StanleyMan
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On Wednesday August 5th I lost the most beautiful little man in the world and my best friend. Stanley, my 12 year old Jack Russell, caught a Bufo Frog--highly poisonous--and died a horrible death.

My wife and I did everything we could to save him, but it was all in vain. Stanley went into convulsions within minutes and died in my wife's arms on the way to the 24 hour animal hospital. I am devastated and struggling to get through each day. It was a horrible death for any dog. Watching the little guy who was such a big part of my family writhe in pain like that is an image that I can't get out of my mind. All my wife could do was try to hose the poison out of his mouth, hold him, and tell him she loves him, while I tried desperately to locate a vet who was open.

I feel horrible.

We had a memorial service for him, and I wrote a farewell letter to him. 

I am in the midst of the darkness, missing my beautiful boy and praying that his soul is at peace.

Words cannot express how heartbroken I am.




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goldenpoms
I'm so sorry to hear about Stanley.  Know that you both did everything you could with the best of intentions and this was a situation that was completely out of your control and Stanley knows that.
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StanleyMan
Thank you. I appreciate your comment. 
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StanleyMan
Remembering Stanley:
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StanleyMan
Remembering Stanley:
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Manjack
I am so sorry for your loss and for the awful way Stanley lost his life.
Heartbroken is a word that describes most of us here in the forum. No matter the manner of death we face a huge void in our lives and we struggle together to readjust to this change.
Your loss is so new that I am sure there is still some shock and disbelief. You need to take the time that it takes to grieve and to mourn your loss. Learning to live without them is not easy.
If it is possible try to replace the mental image of Stanley's last hours with positive, happy, healthy mind pictures. This is something that I had to really, really work on as I was tortured by the image of my emaciated, weak, dying dog.perhaps it is too soon but one wise poster in this forum pointed out to me that I was focusing on the last two(miserable) weeks and choosing to ignore the good 12 years.

When those images of my dying pet would creep in I had to say aloud "stop" and force myself to think of him as a cute puppy, or running in the grass or something silly that he did.
17 weeks later I can tell you that the raw agony that you are feeling right now will subside and change into sadness , but a bearable one. The grief journey following pet loss is neither swift nor easy. It is filled with twists and turns. Everything you are feeling is normal. Reading other threads will confirm that.

I want to send words of encouragement and invite you, when you are ready, to return and share Stanley's story with us.
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StanleyMan
Thank you for your kind words. I will share Stanley's story when I'm able. He had a pretty full life.
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Graceful
Words cannot express your heartache, and words cannot express how sad I was to see how your beloved Stanley left this earth, and lost his life to a tragic accident. 

Stanleyman, I am truly hanging my head with sorrow and tears for your loss.

Having a service, and writing Stanley a letter were both caring and loving actions, and you may find other ways to send Stanley your love, and honor his life.    You may want to write in a journal, and continue writing Stanley letters.  I find using the epistolary style of writing a very good way of releasing emotions, and many people on the forum do it in their threads.  The road you are on is a tough one and not going to be easy, but coming onto this forum is a good start, and I hope you find some comfort here. 

The photographs are beautiful; it's easy to see why you treasured him, and you certainly took wonderful care of him.  With a loving person such as you, and a nice family that loved Stanley, too, he certainly is resting in peace.  

Sending you very sincere condolences, as well as hope and enduring faith, in remembrance of Stanley.
I wish you peace in your time of grieving,
Grace

"Now that the time has come
 Soon gone is the day,
 There upon some distant shore
 You will hear me say,
 Long as the day in the summer time
 Deep as the wine-dark sea,
 I'll keep your heart with mine
 Till you come to me"  (LM)

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StanleyMan
Thank you for your kind words Graceful. I truly found comfort in them. I've had many dogs in my lifetime, but Stanley was very special in so many ways. He leaves a big hole in my family with his absence.
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sophiesaki
I am so incredibly saddened by the loss of your Stanley.  I know exactly how you feel. I just lost my Sophie yesterday under anesthesia. She was in for a dental. She was a vibrant girl, full of life. The vet has no idea what happened and my husband I are devastated. She was 12 and we took every precaution possible. Anesthesiologist, preliminary blood work and x-rays, 3 specialist opinions. I'm in complete shock and in that dark place as well. I just want you to know that I know exactly how you feel. I lost my 13 year old pug last year as well. It's wonderful that you had a service for him. I want to do that for my Sophie and create a memorial page for her. Stanley sounds like he had such a wonderful long life with you and he knows how much you loved him. The grief process is not easy and it's different for everyone. I personally have a really hard time. I'm trying to think of the good memories, but the what ifs keep coming in. I hope your grief becomes easier over time and please know you are not alone. You will see Stanley again and all your beloved pets one day. You and your family are in my prayers. I only hope that Sophie found Stanley at The Rainbow Bridge and they are running free playing together. Looking forward to hearing more about Stanley's life. 
Shannon Styron
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jaschutz
I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Stanley is such a beautiful dog. I know that what you are going through probably feels like some dark version of the world you used to live in. That is how I felt when I lost London. You are right that losing your best friend to an accident can be so much more difficult. For the longest time, all I could think about was that I could have prevented London's death and that is was my fault that I couldn't save her. Sometimes the same feelings creep up, but not as often as they used to. I think these are feelings we all feel after losing our soul mates. I wish more than anything that I could say something to help ease the pain, because I know how you feel and how hard it is. Life can be so unfair in these instances and we can feel robbed of years that we should have been able to spend with our best friends. All I can can tell you is to take it day by day. After I lost London, that is all I could do. Every day that you get through is a victory. You just need to start small and the healing process will come around eventually. Time can let us heal from the trauma that these events bring on but I don't believe we ever truly heal from the pain and missing. I still miss London every single day and I know that I will miss her every single day that I am away from her. We just learn to live these "new lives" without our loved ones but in no means does that mean we stop missing them. These special bonds are too meaningful to just go away when one is no longer with us. I hope you are able to find some comfort in your dark days and know that Stanley is always with you.
Jamie

You can visit London's memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/LONDO001/Resident.htm
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StanleyMan
Stanley,

It's been just a week since you've left, and my heart is broken. Such a little character. You left a big hole in our family when you went. I miss you terribly and can't get that night you died out of my head. I would do anything to have you here, but I know that's just not possible. Farewell my beautiful little boy. I hope you are chasing squirrels in heaven.

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