So yesterday my puppy died.
I noticed something was up with him in the morning. He wasn't himself. He was lethargic and was breathing a bit fast. But I shrugged it off and thought he had eaten too much. (He does that alot). I went to work as usual. At lunchtime I checked him again and he was the same. I thought he should see a vet just in case. I called the vet and they said bring him in now, I asked if they could wait half and hour so my partner could take him when he finished work because I had to go back to work. I still didn't think it was anything serious. My partner called me at work and told me the vet thought it was rat poison or a snake bite. My partner called me back later and said that they think it was rat poison but only a little bit that he must've got from a dead rat. They said they would give him vitamin K and keep him for observation. Later they called and said he could come home, we would just need to keep an eye on him. I was going to pick him up after work.
They called 15mins before I finished work and said he had gotten worse and couldn't breathe.
I told them I'd be there soon because I couldn't make a decision over the phone. They wanted to give him a blood transfusion.
I got there and my partner told me that we couldn't afford the blood transfusion because it was $700. The puppy is technically my dad's dog and dad said not to do it either. They were worries about complications.
I told the vet not to do it and just to let him go.
Now I can barely live with the guilt. Junior was 6 months old. He was a happy, energitic little dog who absolutely adored our two other dogs and they adored him.
Everyone keeps telling me I made the right decision and in their experience dogs aren't the same after rat poisoning. And they say the blood transfusion may not have worked anyway.
As much as I am dealing with the grief of the loss and am also dealing with the guilt of what could have happened if I had let him have the blood transfusion.
I feel like I am a horrible person.
I just want to go back and redo the day over.
I just wanted him to stop hurting.
Did I make the right decision or am I a horrible person?
Quote 0 0

  So sorry to hear about your puppy. No, you are not a horrible person. These things just seem to happen, even with our best of intentions. I know that you and your partner are hurting tremendously from this tragedy. You made a wise choice coming to this Forum. The support here is ongoing and genuine - unlike the limited time of help we receive from family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues, etc. I hope you will find some peace in dealing with this. My heart aches for you. Everyone here in this Forum has been through this before to one extent or another. We all understand. Please post here (when you are up to it) and let us know how you are coping. Once again, my heartfelt condolences. 

Sending peaceful and healing thoughts your way,

Jim Miller
Quote 0 0
Dear Michaelalee,
My heart goes out to you. We all want a do over. It is such a helpless feeling even if the dog is old and sick. There were treatments or tests I couldn't afford either, or I would have.
You did notice something was wrong and get your pup to the vet. Try not to feel guilty. You did your best.
Quote 0 0
I'm so sorry for the loss of your puppy Mikaelalee.

No, you're not a horrible person, you did your very best in a horrible situation.

Please be gentle with yourself. Take care..x
Quote 0 0