AnnetteinNC
By now most of you have probably read my post about our four legged child having passed away early Saturday morning. There is one big thing that I can't get out of my mind. I applied some Frontline on her early Friday morning,she acted normal all day and didn't start with her heavy breathing until very early Saturday morning.
I believe she died because of congestial heart failure. Wednesday night  she also was breathing a little unusual but not a fast paced as on Saturday, I took her to the park on Tuesday and on the way back she just sat down and would not move any further.
On Thursday our vet detected a heart murmur,on a scale from 1-6 hers was a 3,the vet used a stethoscope but I read since that sometimes more tests are required to truly determine how advanced it might be.
So the thing that I feel so guilt ridden about is,did I trigger her episode by applying the Frontline earlier in the day???I had purchased it last fall. Other than in the winter she had been getting it all along with no problems.
I couldn't stand the idea of me having caused this!


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LisaAnn

Your going through the same thing I am.  The what if's maybe's did I's etccc.  I know on some level that I did everything I could that I exhausted every option and every treatment.  But I still ask myself what if their was something else I could have done.  I think it's a part of the grieving process.  You can't blame yourself you did nothing wrong.  You loved your baby heart and soul remember that.  Your baby may have been sicker then you knew. Trust yourself and know that your furbaby would not want you to feel guilty.  When all you did was love them. 

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dalmatian

annetteinNC--------It could have, but that Is not to say It did. It depends on so much---the age of the animal,It's health and all conditions of It's health.-----Last year there was a problem with Frontline,as I was told by vets but that talk soon died down.  IT IS A PESTICIDE and that will always have to be taken Into veiw.----------I'm sorry that your baby Is gone and that the train ride that you were both on together had to stop. But wait till you feel your babies fur against your check or can smell It's breath again. There Is no feeling like It and you will know In your heart that all Is okay. Marty & Critters

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Goobiesbf
You're suffering a big case of "The Guilts".  It's normal and happens to us all.  It's also extremely painful. We review every little detail from our babies' last days and for each one think of a gazillion alternatives.  The coulda's, woulda's and shoulda's start spinning in our minds until we become petrified by ideas that we didn't do enough, we did too much, we waited too long or we didn't wait long enough. All of this may be crowned with the most guilt-filled thoughts of all: "I let my baby down.  I failed my baby.  She died because of me.  If I'd only done it differently, she would still be alive."

As the veil of grief slowly changes and begins to lift, you'll begin to see reality and the guilts will begin to loose their grip on you.  You noticed all kinds of signs during her last week and you even took her to be checked by her vet.  You'd applied Frontline before and she didn't have a reaction.  Odds are that applying it last Friday didn't cause a reaction either.  With a #3 murmur (which would prevent the efficient flow of blood through the heart and lungs) and possible congestive heart failure, your dear girl was being called home.  Our babies are very good at hiding the symptoms when they first get sick.  By the time we see symptoms, they are fairly well along.

Try not to blame yourself.  You couldn't have been a better doggie mommy because you were already the best there is. 
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shmoobear
Annetteinnc, it most likely was't the Frontline, but I can understand why you are trying to find some reason...and why you are feeling guilt and pain. I feel the same....if only we had taken him earlier and got x-rays...could we have stopped it before it got to that point? The answer of course is no. When animals get splenic cancer (which is what Dakota got), it's fast moving and aggressive and the prognosis is just so poor even if it hasn't spread. It was just his time to be free again. This morning is a sad morning...the grief seems to have settled in and the realization that this is a long road, without him, is very real.

We have to be sad, and then be happy that they aren't in pain, that there time was happy, and that got to spend it with them. It's hard for me to even right those, because what I want to do right now is cry, and I probably will. I just miss him....and you miss her, because we loved them so, so much.
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Susie_Squillions
Dear Annette,

Since the congestive heart failure had been detected on Thursday, it's unlikely that anything you did caused your beautiful girl to leave you when she did.  It's absolutely normal for us to try to find a reason, to try to find something we could have done differently.  We want answers, but we don't always find them.   

I remember so well trying to find a reason for why my little cat, Buddy Guy, left us six years ago this weekend.  Did I do something that caused his cancer?  I've come to terms wit the fact that his condition was out of my control.  What I did do was love him better than anyone could have, and gave him the best possible life, filled with happiness, while he was with us.  I know you did the same for your baby.  It's just so darned hard to be left behind.

Your girl is within you and all around you as long as you live.  The bond you share with her is eternal, and will never be broken.  Please try to release the guilt and the temptation to blame yourself.  You were an excellent fur-mom, and you did everything you could for her with the information and resources you had at the time.

xoxoxo


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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AnnetteinNC
Thanks to all of you who have replied so far,your replies did help!
I even called the vets office again this morning and asked the veterinary assistant about the frontline,she said that she had been working there for a while and seriously doubted that it could have caused it.
However - my guilt trip isn't over yet since I read this morning online that one cause of congestive heart failure could be due to an infestation of heartworms. She had not been on heartworm meds for a while,since she was mostly indoors (I know,I know, major guilt there now!!!). I looked up the symptoms of Heartworm disease such as coughing up blood,dull coat,weight loss,fainting,nose bleeds or yellowish tinge to tissues,she did not have any of those.
But still I feel guilty,it's yet another huge case of the "what if's"...

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Goobiesbf

I'm going into Mommy mode now: uh..uh..uh..Don't you do that.  Heartworm does have very specific symptoms and the vet would have picked right up on them.  A neighbor's dog had heartworm and after my one experience with its symptoms even I could diagnosis it.  Hang in there.  It's a rough ride for you right now but we're there with you and so is your girl.  The guilts don't last forever....

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Angel

Annette: 

Please do not take any medical advice from those on the forum.  They are not licensed.  All they can do is relate their personal experiences as I myself.  And any that claim they are; then they know that the likelihood of  Frontline or Heart worms being the culprit are fairly negligent.  Your girl was diagnosed with the CHF before the Frontline.  And for heartworm to be the causative they would have to have been present in abundance and that your Vet would have picked up on.  Please feel free to e-mail me at RBAngelDuck@gmail.com .  

I am extremely sorry for your loss.  And I apologize if anyone has made you feel discomfort with their words.  Some have a hard time understanding that their well-meaning comments can be hurtful and once spoken irretrievable.  If you would like to come to the petloss chatroom here is the link.  You will mostly find someone there every evening from 7-8 PM eastern time and onward.  http://rainbowsbridge.com/Grief_Support_Center/Grief_Support_Home.htm#chat

May God bring you comfort and peace of heart.

Angel aka AngelDuck

Chatmaster and monitor of the chatrooms. Lost furkids, Smokey, Lady, Pepper, Missy, Scooter, BJ, Dakota, Ms. Fortune
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