Hi all , tomorrow is going to be a big day for me and all of you that are suffering or have suffered the loss of a beloved pet. As i say it will be one week tomorrow that i had my baby Gemma put to sleep.

I can remember the actual times and events and don't think  I'll ever forget them 08:45 went up to the vet and told them that I had to bring my baby in as she had really deterioated over the week-end and got and appointment for 10:30 .Went up at 10:20 shown into the room and then had to sign the consent forum to give her permission to put Gemma to sleep, the vet and an assistant came back and I put her blanket on the table they laid her comfortably upon it.She shaved a bit of her left leg first and injected about half of the syringe, then shaved the right leg and injected the rest . I was stoking her chin as she loved and her head dropped they listened to her heart for awhile then touched her eye and she didn't blink and my baby was gone . The time was 10:44.

Don't think i will ever forgive myself although i know what i did was best for Gemma . Carried her out to the car , took her to see her friends that we always walked with at belhaven park ,Wishaw everyday at 11:00 . Then drove up to the crematorium.

So as we hit those times tomorrow i know i will be in tears wishing i still had my baby
Gemma's Daddy
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First you think of it at the same time each day, then the same day each week, then you start to mark the time in weeks, then months, a year and so on but you never forget.
My cat Shanti was put down on Thursday November 30th 2014 at about 7:15 in the evening.
Sometimes I think of it on a Thursday, but each month on the 30th I always remember.
It is painful but you gave your baby a great gift by letting Gemma go.  No more weakness or sickness, no more problems at all.  It is love that helps us make that choice and when we do we say"So that you can be free, I will feel the pain of grief."  You baby is worth it, without the love you never feel the pain but I will take the pain to have loved my Shanti and I am certain you feel the same about your Gemma.
I will pray for you,
Marlene Wagner
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Thanks Marlene for your kind words , i know i did the right thing by Gemma but at the moment i still feel guilt and sorrow . It's amasing the people i have talked to with views from both sides . The animal lovers who have lost or dread losing their beloved and the others who say it was just an animal , and to them i say until you have had the love of a pet you know nothing of love . Your pet will love you unconditionally and only want your love back , they won't hurt or betray like a human will.

As rachbu says just can't wait for it to feel less awful.
Gemma's Daddy
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Gemma's daddy - My sincere prayers that you find peace in your memories. It is 3 weeks since we had to put down our beloved dog, AJ, at age 16. We rescued him at age 5, and in those 11 years he has been a devoted, loving dog. He declined in health from arthritis so bad that we had to carry him everywhere, his hind legs would give out on him. The vet said it is a type of progressive paralysis, and eventually he would lose all movement in his rear legs. It got to the point that we would have to hold his hips up when we took him out to do his business, or he would fall. That added to the fact that he was confused and blind, and roamed the house aimlessly at night. My husband and I took turns sleeping on the couch next to him.
Anyway, 3 weeks seem like hours ago. I, too, remember every detail of his passing. We actually had a vet come to our home, and AJ passed while on his favorite chair, I am so glad we kept him home, but now that chair remains a vivid memory.
I talk to him every day, I touch his urn every day, and yes, I cry every day. There is such a huge emptiness, and our house is uncomfortably quiet! The hole left in my heart leaves me with a devastating sadness.
I do believe that we do not make this hard decision on our own. Our pets are our soulmates, they are part of our heart and soul. When it comes time to make this heartwrenching decisions, they have helped us as we have helped them. The one thing that keeps me going is believing that AJ has been thankful to me that I have let him go to a place where he is no longer suffering. And I know he is young again, once again able to chase squirrels and birds, and he is always with me. I sleep with his blanket, which smells like him, and I am not embarrassed to admit that!
So, we all on this site, know your pain. Talk to us, talk to your Gemma. We'll all get thru this, but let it take as much time as needed, no matter how long. I know I refuse to let anyone tell me that I am grieving too long!!!!

