We got back the autopsy results yesterday. They said that my baby passed away because his heart was thickened. I guess normal size is less than 0.6 and my boy's was 1.1, almost double.

The vet said that the heart attack happens when the cat gets stressed and its a genetic condition that isn't preventable. It was never noticed before and the vet said that even if it had been noticed, there was nothing we could do.

The vet said my boy was going to die no matter what and that any stress could've caused it- hearing a thunderstorm, someone knocking on the door and my dogs barking, even picking him up and increasing abdominal pressure too much. But I can't help but feel like we could've had a longer amount of time with him if we never took him to the vet. Maybe the vet was too much stress and that was the end for him. What if we could've had more years? He was only 3

We originally took him to the vet for a urine issue... I guess if we hadn't he could've had a blockage and passed that way.

I just feel so guilty that it was my fault.
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Dear Milo's Mommy,

I'm so sorry that you are having a difficult time coping with your loss. It is so easy to see how much love you have for your beloved Milo.

As you may have read in one of my previous posts, or found in your own research, the average cat's life span is only 2 to 5 years (on the street or in the wild. For many reasons.) They are biologically designed and engineered to only live around that amount of time. It is true that we humans can extend their lifespans several times over, through providing them with shelter (from the weather and natural predators), regular food and fresh water, trips to the Vet's (for medication, treatment and at times surgery), and love and affection (which is important for overall wellbeing.) But sadly there are no guarantees. They can become chronically or terminally ill and pass away at anytime. For as tough and durable as our pets are, they can also be very sensitive and vulnerable. They are all "exotic" in some ways. 

The depth of the grief you are feeling and experiencing is equal to the love that Milo felt from you during all the years you were together. Which in itself was wonderous. How special must Milo have felt to know that he held such meaning in your life? All cats should be so blessed.

I send you healing wishes and prayers for swift healing and recovery. And hope that in the days ahead, whenever you think of your Milo, only your fondest and most cherished memories of Milo come to your mind.

My sincerest condolences & kindest regards,
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I’m so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel.

I’m dealing with guilt as well.  I have some ok days, some better days and some really bad days. Please don’t blame yourself.  The autopsy results clearly shows that there was nothing you could have done to prevent or save your baby.  I wish I was given an option of autopsy.  Pecan passed away as soon as we rushed her to the vet and I was in shocked to ask for one and the emergency vet never offered it either.  My sweet, beautiful and perfect soulmate passed away so fast and I don’t even know why.  She was only 9.  Please be kind to yourself and know that your dog loves you and know how much you love him. He’s right there beside you because love never dies.  

take care, 

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