It has been a month since I had to say goodbye to my baby. His name was Ash and he was a year old.
We adopted Ash at 8 weeks old from a rescue. He was a coonhound mix.
For the first few months everything appeared fine, but as Ash got older he became more aggressive towards almost any person besides myself and my husband. He would tolerate some of our immediate family and even then he was always anxious around them.
The first time he nipped at someone was to one of our friends who wanted to try and get closer to Ash to possibly make him feel more comfortable with him being there. The entire time Ash was barking, growling and lunging at him. He made contact with our friends leg during this process once. We thought it was an accident and hoped to be able to move on from it. Then in July he not only bit one, but two people. One was our neighbor and the other was my uncle. It happened when we were visiting my parents and my aunt and uncle had made a surprise visit. Ash was not provoked and just walked up to him and bit his leg. I was off on the four wheeler in the woods and was not there to possibly make the situation avoidable.
We had been working with a trainer for some time to try and help Ash. He was also becoming aggressive and dominant over our other dog Milo. When Ash bit my uncle I talked to our trainer and our vet. Both agreed that no matter how much training you give him we would always need to know that he could snap. We had a vet visit at one point where Ash was sitting fine and then all of a sudden the vet was walking toward us and using her hands and that just set him off.
That was the scariest part; the not knowing if he could be ok or he really could hurt someone. His quality of life would also decrease because we wouldn’t be able to take him out of the house at all or very little. He would also be unable to interact with people. We also didn’t want him to hurt anyone else. I was terrified he would hurt a child in our neighborhood if he accidentally got out.
My husband and I had to make the most difficult decision of having Ash put down. For the two weeks leading up to it I would cry everyday. I really wanted there to be another choice, but weighing all the options none would have given Ash the best quality of life or ourselves.
I think about the day we had to say goodbye all the time. How I failed him and how much I miss him. We sat with him until he was gone and even after I couldn’t leave. I will never forgive myself. I felt we loved him so much and gave him the best life we could and it still wasn’t enough. I continue to struggle every day hating myself. I don’t think that will ever change. My dogs are my children and I love them with everything I have. I love you Ash and I will miss you for the rest of my life.
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  Don't blame yourself for Ash's aggressiveness. You and your husband did everything in your power to try and remedy the situation. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Let yourself grieve for as long as you need. There are lots of wonderful people in this Forum that fully support you. You are not alone. 
Jim Miller
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I'm so sorry you had to make such a tough decision. Something obviously happened during the first 8 weeks of his life that made him dangerous to everyone expect a few people. I think he was trained that way because it's what happens in South Africa where I come from.
You gave your doggie so much love and tried very hard to rectify the situation. You must of been scared for your other dog and for people as well, being so conflicted. Know that you took advise from two experts, who know these situations much more then you. You loved him to try to do what you could and you gave him a good life. I am sorry for your loss
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I am so sorry about the grief and loss you feel for Ash.  What a terribly difficult decision to have to make.  It is hard enough to make the decision when our fur babies are sick and suffering.  But to have to make it for a physically healthy dog is especially courageous.  It shows your deep love for Ash and your realistic concern for the safety of other people who would be around Ash.  So many people deny it when their pets are dangerous to others until it leads to tragedy.  You sensibly did everything you could to see if Ash could be trained but it became clear that he could not. There is no reason to hate yourself.  You gave Ash a good life while you had him.  And you were a very responsible pet owner in facing the dog that Ash was becoming and the fact that his behavior could not be changed.  I know you are grieving over your loss and that is normal.  But don't blame yourself for recognizing the decision that had to be made.  The whole situation is very sad.
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