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Hi There,
  I lost my Luckydog male beagle and best friend on 10-01-2015. He was my very best friend and there is not a day that goes by where i don't mourn for him or shed a tear for him. 
i remember the first time i met my new daddy, it was around the 2nd week of march the year was 2007. it was very cold and getting dark outside and i do remeber this quite well, it was freezing rain out and i don't know exactly how long i have been on the run, but i was sure cold wet tired and hungry.that night i found myself running in and out of traffic with the lights blinding my eyes, thinking to myself watch out for the cars cuz i am going to get squashed. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere i hear this voice calling me come on boy come on boy. this voice calling me didn't sound like my old master, but at least it would get me out of this cold weather. Did I even have a master now, I have been running on my own for days, no one to feed me no one to warm me no one to love me. When I heard that strange voice calling me, i made a mad dash for him and remembed jumping up in the back seat of this mans car. Oh boy i said to myself, its nice and warm in this mans car as we drove off. Where was I going home with this strange man or to the pound? The ride in the truck did not take us far, we arrived at a very strange house a place i have never seen before. I remember being left waiting in the truck while this man that found me went inside his house. The next thing the man came back out to the truck put a collar and a leashe on me and took me inside. I did not know what to do, I was scared, who are these people? Its not my old master and why was I dropped of in the middle of the night by the woods and left there? I guess I was now abandon,homeless, but i sure was lucky this nice man picked me up before i was hit by a car. The family was very nice to me, i learned prior to being found that this nice family had two beagles for 16 years that had passed on. Was I going to take their place now? The man dried me off with a towel and gave me a nice hot meal and water and a nice warm blanket and crate to sleep in. I was so happy tonight, I would not be running wild.
Luckydog had a great 14 years or should I say the other way around he gave me a great 14 years, but then one day this past Sept 29, we went for our evening walk came back about 7:00 pm and he looked to be having a grammol seziure. He was lying on his side legs paddling and vomiting profusely, I stood him up an gave him the Heimenec manover and he stopped choking. Got him all cleaned up and he appeared ok? The next day he woke up but he seemed to be looking like going from a 14 year old dog to 100 year old dog overnight. All I did was cry, but Luckydog did eat some eggs with me that morning how he loved eggs. During the evening Luckydog got sick again and lost his urine like he had no control. We knew he had a mass on his spleen when he was 12 the vet found it, but Luckydog was to old for surgery and the vet said maybe another 3 months or so, it would grow large. Well on October 1-2015 we made arrangement to take Luckydog to the South Deerfield 24/7 Emergency Animal Hospital in Mass. His regular vet was out of town in California for a vet conference. 
  That afternoon before we tooK Luckydog to the ER Vet Hospital, he came from his doggie bed from the bedroom took a drink of water and looke at me as if to say, "Daddy I am Sorry, but my time has come. He kind of hung his head low. In 1.5 days I watched Luckydog go from a 14 yearold pretty health dog to 114 year old man!
  My wife left work early came home and said he looked really sick, I had been crying for almost two days straight, so I put Luckydogs lease on him loaded him up in the SUV, my wife drove the 35 min to the vet hospital and I sat in the back seat with Luckydog the whole enitre time he rested his tired head on my shoes as if he was saying goodbye one last time.
  When we got to the vet hospital, the vet tec took all Luckdogs health information and took him in the back for an exam. A half hour later Dr. Erica came to the waiting room and got my wife and I and brought us back to the exam room. Luckydog was brought in and he had been given a mild sedative. He did not show no pain unless you picked him up under his belly. Dr, told us that his spleedn was taking up his entire abdomen, and she offered anti-biotics and vomit medicne and we could take him home, at the time i was crying profusely. The Dr. offered to do a full cbc on Luckydog. In that time as we waited, I had told my wife I have been watching Luckydog go downhill for two days , at home he would not eat even chicken rice and hamburg. This was telling me that he was going very slowly.
  Dr. came back in and told us that Luckydog was in Kidney and Liver Failure his bun and creatine were 72 and his spleen was a large cavitated mass that was full of fluid and more than likely the fluid was blood and she though it was to be a malignant cancer now. Even before the blood work took place I told my wife that I cannot watch him dwindle and suffer just to keep myself happy, it would not be fair to Luckdog.
 The vet left us alone and told us that Luckydog could not go home in his current condition which meant a hospital stay and maybe $$$$ thousands of dollars he was worth every penny, but i could not watch him like this any more, so we decided to put him to his final sleep.
 The vet left us alone for about 20 min with him he was already sedated, but I hugged his so and told him that I loved him and in his ear I said thank you Luckydog for always being there though my own cancer and my cancer surgery and my port surgery and my 9 months of chemo and all my other medical conditions. I thanked him very much for being there for me, of couse i have a wife and daugheter to, but they both had jobs so during my time of need Luckydog was there for me each and every day. Sometimes I would lay on his doggy bed with him and every night before bed I would give him a kiss on his nose before i climed into bed myself. His doggy bed was on my side of the bed.
  Dr. came into the exam room and asked me if we needed more time with Luckydog I said no I am ready as my wife and I hugeged Luckydog and cried the vet gave him the pink shot and in a second he went to his final rest. This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I had two female beagles for 16 years that went to their final rest the same way, but it was not as hard Luckydog was. 
 I asked Dr. is he still breathing, she replied right after i gave him the shot he went to sleep in a second. We stood there and cried for awile and we asked for cremation, I kept a pair of roasary beads right over his doggy bed in our bedroom and I wrapped them around his right front paw, and asked they be put in with him during his cremation. I pated him on the back and said thank you for everything and we left. I cried all the way home with his leash and collar in my hand. Right now even as I write this story i can't get no control it hurts so bad inside. A week later we pickedup Luckdogs ern and i put his color around it and can't thank everyone enough for being so kind to us at the animal hospital. Luckydog will never be forgotten or relplaced and every night cry at different times and have a candelighting for him on this web-site. Tonight will be his first candlelight ceramony. Now the holidays are comming so its going to be even harder, and I still waiting for a sign from him letting me know he is ok and that he has met my other two beagle dellie and molly up at rainbowbridge.
  If it were not for luckydog i don't think I would be making it through this cancer and be 2.5 years in remission.
Thank You For Reading
Love your Daddy
David R. Gaspari
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David R. Gaspari
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Thank you all for your kind words . Last Summer 2014 Gemma was doing her favorite past time chasing a rabbit, she wasn't quick enough to chatch them just loved running after them . She got her left hind leg caught in a fence wire that just pulled her leg and made her fall but she didn't even limp or anything. By September she had a small lump on her leg so took her to the vet which after tests was diagnosed as a mast tumour.

Due to her age and position of the tumour we decided that it was inoperable, then i went onto the web and most of what i read was six months max. Well i got roughly 17 months. They didn't know how strong my baby's heart was .I miss darling and always will , i will never have another pet as Gemma was for me the perfect partner.
Gemma's Daddy
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my heart goes out to you, and yes you did the right is sad to let our babies go, but they depend on us to caretake them and
make decisions for them...we are their voices........I am glad your Gemma had 17 months, same with my beloved Daizy she had
a mast cell tumor..........and was given 18 months survival, and she lived 29 months....thats 11 extra months than predicted, she
was a strong girl.

Cancer sucks and ends up taking the lives of many beloved pets...........know you are not alone & did the right thing for your
Gemma and she is happy above being your guardian angel.


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thanks for your kind words camunki . Yes i did the right thing but as it is so soon it hurts so much , i just wish i could tell her just once more how much i loved her and how proud i was that she was such a kind and lovable soul.

Gemma's Daddy
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