Memories_of_Marmalade


This is pretty fascinating and helped me to understand a little more of what all of us are feeling & experiencing linked below. If you haven't seen it.

Courtesy of Lauren Herschel:

https://www.indy100.com/article/grief-viral-thread-lauren-herschel-ball-in-box-analogy-death-8792541
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pannklaus
That is an excellent description of what grief feels like to many of us.  I especially like the part about when the ball gets smaller but when it hits the pain button it is painful because you never know when it is going to randomly strike again.  It also describes the beginning phase well when grief is everything and overwhelms all aspects of daily life.
Patsy
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JJHolmes
In the beginning, the ball "doesn't keep hitting the button," rather, the ball is ALWAYS pressing the button.
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huckleberry1918
Thank you for forwarding that. I'm in the phase where the ball is still really big, but I can tell that it's getting smaller. This makes me fell guilty, because I feel like I'm not grieving enough for Huckleberry, but the pain button is still the same size. The size of the ball is shrinking and that has nothing to do with Huckleberry or with my feelings. The ball is just shrinking with time.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Huckleberry1918,

I think what you are feeling is natural and to be expected based upon the theory in the drawings. The ball is supposed to shrink. That is the goal. As many have posted / shared here, there is no specific time limit on grief. It hits everyone differently at different times. It's random. Which the illustrations also indicate. It is good that you are healing. I hope that ball of grief within you disappears eventually. 

Kind regards,
James
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nosunshine36
Thanks James for sharing this! It explains a lot. When I lost my Sunshine (Sunny) the pain was all encompassing. As time has gone by there are still times when it is so painful I find it hard to breathe despite adopting another beautiful little dog whom I love with am my heart. This explains a lot. Thank you!
Blessings and my condolences on Marmalade,
Sharon
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TaazyBoy
Aww this makes perfect sense. Thank you for posting this James. I swear as humans we are such a complicated bunch. It has almost been a week now and the first few days I would have given anything for the hurt to go away, to be able to breathe again. I caught myself smiling at something the other day and quickly was disgusted with myself, wondering how I could possible smile without my sweet Tazzy boy here? I did our usual who wants chicken shuffle for my other pups the other night and caught myself again, being "normal", guilt no matter what we do. In my heart, I know my Tazzy boy would want us to carry on, he would not want me serving sadness to my other pups. I can't help but think he is up there smiling, hoping it would go on just as it did before he arrived with us 18 months ago. It is getting a bit easier, I feel terrible saying that, I will never stop missing our sweet old man but it is getting a bit easier to smile because it happened. 
LM
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DogNana
JJHolmes wrote:
In the beginning, the ball "doesn't keep hitting the button," rather, the ball is ALWAYS pressing the button.
. Yes, exactly. Constant pain that makes you feel like you can’t go on.
Oscar, always Mommy’s Boy, forever in my ❤️ 
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