winstonsmom12
Good Morning My Baby!  Winston, the first 3 days after your passing , I was in shock. The next 10 days all I could do was cry hysterically.  Today I woke up missing you terribly.  I still feel numb, but so very sad.  I haven't dreamed a single dream of anything since tht day.  The weather today is cold, cloudy and rainy, which is fine with me because it suits my mood. I don't want the sun to shine ever again as far as I'm concerned. Still no ashes : (.  But Winston, I will still feel compelled to RUSH home even when I do get them.  I feel I know you will be home and waiting for Mommy.  I'm so empty inside, I exsist on Auto Pilot. The summer is coming, and I dread it.  You know I never liked Summer anyway.  I was always SO CAREFUL not to let you stay out too long, or take you walking in the heat of the day.  Bulldogs cannot take the heat.  I would only let you out for 5 minutes at a time during the day to do your business. I ran the A/C all day for you and kept u from the heat.  I always thanked GOD I had central A/C because of you. You hated water, or I would have gotten a little wading pool for you.  Sometimes when I let you out during the day, you would sit directly in the sun and heat.  I would worry sick and bring you in after 5 minutes. You would be panting and drooling and I couldn't figure out why you would want to sit in the direct sun.  I made sure your water bowl was filled with COLD water and would give you lots of Ice cubes. You'd sprawl out on the kitchen floor to cool down :) when i brought you in. You were petrified when I gave you baths in the tub because you hated to be wet or in water. So I always hurried the baths. Baby, I am Heartbroken. I see your beautiful face in every room.  With your lower jaw protuding and 2 bottom front teeth missing :))) Winston, I would give ANYTHING to have you here with me again.  Maybe having your ashes will make me feel like you are back home where you BELONG, In OUR house, and I will feel a little better. I love you to INFINITY MOMMA'S BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY. XOXOXO 










































Susan
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Rmcneill944
Hi, and so sorry to read your story and know your pain. My boys name was Winston too. He was a mini schnauzer who departed this life on Friday. Ive had him since he was 8 weeks old and would have been 13 on June 6, which is my birthday too. Ive been crying since Friday. I am single and Winston was my sweetest buddy. Everynight we'd cuddle in front of tv on the sofa, especially in his last days. I knew he was sick but just thought we' have another year together. I visted my mom in New Jersey this weekend and the weather was nice. Winston liked the outdoors so I left him stay out for a while. I fed him that early evening and went back to give him his evening heart meds and he was missing. We looked ALL OVER my moms property and then some. We never found his body as my mom lives in the woods. I read thats what they do when tbey know its tgeir time to pass on. Not finding him made it even harder to accept since I live in Michigan, so I had a long sorrowful 12 hour drive back home without my companion Sunday, who always sat in the passengers seat and used to put his snout on my right sholder as a drove.That melted my heart. Theres s place on my sofa that still smells like him and even my blanket has his scent in places. I just kept smelling it. The house seems so empty without him. I miss my friend and Im starting to cry now , at work, so Im goona go. I wish your pain moves by swiftly and your memories of your Winston warm your heart and make you smile.

Rose
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winstonsmom12
Rose I hope you got my e-mail.  I'm still not sure how to navigate this site
Susan
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danzey
WinstonsMom..................You will feel better once Winston is home, I promise you.  In a way you think what difference would it make, but it really does matter, so I can promise you; you will feel better.  You can hold him and hug him, sleep with him and take him anywhere you want (even places you never could before).He's safe now (no more worry), no more getting over heated, and if you thought he didn't like water much, he's splashing in it now (it's what friends do, talk you into trying things)  Now he truly is with you forever.....danzey  
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Rmcneill944
winstonsmom12 wrote:
Rose I hope you got my e-mail.  I'm still not sure how to navigate this site
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Rmcneill944
Yes I did. Thank you so much for your support. My mom asked me today if I will ever get another dog. The way I feel now I dont really know.
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Bizbol
Susan,

I'm very sorry for your loss. Your story reminds me so much of the heartaches and sadness I have experienced. Well, I'm sure what you wrote strikes true in the hearts of all the forum members. We all know what you are going through and the horrible pain losing your dear friend causes.

Time will do its healing, but that is a fact that is hard to believe at first. I couldn't bring myself to believe it, but I do feel better. Mind you, I have never forgotten my beloved Tsuk nor will I ever, but it seems the pain of losing him is not as raw as it used to be. I can now smile when I think of him, reminding myself his loveable personality and all his little quirks. It has now been seven months for me, so you have to be very patient with yourself and not dismiss your feelings. Crying is something that has help me greatly; it seems tears take some pain away, but very, very slowly.

Hang in there and post here often. This forum and all its kind members have been life savers for me.

Sending thoughts of healing and strength,

Eric

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