.... I think it’s crazy that we feel guilty for being ok when we’ve probably been praying and asking for peace...I like to listen to Eckhart Tolle who speaks of all living source as energy and that there is no death...not even for our precious beautiful babies!! YouTube has a video where a gentleman asks Eckhart about losing his dog. It’s really comforting to watch.

Hang in there...this too shall pass. ❤️
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