lakecoral

I lost her a week ago to kidney failure...
German Shepherds can read your mind, I had been given a “moonflower” plant and it was huge, the bees loved it etc, and although I had researched whether it was poisonous, I didn’t find the right information until after the fact. If Molly accidentally ate a dried flower in the grass, this could have caused the issues, although she had arthritis, etc and I truly thought her hips would take her down. I woke up at 2;30 in the AM after she passed with that on my mind and found out how poisonous they were. The plant has been ripped up and no longer any remains are in my yard. That is the worst feeling that I could have caused her death.  But this also could have been coming on for awhile, she was on Previcox (NSAID for dogs) for the last two years, so this could have been a slow progression, but I wish God could just let me know, since thinking I accidentally poisoned her is so painful. I have been crying for a week, and have gone back and forth about rescuing a dog ASAP or purchasing a new GS...my son cautions me that it is a knee jerk reaction and I have been insane with grief. I do have two old cats here, so better than totally alone, I have not been dogless for 30 years...

 

molly.jpg 

Coral Bucy
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olive465
I am thankful for you and thankful for this forum.  I came home this evening to find my Olive had transitioned.  I had been having financial hardship over the past month, and I feel that I should have taken better care of her.  She was only seven.  Her demise  is speculated to have been caused by a  spleen tumor.  I did not pay attention to her extreme thirst.  When it let up some, and she was not devouring entire bowls of water, I told myself she has  mild constipation.  More fiber in her diet.  Yes. That will help.  I left this morning after her walk and her meal told her I loved her, came home to find her lifeless.  I am beyond words with grief and guilt.  I have a son away in college.  How do I tell him?  I cant bring myself to reach out to anyone. Not even my family who knows that dog meant everything to me.  I feel like a failed parent.  So I know what you are going through.  Im crying right now.    Only my neighbor and his kids know because i ran over there like a lunatic and asked him to put my doggie in my truck to head over to the vet.  It happened so fast.  Thank you for sharing, and allowing me to share.

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lakecoral
Oh my dear pet friend,

I hope what I write will comfort you or help. I have been in the place with lack for other dogs. I was able to give Molly the best food glucosamine shots for her hips even a bath at the vet every month but I still feel guilty. My friends don't think my worst fear happened but I still am grieving. All I can offer is that although we think we did not do enough, they were still loved more than many dogs out there

I am going to get out and walk in the parks this week to wear myself out and pray the grief will subside soon

I pray yours will too...if they could only talk and they would never hold it against us.
Coral Bucy
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olive465
Thank you for the comforting words.i know we did all we could do and more. Yes if they could only speak. It will take time for me to stop beating myself up I suppose. I too will be taking long walls in the park listening for nature 's comfort. This is worse than the loss of a relative. I've never been so distraught and I can't stop crying. Thanks and hugs to you.
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lakecoral
HI!  I'm still crying also...and in the last week wavered back and forth about adopting or buying another GS, my son has talked me down along with friends that it is too soon, so I have contacted the local shelter to volunteer and go walk and play with dogs there. And I have never been so distraught either, even though I have grieved over all of my animals that passed on, this is the toughest.

Hugs to you to you too!
Coral Bucy
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shorelinerach
Lakecoral and Olive465, I am right there with you today and feeling the exact same way.  I lost my Oliver to bladder cancer on Monday and I am absolutely beside myself.  This hurts worse than any other death I have experienced be it family or friends. I have a pit in my stomach and a huge lump in my throat.  No matter what I do I can't stop crying.  Everywhere I look I see my little man and lose it.  I did get his ashes yesterday and felt somewhat of a relief.  Just having back home with me made me feel a little better. I hope we will get through this together.  I am so thankful for people like you and this site.  We are not alone. 

Hugs to you!!!!
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olive465
Volunteerimg is very therapeutic. Thank you for that idea. I will wait a while before trying that because I know if I do it now I will come home with a dog. I want to make sure I am totally financially sound with a substantial hands off stash of cash before bringing home another dog. That's the guilt talking. I know one day ill look back on it and it will have subsided. Bit I'm going to allow myself thes feelings. One of the chat moderators gave me link on guilt and how to overcome it. When I get home on my computer I will share it with you. Thank you pet friend..
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olive465
here is the link for you as promised
http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html

I hope we are able to mirror this way of being and get rid of this awful feeling.  Talk soon.
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