StephanieW - What a lovely development; I'm very happy for you and your new '9-month alive' addition to the household!
In the past, I've twice welcomed another kitten after having lost a beloved feline companion. It was indeed a mix of emotions for me as well. I thought I was moving too quickly; I felt uncertain even after I'd made my choice; I also felt guilty for having chosen a kitten vs an older cat; and I wondered if I were doing it simply to keep myself occupied rather than having to deal with the grief.
Whatever farrago of emotions comes up for you, just acknowledge them all. Things eventually settle out as a routine is established, even as you are reminded of dear sweet Frinks with new life in your home. The bottom line for me was always that you could hold multiple 'tracks' in your heart (representing an animal or human), each of them utterly unique and special. Love is never a zero-sum game; it's more a question of when you feel ready to open your heart up again to add another facet to what is always a multi-faceted existence.
It was true for me that the initial settling in period was a bit tough because I was reminded of the one I'd so recently lost. Again, different tracks are running concurrently, sometimes intertwining and crossing paths, but always in motion because time just keeps unspooling.
I know I'll eventually welcome another feline into my home and heart when the time feels right. You need to do what feels right for YOU, and only then do you feel an integrity of purpose, and things flow in a way that feels right. I once adopted a sweet little kitten from a rescue organization, then ended up returning him because my first cat was not adjusting well, and all parties needed to be on board.
Enjoy getting to know one another; you sound happy and excited, and I know the new little girl will have an absolutely wonderful life with you. Warmest regards, and big holiday hugs for you as we finish 2019!
Thank you so much for continuously being a wise and uplifting voice for me. Your perspective, opinions and experience I deem of high value! This hasn't been the first time you've come to my rescue and I know I've already expressed my gratitude but it truly means so much! Thank you again. <3
I think your emphasis on routine is very important. The first few days have been very difficult but yesterday I was finally excited to wake up. I felt purpose and excitement greeting my new friend in the morning. The sadness was still there but less acute and apparent. I'm very grateful and I'm sure I will face days when it will feel awful again but it's reassuring knowing it will not be forever.
I'm deeply touched with your description of love taking different tracks in one's heart. I'm impressed because I never considered that! It makes me feel better thinking of it this way; it makes it feel like I'm moving forward rather than being stuck in place with negative feelings. It also preserves my love for Frinks, knowing I can love my new friend without it robbing me of that. Thank you. That was great advice and such a thoughtful sentiment.
I'm sorry that your other cat wasn't welcoming to your kitten! Frinks was very jealous and I know it would of been very hard for him to have another cat around. I think what you did was responsible and fair! Returning the kitten must of been very difficult. I hope that you are okay and that you're able to find a match for you and your family at a later time (if you chose to adopt again). Props to you for trying <3 I know that it's takes a lot of emotional strength.
Again, thank you so much Gucci! I hope the winter hasn't got you too down. Keep taking your vitamin D and please enjoy your Christmas (if you celebrate - - - ever since your DM I've been trying to eat more fruit)!!! I send so many warm December hugs to you! Take care <3