I lost my Kelsey last year on 1/24. He was my only child, and my best friend. It was so difficult for me, then I took my brothers toy poodle a few months after Kelsey died, and had him for almost a year. I had also watched him when they went away, and he was good buddies with Kelsey.  Beau was almost 13, and started to have episodes of syncope where he would go limp and pass out briefly. I was told that toy poodles have small tracheas. Yesterday morning he had shallow breathing which wasn't resolving so I called the vet. Beau was struggling to breath on the way to the vet, and I knew it wasn't good. The vet was so compassionate, and I called my brother since Beau is his dog. It wasn't a good prognosis. My brother made the most loving and compassionate decision, and asked that the vet take the phone back to Beau so he could talk to him. Beau was on oxygen, but responded to my brother's voice. I chose to stay with him while he took his last breath, and now I'm having an extremely difficult time again. Beau was the last link to my dog Kelsey, and to my Dad, who passed away 6 years ago.  I'm heartbroken all over again, and am feeling extremely depressed. I work in the mental health field, so I know the symptoms, but I can't seem to rise above it now.  Grieving for Kelsey was terrible, but having Beau with me made it so much easier. Now I hate to come into my house because it's so empty and quiet.  Beau always sat on the back of my couch to look out the window and I'm constantly looking over there hoping to see him. I feel like the wounds are opened up all over again, and the old ones hadn't even healed.  When I'm alone, I just can't stop crying.
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I'm so sorry. We lost our 15 year old dog about 7 weeks ago. We have a 13 year old dog as well, and I know when she dies part of my grieving will be for the first one again, and just missing those years of our lives. Hang in there. You should feel better with time, as hard as that is to believe right now.

Also, maybe you will want to get another dog sooner rather than later. I used to think I might not get another dog right away once both of ours died, but now I think maybe I am too much of a dog person and I just need a dog in my house.
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Melissa, so sorry for your loss. We lost our 17 year old boy Jim just over 5 weeks ago - like you he was a last link to my dad who died almost 7 years ago, dad loved Jim like he was his own dog.
 I was in a terrible place when Jim passed, couldn`t eat or sleep - just felt like a huge hole had opened up inside of me. I have about come to terms with it, I know he is is in a better place with all my other animals - but I know I`ll miss him forever. 
 Take it one day at a time, and I found so much comfort being on this forum - we`ve all been there, and truly understand what you are going through right now. 
 Our little friends were such a huge part of our lives, there would be something wrong if we didn`t grieve for them so much. Sending you big hugs, take care, Jackie. xx
J Taylor
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I am so very sorry Melissa. You're right. The old wounds are opening again b/c of the pain of losing Kelsey & now Beau. I read somewhere 'grief' was compared to a 5th burner pot on the stove. I have one so I appreciated the metaphor.  Don't use it often but it's on the stove-- a vertical pot to quickly cook pasta etc. It's always there. Most times, when I use the pot it boils over & scorches the stovetop. The loss, and the pain is always there.  When there's another loss of a loved one-- whether dog, cat or person-- it overwhelms us because it all comes back to the surface.  Please try to take it one moment at a time and day-to-day. I hate coming into an empty house too. Feels like a hollow space,  like my heart. We are all here for you! Hugs, KC


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Melissa, I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. And losing 2 pets in a year time just opens up old wounds and makes it so much
harder to grieve.

I know, I lost my Munki on 12/3 (7 weeks ago) and also my other pet Daizy on 1/2 (they passed away 11 months apart) 2 dogs in one year is awful, cuz just as I was healing from losing Daizy, boom, I ended up losing Munki and all the old wounds of Daizy came flourishing back to me. 

You did a good thing by being by Beau's side, even with your brother was on the phone, Beau knew true love. And i am sorry you feel so overwhelmed right now, you are taking in alot of emotions. Please keep posting here and know you are not alone and there are other caring compassionate people who you can talk with.

Sending ((((((hugs)))) 



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