Hello all, I was on vacation today when I received a call from my dog Pickles’ boarding facility. They notified me that Pickles passed away this morning. I cannot tell you how devastated I am right now. I can’t stop crying or feeling guilty. Pickles was my baby boy for the last 13 years and my companion when I was doing travel nursing. I love him so much. I know I should focus on the great memories we had but I keep thinking about not being there for him when he passed and how I will never see him again. It’s hard and it’ll be even worse when I return home.
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Wow this has got to be the hardest thing to go through!  I'm so sorry you weren't there with Pickles when he passed over.  Please don't allow too much guilt to seep in, because I'm sure Pickles knew how much you loved him, just as he loved you.  I've read a lot about grieving and am coming to realize we have no control over the time of our pets' dying, even if we choose to have them put to sleep.  It just happens when it's time to happen, and there is never an optimal time.  It's always heart-breaking.  

Going home will be difficult I know, but perhaps it will be an event which allows you to begin a sort of healing process.  I understand how hard this is:  I lost my girl Tink a month ago today.  She was one loved little doggie and my heart.  A couple of things which have helped me over the past four weeks have been trying to get back into some kind of a simple, normal routine, even if it's where I have to put things on auto-pilot.  The other thing which has helped immensely has been all the amazing people on this forum.  It is comforting to know there are lots of people out there who love their pets immeasurably, just like you do.  I read other peoples' stories and I want to comfort them, like they have me over my loss.  I hope you come back; these people will surround you with love and support.  You're in my thoughts in this difficult time.

James L Trippe
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Hi Jim,

Thank you for your kind words. I’m sorrry for your loss too. I’m just hoping to make it through this difficult period. Right now I just can’t stop crying every time I think of Pickles. At this point I just don’t see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. This is one of my favorite pictures of Pickles. He’s my little king.

Thank you again for your comforting words.

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Kim, oh my gosh, what a shock you've had. I'm so sorry for your loss, its suddenness and the timing. I'm sure your heart feels torn wide open!

It is good you are letting the tears flow, even though the hurt is stunning and incredibly strong.  They leave such a hole in our hearts. 

Your sweet baby Pickles is just adorable.

I hate that you're walking through this. But please know most everyone here understands and has felt much the same. I hope you'll keep writing as much as you need to. Telling the story and feeling heard can be a help. Getting some compassion on it. It is a real injury of the soul to lose a precious family member--and out of the blue, as you have.

Wishing you peace and comfort and sending hugs...

-Missing Marissa deeply
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