83dani19
I've been going over the last minutes with Matzi over and over again. I have intense guilt about the decision of putting him to sleep. Even though intellectually I know it was the right thing to do. He wasn't happy anymore he wasn't eating or drinking water and he was sleeping constantly. The vet said he was also developing a heart murmur. Putting him to sleep was the best decision for him the vet said. So why do I feel like I killed my baby!
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gizmomybaby
83dani19 , I know exactly how you feel , I question myself all the time did I make the right decision was it to soon , should I have nursed my baby to the end , I only watched him suffer one night and I couldnt do that to him or myself. Am in total shock still my baby boy gizmo isn't here and that's 7 weeks this week , I think its normal to feel all these feelings when wee have took that decision but it doesn't help , it's the worse feeling ever x plz know am thinking of you at this hard time xx sending you love and huggs annemaire x
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mstank
My precious kitty died Wednesday, and I have just now been able to talk about it. Madison or, as I would call her Maddy Madd, was 19, and had not really been sick. At the end of June, I thought she had developed a uti. Vet at her age, wanted to do a whole blood panel. Since that didn't show anything significant, she prescribe 2 weeks worth of antibiotics. I was then to come back in a few months to do a follow up, just to make sure at her age there were not any diseases. Just right within the timeline, Madison started acting like she didn't feel good. I took her back to the vet, and they decided to test her for diabetes Her blood sugar was 551. I understood that I would be giving her the shots twice a day. She was fine until last week. Then she stopped eating, so vet prescribed an appetite stimulant. I thought that the stimulant was going to do the trick, because she did eat. Then Sunday night came, and refused to eat, so I could not give her her shot. Same thing for Monday morning. I immediately took her to the vet. They said she would have to stay overnight and they will have to put her on iv fluids and needed to get her blood sugar to go down.The concern was that her blood sugar would not go down below 400. I came the next morning, and she just wasn't very perky. At lunchtime, I brought her favorite, Zaxby's chicken. I tore up into tiny pieces and she ate almost a whole chicken finger. I decided to come back a few hours later- thought if she ate the 1 she might like another 1. She ate half. I thought that was encouraging. Then Wednesday morning I got a phone call from the vet saying she had passed away during the night. I feel so guilty tbecause she was all alone when died. She was my precious kitty and I miss her to pieces. How do you say goodbye to a friend you've had for almost 2 decades? Oh, and yesterday I received a card from the entire vet staff, everyone but the vet she's been seeing (her main vet has been out on matenirty leave, but signed the card) signed it. Thnak you for hearing me out.
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sanjay
I have gone through this guilt and still have pangs of it from time to time.  I really do not think vets do a good job of preparing people for this.  

What has helped me is:

Concentrate on his life.  The period of illness and death is short compared to a wonderful life.

Trust your instinct, deep down, you know your cat.  The decision you made was out of love, you would not have done it if you didn't know deep down it was time.  

If your cat, like mine, stopped eating and drinking, the body was getting ready to shut down.  Is it better, in the hopes of some lucid moments with your cat, to allow her to possibly starve or dehydrate to death, have organ failure, heart attack, or seizures or have a problem breathing and dying that way? I think we know the answer.

Good luck.. It gets better....

Sanjay W
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huskiesmom
I am so sorry for the loss of your cat Matzi. I am facing the decision now as to when is the right time for my dog Lucky, and I know that even if the vet agrees that it's the right time when it happens, I will probably still feel so much guilt and think maybe there's something else I could have done. It's so hard to accept that we've done all we can when the memory is so painful.
I suppose that we can take comfort that when they pass they are free from suffering and are able to run and play again. And I believe that Matzi surely knows that you loved him and did everything you could for him. I hope you find peace with what has happened with time.
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LisaAndy
Guilt is what every one who loses a pet feels, whether or not they euthanize or the dog dies without euthanasia. This is a normal part of grieving- it is one of the stages, guilt and it hits us all right away! EVERY SINGLE post in this forum about the loss of the pet says how guilty the pet owner feels. Eiither they feel guilty for putting the dog down or they feel guilty for not doing it sooner or they feel guilty if they didn't put the dog down. So just to tell you what you are feeling is normal. It sounds to me like your dog would have died very soon after having days of feeling in a lot of pain so you helped your dog avoid those painful last days. Not eating is very painful. I also had guilt that I didn't see any other treatments for my dog, but honestly there were none. I felt helpless in that he was in pain, but i had guilt that I didn't know sooner that he was so sick. In any case we do this out of love, and don't want them to suffer because we love them so so very much.

Hugs to you, sorry you are feeling so bad and I am so very sorry for your loss

Lisa
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
I spent 2 weeks on tranquilizers for the exact same reason after I let my baby go, and am just coming out of it. I have held onto the words of the vet who put my last dog to sleep for a long time -- he said that animals aren't like humans because they are only capable of living in the moment. When humans get old and sick, some of that pain can get alleviated by looking back on the "good times" and otherwise getting their mind off of it. So, when there are no more good days for our fur babies, then the kindest thing to do is let them go. And also the hardest. I only came to terms with it after speaking with the vet who put him to sleep and getting more detailed information about what was happening to his body, and the likely horrible death that he would experience. Maybe that would be helpful once you feel you are able to talk about it. 
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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LisaAndy
That is so true what the vet said, I never thought of it like that. They live in the present and in the present they don't feel good! Also the dogs and cats can't tell us where it hurts or how much it hurts like humans can. I bet my dog would have told me weeks before that he wasn't feeling well but I didn't know.  If I had not put my dog down maybe he would have gone another horrible week or two and then would have been poisoned from within his own body.  Would he eventually die in horrible pain if left alone? I think so - even another night he would have hurt, which is why I did it right away. I still hate that it all happened the way it did though. I wish something could have been done. But I loved him too much to let him suffer one more night. I was with him his last night and he was in pain. 
It so so hard to come to terms with it ,,,we all feel so guilty and horrible. It's like a bad dream.

Also MSTank I just read your post about your dear cat. It is very sad and I'm sorry about how things went. I am sure you are in shock still. Maybe start another thread about your cat for all to read and try to help you cope. 
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Lulu_Zandersmom1
I deal with the guilt and sadness too over our rottie boy Zander.   When we got him to the vet's office on that Sunday, we got him in the building and had him to lay down on the waiting room tile floor.   I don't know if he could have walked much anyway, but somehow asking him to lay down to be put to sleep just gnaws at me.   My husband was near his head and I was petting him on the other side.   He then pulled his front leg away from the vet as she was trying to inject the anesthesia and actually bent the needle so I feel horrible that he was fighting and didn't want to go...His heart took longer to stop beating than Lulu's too.   She was gone almost immediately after the vet gave her the injection so I feel she was ready to go.  

My husband feels we did the right thing with Zander.    He didn't want him to get progressively worse and have the situation be an emergency to rush him in to be put down...   I get that and I need to remember the happy times with both our pups.   But it's hard so I get your pain.

{{hugs}}
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exburt
Dear Dan19, 
After reading your post, I have absolutely no doubt you did the right thing. I've had to make the call myself, more than once. It sucks.
Making the decision to release a pet from its suffering; it's the cruelest obligation we have as cat guardians. Again, it sucks!
But we can't duck it. We owe it to them. 
I'd like to think I had the ability to heal with words,
but there is nothing I can write that will stop you from feeling how you're feeling now. Time and tears. 
Just know that you did right by Matzi. No reservations. 
I wish you the best. I'll check in.  

Yours truly, 
Burt

B Weinstein
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