winstonsmom12
Tomorrow will be 5 months since my Winston left me.  My grief has lessened, but my heart still aches like it was yesterday.  I still ask myself all the "what ifs" to this day.  Never a day goes by that I dont see my babies beautiful face, that I dont want to kiss it, and get on the floor and hug him.  Everytime I come on this forum, I cry, today is no exception.  

As I have said before, my solace in all of this is that I pray I spared my baby anymore needless suffering than was necessary.  I LOVE YOU WINSTON.  And i will never forget you EVER. Take care of your brother Max for me ok? Mommy loves you guys to infinity.

                                                            Winston
                                                         6/1/04-3/2/16
                                                               R.I.P.
Susan
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NormaT
Hi Susan,

Just wanted to say I know how you feel and I am certain you did what was best for Winston. When his suffering ended then yours began. A sad fact for everyone here.
I know you are usually one of the first to respond to anyone here who needs someone to understand, to comfort and to reassure them. We all need that at times, if it's 5 hours,days weeks or months.
Norma 
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middleway
Even though it's so difficult, you did the right thing for Winston.  Our pets are not here physically to feel our love, but I know they are aware and are looking out for us.  The last day I spent with Max I felt so loving & peaceful and not concerned about the silly things in life that might otherwise have bothered me (The dryer broke, I had a hard day at work, ...).  I wrote a small note called "Max's Lesson" about that day, so I can remind myself in the future.  I consider it the greatest thing I learned from him, a final gift that could only be given on that day. 

Take care
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maryellen1952
We both lost our best friends at about the same time.  It's been 5 months since my Pekingese left me.  I think about him every day and have photos on my computer screen saver.  Sometimes I wake up at night thinkiing about him; then I start thinking about all the 13 dogs I've lost and the tears start all over again.  So I understand how you feel about your Winston.
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camunki
Hi Susan, i also came to this forum (about 3 months b4 you) and I always remember your beautiful posts about Winston, and how you fostered and adopted, etc...and yes, 5 months to me is still new, yes the pain lessens but we still miss the physical part of our babies being there. And I still cry to this day, just soft tears, cuz I miss my girls. Winston is still with you and still loves you, thru the signs he has given you...........until you meet again :)




Cam


 
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CKMP
Susan,
Your notes to Winston speak only of the great love and care you have for him.  He was truly a special friend and companion and will always be with you.  He knows that love and affection even today.  Nothing can break or lessen that bond between, I am convinced.  I know how you are feeling - as soon it will be also 5 months since I lost my girl. .. and while the overwhelming grief that stops us in our tracks has as you say lessened, the heartache has not.   There is a 'hole' in our hearts that our special ones held and therefore our hearts are no longer 'whole'.  I wish for you many days of precious memories, some moments of peace and calm and those signs from Winston that warm the soul and give faith.  Take care. 
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winstonsmom12
Thank you all for your replies.  It means a lot to me that you great people remember my Winston and I.  Well, today is 5 months. Whether it be 5 months or 500 years, I will never forget my baby.  I miss him so much, it kills me.  I know we are all going through similar feelings here.  Winston was my Life, my Love and my Child.  I went away once for about 4 days, and i boarded him.  I told the owner "This is my life right here, so please take care of him".  They did, and I was very anxious to get home.  

As he got older I didn't go away anymore.  I just didn't trust anyone to take care of him like I could.  I lived my life for him.  I pray he remembers that and how much I loved him.  I don't think there will ever be a day I don't think of him.  I still can't look at my fav. pic of him because i'll totally lose it.  But there will come a day when that pic will be on my wall with a memorial to him.  I Love You Winston and My Max.  R.I.P.  Mommy XOXO
Susan
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OmarR
Susan,

I am RIGHT THERE with you! I am coming up on 7 weeks, and you mirror everything I feel. I still ask myself "what if I did things differently?" i still cry everyday. If I look at my fav pics of Emma, I completely lose it. When I drive home from work, I cry the entire drive home because I know she will not be there to greet me.

And just like you, I will never forget my baby. I hope that for both of us, and everyone else on this forum with a loss, we eventually learn to remember the good times, therefore allowing the sadness to heal.


Take Care!
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My_boy_kai
Hi Susan. Just want to let you know you are in my thoughts. Winston was so lucky to have you for his mummy, you did all you could for him and had a precious life together.
I feel exactly the same for Kai being my life, love and child. I envy all who had a long life with there babies. But from what I read no amount of time long or short is ever enough.
Hope you are okay today, sending hugs.

Take care.

Vikki ~ Kai's mummy xxx
Kai
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