I lost my sweet MeMe on January 26th. She was a feisty 8 year old chihuahua and the furry love of my life. I find that I am very lost without her. She was so much a part of my everyday routine that to do it without her feels wrong. I was not ready to let her go but the pain from her collapsed disks in her neck was increasing and her bad days were out numbering her good ones. So we ended on a good day.
I nearly hyperventilated during her sleep to heaven process. Part of me is glad that I was there in her final moments because I wanted my face to be the last one she saw...and the other part of me wishes I hadn't because her tiny face lying still haunts me. I miss her so much I can barely breathe.
I am a single parent of one child and she became my second child, my companion, my cuddle buddy, my contentment, my heart. I called her my "velcro" she was never very far from where I was. I remember the day I rescued her from the shelter. She was this tiny emaciated lil thing shaking in the corner of the area they kept her in. It was love at first sight. She was supposed to be my son's dog but it was clear from day one she had chosen me as her person. And that was that.
I have had pets growing up but I was never as attached to them as I was to her. She became part of my heart.
I have never felt such grief, such overwhelming loss...
We live with my grandmother and her dog Kassie keeps looking for MeMe. She stands in the doorway of my room looking....or she sits at the end of the hallway waiting for those tiny steps to echo in the hallway. She like me, is lost without her friend. It grieves me more to see this. I wish I could sit with Kassie and explain it to her but I can't. So we both just look around not knowing what to do about this hole in our lives.

Thank you for letting me share my lovey with you. She was amazing.
Marla Brewer
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Awe I am truly sorry and I get it. I too lost my beloved 15 year old Bassett on the 26th to a twisted stomach. I'll never forget his heartbreaking look and bark. I had to drive him about hour and half away to a specialist. My mind is in a constant battle. I handed him off to complete strangers thinking all the while after surgery I will be able to see my sweet boy. That was that. He never made it out. It was much worse than they thought so with my permission they had to let him go. Oh the heartbreak. Words can't describe the pain and the thoughts in my head. Should I have done this different or that. He hated to be away from me. Never knew pain in his life and to leave me in such a horrible way with strangers. My heart will never be the same. I do pray God allows us to meet again.
Pamela Ailey
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I am sorry to hear of your loss as well on the 26th. How heartbreaking it must have been to lose him during surgery. It is awful to see our furry babies in pain. They give nothing but love and kindness.
I know the feeling of questioning whether it was right or whether it could have been different. I ask myself that a lot as of late.
Right before MeMe succumbed to the induced sleep she perked right up and looked at something as if she was listening to someone talking to her. I'd like to think it was God telling her it was going to be alright and not to be scared.
I too pray that we will be reunited with them when the time is right.
Marla Brewer
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I am so sorry you lost your little one.  It has been 8 weeks for me and I am still in terrible pain.  So I do understand.  I was a single Mom for 22 years so I get it.  I think you did the right thing to stay with your doggy.  After all they trust us completely to do the right thing for them. 

I am sending you hugs and hope your journey along this very painful path, will be short.
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I am so sorry to hear of both your losses on the 26th.  I lost my Ginger on the 20th.  She was my girl for 15 years.  I know the pain you are going through because I am going through the same pain.  May they all be frolicking together at Rainbow Bridge.
Beverly Lieb
Ginger's Mommy forever
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