tikidikidoo

I met Havana at the no kill shelter where I volunteer. She was a scared, shy little black girl brought in with her sister from their foster home. I have been a volunteer at his shelter for over 10 years and have felt a bond with every cat to some degree but never one as profound as the one I felt with her. She was so scared at first but her brave spirit shone through and she quickly came to learn that she was safe and loved. I will never forget the day I came to the shelter and was told that Havana was very sick. I didn't understand how it could happen so quickly. I had just held her in my arms 4 days before and she was fine. She very yellow(jaundiced) and refusing to eat. She was at the vet receiving treatment. My heart was broken. I believed from the moment I met her that she would one day become a part of our family. Given her young age and her happiness at the shelter I believed we had all the time in the world to see how our life together would play out. I took her home to care for her and make her well (or so I believed) I force fed her and gave her pills (she hated this but endured it stoically and always forgave me almost instantly) I was so thrilled when she began eating on her own again. I believed it was a major turning point in her recovery. On the morning of her death I was feeling so good about our progress. I gave her a kiss and said I would see her when I got home from work. When I returned home I rushed in to see her and found she had a huge open sore on her chest. I was deva stated and started crying immediately. Then I realized I needed to get her to the vet that had been caring for her ( she was diagnosed with immune mediated hemolytic anemia) I rushed her in and the vet discussed with me what could have happened to cause such a terrible wound. I didn't think anything in the room she was in could have done this to her! She was taken away to be stitched up and I was frustrated with the fact that she had one more thing to deal with but relieved that we were getting it taken care of. The vet returned and gave me the terrible news. Havana's skin was so fragile that the stitches likely wouldn't hold and she had found other injuries around her neck. As she was talking the truth hit me. I couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. It was time to let her go. This happened on November 20 and I am still struggling to come to terms with the loss of this little black cat that touched me so deeply. I only knew her for a short time but she has impacted my life in a major way. Did I do enough, did the vets do enough, was Havana ready to die? These are questions I will struggle with for the rest of my life. I was told I did all I could for her but those words mean nothing to me right now. I believed I could make her well and now she's gone and I can never hold her, kiss her, or tell her how much I love her ever again. That is the only truth I know. Why did this happen to her? Did she know how much I loved her, how strongly I believed that I could make her well enough to enjoy at least some time here in our home? These are questions I will never have answers to. They will haunt me always. I know, in time, the pain will fade but the questions will remain. Maybe we were meant to be together in a different time, a different place. I hope so. I hope to see her sweet face again one day.

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Maria
Dear Friend - I believe Havana knew how much she was loved and that's the most important thing you need to remember. I believe you did the only loving thing you could do given her condition, it would not have been fair to her to let her suffer, that's why you let her go. Her name caught my attention - I was born in Havana, Cuba ... I wonder how she got her name. And yes, you will see her sweet face again, she will welcome you when you're called home. I wish you peace and healing in the days ahead - hugs.
Maria - Ralphie's Mom
"Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
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Tricia
Dear Friend,

I'm so very sorry that Havana had to make her journey to the Bridge.  Please don't ever doubt that you didn't do enough for Havana.  You did the very best you could to give her a life in a forever loving home and she knows that, she knows how very much she is loved. She made her journey to the Bridge knowing how much she was loved and how you and your Vet did all you possibly could for her. Now her spirit lives deep within your heart and soul, her love all around you and the day will come when you will be reunited with that precious baby. She is with all our Angel babies, they will take good care of Havana.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with and may you find peace and comfort in the days ahead.

Hugs,

Tricia

Tricia, Burton&Ozzie's Mom

"Good night sweet prince:And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"
William Shakespere's Hamlet
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jasminesmom
Dear Friend,

I am so sorry your beloved Havana had to leave you in body, but she will never leave in spirit. Know that the love you two shared will never leave your heart.

My prayers are with you tonite as you walk thru this journey of sorrow.
Jasmine was there to welcome Havana.

Hugs,

Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
Jasmine was loved
Jasmine was given ProIn
Jasmine is now gone
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JAMIN001/Resident.htm
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tikidikidoo

Thanks to all who have posted here to support me in my loss. Your words and prayers mean alot to me. I am so grateful to have this place to turn to where I know people will understand and respect what has happened to Havana and I. I am humbled by the grace and understanding that people who are suffering their own losses are able to show to others in similar circumstances. Such is the power of our beloved animals. There are people in my life, I am sure, who believe I should "be over it" by now but I am not. My relationship with Havana was sacred to me and I will move through this process in my own time and will make no apologies for the length or magnitude of my sadness. My thanks to all of you who are helping me through this very difficult time.     

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