TheCatLady
It’s so hard when I see the posts here. People have had their furloves for years before losing them. And I keep losing mine after 1 year. I suddenly lost my cat after a year of having her, it was painful process as the vets tried to save her with blood transfusions.

Losing her devastated me. And before I was ready I took in a little baby stray because she was all alone and my heart broke to leave her starving and dehydrated.

So I took her in, nursed her back to health and she in some way healed my heart. She was the most loving little creature. She insisted on sleeping under my blanket, perched under my chin- and she followed me everywhere.

She’d just had her first vaccination and a week later I took her to the vet because she’d stopped eating and drinking. He diagnosed her with feline lukeimia and at only 3 months old he said to put her to sleep.

I didn’t agree. But I didn’t stop him from proceeding either. So I guess I did let him.

But now I feel so broken and I feel as if I’ve taken a tiny life with my own hands. She was still awake, just sleeping a lot. And my husband keeps telling me she was in pain. But I can’t live with myself. She was 3 months old. What on earth have I done?
Quote 0 0
PeppermintPatty
Oh dear. This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry for your devastation.

Please don't be too hard on yourself for this decision. Guilt is such a normal part of the grief process when you have to say goodbye to a fur baby. Weighing the odds is difficult. But if she was sick, watching the decline in the health of a pet is awful too. When they stop eating and drinking, try as you might, sometimes there is nothing you can do.

You were so sweet to take in a little stray who I'm sure appreciated you in her own short little way. Believe in your heart that you did everything you could. And remind yourself, not having her suffer was a humane decision.

Sometimes we don't always have the answers to put us at peace when we question our decisions. But I can tell that this little kitty was more than just a stray. She came came into your life and touched your heart. Only an angel can manage to do that in such an incredibly short amount of time.

Take care. 
Quote 0 0
TheCatLady
Hi @PeppermintPatty thank you for your kind words. I think my grief is made worse by the fact that 1- this little creature really did trust me with everything. And I feel like I failed her. 2- that I can’t face telling the truth to anyone except this forum. I’ve lost quite a few cats too soon in my life. And it’s just heartbreaking to go through the reasons and the well meaning but insensitive humour that inevitably follows.

I think it will take a long time to heal this time.
Quote 0 0
CK1991
You did what was best for this dear little kitty. From everything I've learned it only gets worse. You let her go peacefully but it's very hard to accept. It's so unfair! So sorry for your loss. Hugs to you,
CK
Quote 0 0
TheCatLady
THanks @ck1991
Quote 0 0
Kittypiller
Im sorry to hear you lost your furbaby so young, I can feel your pain, its been 2 months ago today that i had to have my 4 1/2 year old cat butter put to sleep due to cancer, i raised her from a newborn and its so hard to accept that she is gone. I cry everytime i find something that was hers and every time i think of her. I have found it helpful to write a journal of all the good times we had and that she loved me as much as i did her. Know in your heart you did what was best for your baby and she is no longer in pain.
Quote 0 0