waningcrow
It happened very suddenly; last night I had to make the most difficult decision I've ever made. My darling cat passed away peacefully with me by her side. She had been with me for almost 9 years, and had become an emotional support animal to me (I have PTSD).

I'm really struggling with the grief/guilt. I feel like I so badly failed her. Sometimes I'm crying so hard I feel like I'm going to pass out. I've never felt pain this intense when losing someone before.

I have no idea what to do. I'm a zombie when I'm not crying. How long is this pain going to be this bad?

starling cute.jpg 
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BorderCollieLover
waningcrow:

  My heart goes out to you over the loss of yoiur beloved cat. I know that must've been a gut-wrenching decision to make yesterday. This Forum is filled with like-minded pet loving people who are here to support you. Post here often as it can really make a difference. I hope you are able to find some peace. That may take some time but it will happebn for you. Stay stroing.

Jim
Jim Miller
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Gingers_Mommy
Waningcrow, I'm so sorry for your loss. The grief and guilt are completely normal feelings. You'll process things and eventually let go of the guilt. I completely understand the crying and grief and then feeling zoned out /zombie like after the crying spells.

I can't answer exactly how long the pain will last. However I can tell you that it won't be this bad forever. It's not that it won't hurt, it's not that you won't miss her, but the grief will become ... manageable. It's all very recent for you though. Th wound in your heart over loss is still fresh. Please know that your feelings are completely normal. It's ok to cry it's ok to hurt and grieve over her. It's ok to post and vent your feelings as need be. This is a great online community of grieving pet parents. We're here for you, now and as you walk along your own unique path of grief.
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Becky1990
Waningcrow,
I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet girl. What a beautiful girl she is! I wish I could take your pain away. Unfortunately we have to go through the greiving process. The pain may never go away, but I promise you, it does get better. It has been 5 weeks today that my 19 year old cat had to be put to sleep. We all feel guilty at first. Please allow yourself to cry and cry more. They are our babies and we love them with all of our heart. And know that she knew you loved her. There are alot of loving people here, that is here to support you. We understand the pain that you are feeling. I have even written a letter to him here. Writing does help tremendously. Let us know how you are doing. We truly care. Big hug.
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waningcrow
Thank you for all your kind words and sharing your stories.

Right now it is awful. I am barely sleeping and have not eaten. When I did manage to sleep tonight, I had nightmares about her. What was really only 4 hours felt at least twice as long. It's like the meaning/passage of time has completely changed.

I am still unsure as to how I would like to memorialize her. I am thinking maybe a scrapbook of photos/milestones, but that is likely a few weeks off. 
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JCat
Sorry for your loss. Totally understandable. The pain is like no other. It gets a bit easier as time goes by so hang in there. I'm learning to deal with the same issue myself. It's been 5 months, and I feel the pain daily, but I can make it through the day now.
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Lrogers424
Waningcrow,

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain hat you are in.  I can tell you that everyone's journey through grief is different.  The only way to navigate is right through it.  Allow yourself the time to grieve, and there is no time limit on that.  There will be days that your heart breaks all over again, and then days when you feel like you can function.  Eventually time doe help heal the sharp pain, but the love and even loss will always be with you.  That is the price we pay for loving our little companions.

I am almost 1 1/2 years out from the loss of my best friend.  I will always love and think of her.  I did choose to adopt again and love having a companion.  It was not an easy decision and rough in the beginning, but it's all good and I am happy that I can give another dog a wonderful home.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself through your journey.  Reach out at any time for help!
Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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