IggyMom
Yesterday, we had to let go of our wonderful dog.   I am too upset to go into the details, and don't want to give her name in case anyone would read this and connect the two.   

She was a gentle, kind loving spirit who was so in tune with everyone.   She knew when we had bad days and good days.  Unfortunately, I have had a lot of bad days in the last year or so, due to an incredibly awful working environment with the nastiest people you can imagine.  I am not a young person and have experience in all kinds of workplace situations, but this one is probably the most awful I've known in more than 40 years of work history.

I know my baby sensed all those days I came home and cried, and despite her own growing illness, was always there trying to comfort me.  I did my very best to take care of her and did everything I could to shower her with love and comfort this past year, but I feel guilty that I let this working environment impact my home life.  Unfortunately, I am in a situation where I cannot leave the job as I am within a few short years of retirement.     

I thankfully have been able to take a few days off which is what I've done.  But I know I will have to return to work, with these awful people, and I can't even tell anyone what has happened.  

When I've lost my beloved pets in the past I was fortunate to be in a workplace where I had friends/coworkers who I could talk to and understood the grief I was experiencing.

Has anyone had to deal with this grief and then go back to work with people who hate you?


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patent123
Be it at home, with friends, or with coworkers I think we all have felt our emotions belittled in some way.  People expect someone to get over the loss of a pet a lot sooner then we actually do...especially people who haven''t experienced it themselves.  I know your work environment is FAR from ideal but your not alone!!! You can always come here to talk about your friend you lost because we all understand the pain. I hope you get to feeling better soon we are all here for you. 
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IggyMom
Thanks so much for your comment, Patent.  I guess this business of grieving does not get any easier the older you get, even though you get more "experienced" at it.  I've lost both my parents, other relatives, friends, lovers, and pets.   But it's still painful each and every time.  
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IggyMom
I meant to add that somehow the loss of a beloved pet is more impactful.   We see them each and every day and their loss echoes throughout our homes and hearts.  

One loss I have not experienced is that of my child, and those who have lost children have described how unimaginably devastating it is.   I certainly don't mean to compare the death of a child to a pet, so please don't get me wrong.  But I think the reason pet loss is so hard is because in many ways they are like small children - loving, trusting and so dependent on us.   
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patent123
No grieving never gets easier no matter how old or experienced you become in it.  Although we are all sad and in pain I like to look at this in a different way.  Our sadness is a clear sign that we had a great life with whomever it is we lost.  It doesn't matter if its a pet or a person...our sadness shows that our memories of them were special and always will be. 

Personally a lot of my friends and family expected me to be sad for a couple days then snap out of it after I put my dog to sleep.  When I continued to express that I missed my girl I would often get remarks like "ugh just get another dog already!" Its important to remember that not everyone will understand your feelings...just keep reminding yourself that your allowed to feel whatever you feel and take however long you need.  

Its been a year today since I let my dog go and I'm in a better place then I was but I still miss her terribly!! I hope you feel better soon! Your girl was lucky to have you as family. 
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IggyMom
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement ...

And I agree with the timeline issue.  I'm not even 48 hours into this process and know that other people will think I should be "over" it, probably within days.  That's just not gonna happen... 
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CB
Hi

Don't ever let anyone put a timeline to your grief. It is real and burns and drowns, heats and freezes. In fact grief is like every element you can imagine. If it was easy to deal with the loss of something so precious then someone would have come up with a formula by now. But just as there is no rhyme or reason to love then there is no such thing for loss. Anything that has it's own presence, personality and heart and soul is worthy of the pain irrespective of human or animal. I lost my mum a month after my little dog. I cry equally for them. I have two parallel streams of grief. Obviously the relationship with each was different but each valid.
As for your horrible co workers, I really feel for you there. Easier said than done but look at them and realise you have special qualities, you knew how to love something and know how to mourn it's leaving. What do they have? Probably nothing, they probably don't have the bravery to open their hearts. After all if they can't be nice to a fellow human, the chances are they can't be kind to something that would only give unconditional love.
So if it is any help at all, in your working hours ignore their attitude. Know you are better and whenever it gets too much just say in your head 'At least I can go home, post a message to new friends on a forum and get support'. See it that way and know that even people who didn't know you until sadly your loss brought you here, will listen and care.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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IggyMom
CB, thank you very much for your eloquent words.  You are right in that we have to let go of the negativity in life and try and hold on to what's positive.  I have many wonderful memories with my sweet girl and if times are bad, I can rely on those to be my touchstones for what is important and GOOD in life.  
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dexter18840
Hi, I posted some messages in a forum about "Dexter" yesterday who was my beloved dog of over 18 yrs that I had to put down on Friday.. So like most of you I am in the early stages of mourning and it is so painful but iggymom in regard to your point about going back to a negative workplace I understand your point.  I go back to work tomorrow and I don't plan on talking about it with people there but the fact is that some people know about Dexter and if hear one negative comment like "it was only a dog" or anything like that I am going to lose my mind. So I am hoping I can just get thru this week and then I am on vacation..I will try to to do what I read in the past and not surround myself around negative people and only supportive ones like the ones here. But I guess overall these aren't my main concerns, but mainly just overall coping with the loss. He was just such a big part of my life for so long and its really difficult now..I went to church this morning and said some prayers there which helped. There was a healing prayer for 9/11 in the church that I read which was quite helpful and quite ironic since Dexter was put to rest on this Friday which was 9/11.. I will continue to do things that I feel are helpful to me and I hope all you guys find the thing that works best for you as we all are experiencing the same pain...God bless you all and your pets... 
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