Finnigan03

It’s been 24 hours since I said goodbye to my Frankie. He was with me for 16 years. I still don’t think it’s real. 

Frankenstein wasn’t even supposed to be mine. When my neighbour told me about some barn kittens they found I begged my ex for one. We already had two and he was not having any of it. I finally convinced him , with telling him he could be his cat. So Frankenstein became ours. When my ex and I split I had formed a bond with Frankie that I had never had before. He didn’t like anyone but me. He slept with me every night snuggled in my arms. There was no way I was giving him up. So Frankie stayed with me. We went through so much together. Moving to another province among other life changing plans.

When Frankie was 7 he got pretty sick. After a trip to the vet they discovered his love for hair elastics got the better of him. He needed emergency surgery to remove 11 hair elastics from his stomach and intestines. He gave me quite a scare back then. So many people said I was crazy for spending close to 6000 on a cat. He wasn’t just a cat. He was my fur baby. He was my bestie. Him and his fur siblings were my entire world. There was no second thought on getting him the help he needed. 

I lost his brother and sister two years ago. The hole in my heart wasn’t repaired from that and I don’t think it ever will be. 

A week ago Frankie was sick again. Stopped eating, stopped drinking. Did nothing but just lied there. I thought oh no here we go again. No matter how hard I tried to hide those elastics from him he still found them. But this time it wasn’t the elastics. Frankie was in kidney failure. First diagnosis was chronic kidney disease. However his readings were off the chart. Brought him home to change his diet and get him on the mend. He disagreed. Refused to eat anything. We tried everything. Cat food, wet and dry. Dog food ( suggested by the vet) we even tried his favourite tuna. Back to the vet. Xrays revealed his kidneys were enlarged. Vet said outlook isn’t so good. Take him home and enjoy what could possibly be his last days. Two days at home and he still refused to eat. There was nothing more we could do for him , except to let him go. 

my heart hurt so bad I thought it was unbearable. I was worried we weren’t making the right decision. Then he gave me the look. The one that said it’s ok mom. I am ready. I wish I was. 

I am trying to keep my brain occupied but sometimes the pain is too much. 

He was my last kitty and the hole in my heart is now bigger and I don’t think it will be repaired 

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Annesmimi
I’m so so very sorry for your loss. I was able to truly relate to your story as it doh d ave eh similar to mine. I had my Chloe for 14 years, she was my baby, my best friend, love of my life, she’s been there for me for so many events in my life. She was my girl my baby! It’s been 5 weeks since I lost her and I feel as lost and heartbroken as the day it happened. She too has left a hole in my heart that I honestly Don’t feel will ever heal or be filled again. I hope that time helps us both to heal. I do feel very blessed to have been given this beautiful baby to love. Hugs to you as you process this loss...
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JulieF
So sorry for the loss of your Frankie.  I had to let my 19 year old boy Patch go 5 weeks ago due to kidney failure so I know what you went through.  He was my special boy.  It leaves a big hole in your heart.  Try to remember how special your bond was and be thankful you had that.  Life is quick and we all have to remember to enjoy every moment.

Bless you.
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Memories_of_Marmalade
Dear Finnigan03

I too am very sorry to read of your loss of your beloved cat "Frankenstein." What an awesome name for a cat! It is so easy to read how much you loved, cherished and adored your little boy.

I had never intended on having another cat in my life until I met my boy "Marmalade" (an orange and white tabby cat) 850 miles away in the high desert country of New Mexico. He stole my heart and we became the best of friends and in many ways he was my "Spirit Animal." As "Frankie" was your "Spirit Animal." They are very rare to come across.

As I struggled to try and help "Marmalade" with his chronic health problems over the years that we were together I was shocked to learn that the average life span for a stray or feral cat is only 2 to 5 years. We humans can automatically increase a cats life span simply by providing them with regular food and fresh water, a home with comfort and safety (from predators and the weather etc.), trips to the vets (for treatment and medication etc.) and love and affection (which is important for pets as we know.) So thank you for taking in your Frankenstein when you did and for providing him with some good years. He needed a home and you provided him with one. Along with all of the above. All cats should be so blessed and all humans should be so fortunate to have known such love in their lifetimes.

I wish you and yours healing during these difficult and challenging times. Just continue to travel through time and you will continue to heal.

Kind regards and & sincerest condolences,
James
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Monroegirl
So very sorry for your loss of you Frankenstein. I lost my beloved kitty a little over a month ago and it's so difficult. It helps to post on here....take care.
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Finnigan03
Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I am doing a bit better each day but the hole is still there. I am thankful for this forum. I feel like right now it’s my only source of healing. My friends and family don’t want to talk to me about him anymore and I just miss him so much that’s all I want to talk about. I had set up my spare room for him to be alone away from the hustle and bustle of my house (I have two hyper active dogs) and I can’t bring myself to go into the spare room. I walk by it and touch the door and cry. My dogs seem to be looking for him. Even though Frankie didn’t like the dogs I know they miss him too. So thank you everyone and thankful for this forum where I can talk about him and talk about my grief with zero judgment. 
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Bigcatsdad
I'm so very sorry for your loss of Frankie, you can tell you really cared about and loved him.
Almost fourteen weeks ago we had to make the painful decision to end the suffering of my best bud Albert, he was 16. He was my big black cat, the friendliest guy you'd ever meet. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him so terribly much. When the time comes that we have to say goodbye to a little furry one that we are so close to and love so much it's truly devastating. We sometimes don't realize how much they mean to us until after we say goodbye, then it's such a dark wave of sadness and grief. When we have to make this painful decision to end our little ones suffering it's so hard, it breaks our hearts so much but deep down inside we know it's right to end their pain and suffering. We do this because we care and love them so much. I hope as some time goes by and your grief subsides a bit you can take a little comfort in that you gave Frankie a good loving home and life, you went above and beyond and did all you could and that you both made such a difference in each others lives. Grieving all takes time, everyone is different and it takes a long time to put the pieces of our broken hearts somewhat back together again but our little ones do take a piece when the go..
This forum is very good, it has sure helped me. Everyone here understands the pain, sadness and heartbreak of an experience like this and what you are going through. You are not grieving alone.
My heart goes out to you.
-Jeff
Bigcatsdad
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