It’s been 24 hours since I said goodbye to my Frankie. He was with me for 16 years. I still don’t think it’s real.
Frankenstein wasn’t even supposed to be mine. When my neighbour told me about some barn kittens they found I begged my ex for one. We already had two and he was not having any of it. I finally convinced him , with telling him he could be his cat. So Frankenstein became ours. When my ex and I split I had formed a bond with Frankie that I had never had before. He didn’t like anyone but me. He slept with me every night snuggled in my arms. There was no way I was giving him up. So Frankie stayed with me. We went through so much together. Moving to another province among other life changing plans.
When Frankie was 7 he got pretty sick. After a trip to the vet they discovered his love for hair elastics got the better of him. He needed emergency surgery to remove 11 hair elastics from his stomach and intestines. He gave me quite a scare back then. So many people said I was crazy for spending close to 6000 on a cat. He wasn’t just a cat. He was my fur baby. He was my bestie. Him and his fur siblings were my entire world. There was no second thought on getting him the help he needed.
I lost his brother and sister two years ago. The hole in my heart wasn’t repaired from that and I don’t think it ever will be.
A week ago Frankie was sick again. Stopped eating, stopped drinking. Did nothing but just lied there. I thought oh no here we go again. No matter how hard I tried to hide those elastics from him he still found them. But this time it wasn’t the elastics. Frankie was in kidney failure. First diagnosis was chronic kidney disease. However his readings were off the chart. Brought him home to change his diet and get him on the mend. He disagreed. Refused to eat anything. We tried everything. Cat food, wet and dry. Dog food ( suggested by the vet) we even tried his favourite tuna. Back to the vet. Xrays revealed his kidneys were enlarged. Vet said outlook isn’t so good. Take him home and enjoy what could possibly be his last days. Two days at home and he still refused to eat. There was nothing more we could do for him , except to let him go.
my heart hurt so bad I thought it was unbearable. I was worried we weren’t making the right decision. Then he gave me the look. The one that said it’s ok mom. I am ready. I wish I was.
I am trying to keep my brain occupied but sometimes the pain is too much.
He was my last kitty and the hole in my heart is now bigger and I don’t think it will be repaired