MacBeansMom
I had to put my 10 1/2 year old baby to sleep a little over a week ago. He had survived cancer but the chemo destroyed his kidneys. He was doing so well in July and then suddenly...he wasn't. He was my best friend. I never felt alone because he wanted to be next to me day and night. He was the puppy I'd longed for as a little girl, but never was allowed to have. He gave life everything, every day and he gave me everything every second we were together. I am so blessed to have had him but the pain of this loss is overwhelming. Each little furry baby is a gift and when they leave us it is torture.

Today I could barely function. He was the one good thing I could always depend on. i can't bear the thought that he won't curl up under my chin each night.
Macbean's mom
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Manjack
MacBean's mom, I am so sorry for your loss and that he had to endure that horrible disease and it's treatment.

You are right, it is torture. The amount of pain we feel is proportionate to the love we have for our pets. You need to take the time now to grieve your tremendous loss.

Rosie1 posted a couple of days ago. I think the thread is called something like " I hope this helps someone". It is a recounting of an elderly person explaining to a young person how he deals with death. It is worth a read.

The road ahead in dealing with loss of your beloved dog will be long and difficult as I sense you shared a very strong bond. However the pain you feel today will change over time. I know it does not feel like that now but if you read threads posted by people whose loss is not so recent you will discover a recurring theme.

Sending you healing thoughts today.

Perhaps when you are up to it you can return and share his life with us.
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Erini
Hello there,

I know your pain, it was 3 weeks ago today that I had to put my beloved Lulu to sleep, each day gets a little easier, but you have to be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time to grieve.

I have found this forum to be so helpful, I have felt such love and support from people who know exactly what we are going through. Sometimes I just post a note to my baby girl or I have found sharing a story of hers also helps me.

Sending you strength during this difficult time.

Erini

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MacBeansMom
Thank you all for your support and kind words. MacBean was a Yorkie. From the moment he came home...he was trained so I let him sleep with me. He curled up under my chin and would sleep on my pillow. He did that every night of his life and for me..it changed my life. I have always hated having to go to sleep. Always felt alone at night and unexpectedly, I had a friend with whom to go into the realm of sleep. Going to sleep became a shared joy. He loved everyone my husband and my mother-but I was his human. He loved to play and was so full of life and mischief. He's always do funny things-like suddenly appear ON the dining room table-he could jump over or into anything! He loved to play tug of war with his baby sister--they were together from age 7 months... She is grieving too. He had a joy and exuberance that made you smile every time you looked at him
And his love was just all-encompassing. I understood him and he, me. He was my little furry soulmate .
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Ana
I am so sorry about your baby! I lost my Leo on the 13th as well. So it has been a month today. He had congestive heart failure and died in my arms. Its so hard to keep going.  I can tell how much you loved him. Like you I would just like to have my baby back even for an hour so I  could be sure  he knew how much  loved him. I am glad you found this site-so many people who understand  how hard it is. I wish I had some wise comfort to offer but I am just making it one hour at a time. You will be in my heart and prayers. Maybe Leo and McBean have met and are playing together.
                                                                                                     ~Larchana
Larchana Behrends
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MacBeansMom
Dear Ana
I hope you are doing maybe a little better? You are also in my heart and prayers. I am so very sorry for your loss. I ache for macbean. I strain to hear him sometimes.... Just wishing I'd get some sense of him. I hope he and Leo are playing and running free from pain and suffering. I hope he is not burdeed by the sorrow I feel but that he can still feel my love.
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gparmar76
I hope that this short time that has passed has put a little ease in your heart...I am, myself in extreme pain from putting my beloved dog Milo to sleep today....I never would have imagined this pain from losing a pet....they truly become your family...and the more you love them, the harder it is...I wish you luck and I hope you feel better with each passing day my friend.
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MacBeansMom
thank you for your note. I don't know. I thought I was doing a little better but now, all of a sudden I cannot sleep again and all I do is think about him. The paws on my knees as I work, begging to come up; the softness of his fur as I slept. I know it will get better and the loss of a pet is never easy; but this has just destroyed me.
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