Elizabeth10
About 3 weeks ago my 15 year old Maltese went missing from my backyard. All the doors were locked and he's never snuck out on his own before. My boyfriend and I spent 3 days running through my neighborhood, calling his name desperately, looking through bushes, asking people if we could look in their backyards. While we were looking, neighbors would come out and warn us that many of their dogs were taken by coyotes. On the 4th day we hiked up a mountain in my neighborhood 2 streets behind mine. I stayed hopeful while we walked and walked. Until I spotted my baby's collar on the floor. I was overwhelmed with emotion. Hopeful that he was nearby, but scared and prepared for the worst. We walked a little higher and stopped at what we thought could've been the coyotes den. We ended up finding his little Cal football jersey, ripped up and slightly bloody. I was completely devastated. We searched everywhere trying to find his body but my boyfriend decided it was best to go back before nightfall in case the coyotes were dangerous. To this day we cannot find his body. My motherly instinct tells me I can't stop looking, but my logical side tells me to let the circle of life do its thing. The house is too quiet without his tags jingling against each other on his collar, no little paws running around on the hardwood floor, no old man waiting for me at the stairs so I can carry him up, no one waiting for me wagging his tail when I come home. It's been a long and hard 3 weeks. And I almost feel as if I should stop looking and let him lay in peace, but that could be the hardest decision of my life. I miss my old man baby every single day. I knew the day was coming sooner or later because of his age. But the way he went out was not right to him. I feel an overwhelming sense of never being able to find closure and be okay with the situation. I miss him so much. And I will forever hate coyotes. They had taken so much away from us. Because my Maltese was 15 and his health had noticeably declined, I knew it was just a matter of time. I had a last day planned for him that he will never be able to enjoy. A week prior to our loss I had gone to Hawaii for 2 weeks while my parents watched him. I barely saw him for a couple of days and he was gone. The worst part about it all is not being able to remember him. His face, his little bark, and all his little quirks that made him...him. I miss him terribly.
Quote 0 0
Weepatchesoflove
Elizabeth10
I am so sorry for your loss, no passing is at all easy, but yours is particularly cruel and just heartbreaking. I wish I could say more, other than I am sending you my best wishes and hopes that you do get closure somehow. My head would say, I think you should stop too, there will be nothing left now after three weeks and maybe your little guy sent you to where his clothes and tags are to try to get you some finality that way?
On here you hear loads of stories of how dogs hide their pain from us and could it have been natural instinct to give himself up? We credit dogs with so much, so who is to say they don't specifically know when it is time to go and this is how your little guy dealt with it, maybe to try to save you?
Their loss is horrible and our tiny wee guys (I am a Lhasa mom) holds huge, huge spaces and places in our lives and it is so painful and hard when they are not here. I hope this forum will help you a wee bit, with others maybe able to give you a better or different ideas on what to do and how to help with the grief.
Once again I am sorry.
Take care and best wishes
Michelle &Patches
Patches mum
Quote 0 0
camunki
my heart goes out to you....our pets are like our children, and sometimes closure may never happen. I was sad as i was reading on about your story and wondering what would happen next...Your motherly instinct wants to know what happened, that is understandable...yet sad thinking that some of the coyotes have already taken the lives of your neighbors dogs. You could always go back just once more and promise yourself that will be the last time searching.....I have always had hope in my life, i've heard of dogs gone missing for one to two years, and the dogs actually ended up going back home (I know this is a one in million chances, but it brings a smile to my face after losing hope and your pet finally comes home). Whatever choice you make, i am glad you have your babies tags, keep that for a keepsake for now....I don't even know what to say, but I am sorry for what you are going thru and please keep posting, it truly helps to know others out here really care and can relate to what you are feeling.

Cam


 
Quote 0 0
silvermini3
Elizabeth10, I am very sorry for all of this. It's hard enough to lose them, but to not have found him adds to it, I'm sure. And then the imagination goes places it shouldn't. I'm very sorry. Whatever happened, it is over now. Just peace remains. I sort of agree with Wee in that maybe finding his collar and shirt were gifts from him. Although devastating too. Hoping for healing one day soon. Remember, he got good love for 15 years. 
Quote 0 0
CCIntrigue
I  am so sorry for your loss.
Quote 0 0
MLynne
I'm so sorry that this happened. I know also as mentioned that his sweet spirit led you to his tags. Take comfort in knowing he had the best life with you and will forever be your guardian angel. I'm glad you found this site and know that a whole lot of guardians are praying for your healing and peace.
Quote 0 0